I’m having major difficulty churning out that damn article for that lifestyle magazine. I have no interest in the subject matter. I thought I could try writing a bit at the bookshop, but I feel too bad about doing unrelated work at work. I have no time at home because I am so stressed out from a long day at work fretting about this article that I need to play games on Facebook to destress. And the games take a horribly long time to load I end up taking more time to destress. And then it’s time for bed, which I must have because otherwise I’ll be even more cranky!
This article is really bugging me. My thoughts are on it all day long because the deadline is tomorrow and I am not even halfway through. I need time to do it but I’m on full shift at the bookshop today. 
That’s 11 hours long.
And now I don’t know what to write here. I tried writing about my job but I feel it’s so pessimistic and rubbish. Even this post sucks. GAH!
Really bad time to rediscover blogging. 
Yesterday was alright. Went grocery shopping. Had a nap. Proscrastinated as much as I could before I finally typed the first word to the article I have to write. Far from completing it! Thankfully, I am having my day off on the day of my deadline so I’m foreseeing a mad scramble and a oh-fuck-it-I’ll-just-write-crap-cos-I’m-sick-of-this-piece-of-shit type of writing…
So one might pretty much conclude the highlight of yesterday was not the anniversary of my birth but the interview for a freelance editor position! I’m not holding my breath on getting the position but this could be something for the future. I don’t know how well or bad I did in the test – it wasn’t that hard but I have the tendency to rush so I won’t be surprised if I made some silly mistakes, like missing out on a typo or something.
Anyway! What was interesting about the test was the last part, after the grammar, spelling, editing and writing parts. It proudly proclaimed itself as being a “FUN EXERCISE”. And it was, mostly. I’m replicating the question and my answers below. You should try answering it too!
Imagine or visualise yourself ten years from today. Don’t rush your answers and don’t put down the first thing that comes into your head. Really try to imagine yourself ten years down the track.
What is the date (ten years from now)?
3 July 2019.What’s my address?
Somewhere in Kuala Lumpur.My age?
34 (gahhh).Occupation?
Freelance writer/editor.What’s my income?
Enough to support my lifestyle!Write a sentence or two describing the family.
A husband, two kids and a dog! (I know, how boring, right?)Describe my social life.
Meeting my ex-schoolmates and ex-university mates once a month. Annual shopping spree in Thailand with shopping buddy. Mostly hanging out with family.What have I achieved in the area of my mental life?
Learnt enough to converse adequately with natives in French, Portuguese or Italian.What’s happened in my spiritual life over ten years?
Nothing. I’m an agnostic.Describe my greatest achievement over the past ten years.
(Oh man I just realised I answered this wrongly – I said writing a book for a college assignment. Oh well.) This is my least favourite question – I don’t think anything I will achieve in the next ten years will be the ‘greatest’. If there is, it would probably be having my own family, but how common is that! So… lousy question for me, yeah.
How would you answer those questions?
Oh, to all my American friends, Happy 4th of July! 
(Well, in this post at least. I will be doing lots of writing for my article for that lifestyle magazine!) read more…
1. Because I hope to write something that I like.
2. Because if I do so, I would feel happy.
3. Because when I feel happy, I enjoy life better.
4. Because I enjoy life better, I get inspired.
5. Because I get inspired, I write more things that I like.
6. Because I get to create my own circle of happiness! 
Idealistic hopes aside, I have to write more than I expect to write because I just received an assignment. A lifestyle magazine is considering to hire me on a freelance basis and the deadline for the 3-page article is next week. I haven’t even got around to writing the first word yet but I’ve been doing a little reading up on the Internet about the subject matter. I’m planning to sit down and churn it out during my day off this Friday.
Also on Friday, I have an interview with a publishing company who might consider hiring me as a freelance editor. Well, what they’re really looking for is a full-time editor but though chances are slim, chance is still there. Besides, even if they do not hire me now they might keep my CV in view of future projects. Coincidentally, the person I’m due to meet for interview is the very same customer I served at the bookshop! She visited the bookshop last week and I remembered her because she signed up to be a member at the bookshop and I was the one serving her. I remembered her e-mail address as she put in her work e-mail in the registration form.
So I’ve really got a lot to write for this alone, what more with this blogging project! Biting off more than I can chew. 
Thankfully, the good thing about blogging is that there are no limitations to what and how much you can write!
People disappear when they die. Their voice, their laughter, the warmth of their breath. Their flesh. Eventually their bones. All living memory of them ceases. This is both dreadful and natural. Yet for some there is an exception to this annihilation. For in the books they write they continue to exist. We can rediscover them. Their humour, their tone of voice, their moods. Through the written word they can anger you or make you happy. They can comfort you. They can perplex you. They can alter you. All this, even though they are dead. Like flies in amber, like corpses frozen in ice, that which according to the laws of nature should pass away is, by miracle of ink on paper, preserved. It is a kind of magic.
- The Thirteenth Tale, Diane Setterfield
I like the thought that I’m still around even when I’m really not.
I like knowing that the old me is still there for me to go back to when nostalgia hits me.
I like to be remembered.
So this is the blogging project I’ve been hinting about. Unlike my previous blogging projects, this is more for my benefit than yours. How does it work? Simple. This is my personal NaBloPoMo. I will be writing a post every day for the month of July.
However, your participation in this project will be very encouraging for me. No, you don’t have to blog every day for this month – that’s my task! I would really appreciate it if you can show encouragement for my personal project with a pledge of your own. It can be anything – maybe you can encourage me by commenting on all 31 posts I’ll be writing this month. Or you can write a post about what I’m doing in your blog. Or you can ask me one question each day to help me blog about something. Or if you want to, you can blog for the entire month with me! Though I really don’t recommend it. 
I never dared to take this challenge even when I was much more into blogging before!
So why am I doing it now? I know this is going against the whole ‘blogging without obligation’ mentality, but I feel I need to push myself. At the recent workshop I went (which I felt did not help me much for the kind of writing I do at work) the facilitator shared a story about what her editor told her when she was starting out as a journalist. She said that between a rubbish piece of article and no article at the end of the day, her editor preferred the former because that way there will be something to work on, unlike the latter because you basically did not get anywhere with your writing.
I agree with my facilitator’s editor’s words and so this is me putting myself to the test. I will probably be facing writer’s block every day, but in pushing myself to write something every day for 31 days, it is hoped that the more I write, the better I will get at it and in the process, rediscover my passion for blogging.
Please support and encourage me!
