I Rather Die Just To Be Right

I could have been in 3 minor car accidents these past 2 days, and none of them would have been my fault.The 3 other drivers tried to turn into the main road (which I was driving on and therefore have the right of way first) through impatience, carelessness and pure idiocy.

The first would-have-been accident was a driver who tried to make a U-turn into the main road; I have just turned into the main road myself, but since I am there first therefore the driver should have waited for me to pass first, but he was so impatient he tried to turn first. I was driving in a nearby neighbourhood, one that I am very familiar with and therefore my driving was sure and fast, despite having just turned into the main road (yes, I drive an auto). There are drivers who would have given him way just to avoid an accident - not to say that I wouldn’t but I just don’t think of avoiding accidents when I’m driving, when I’m clearly in the right of way! We both had to break and jerk our cars forward within inches of each other, and naturally I blared my horn and gave him a what I call my tulan face (a furious scowl of sorts).

The second would-have-been accident was a lorry driver who tried to turn opposite my lane, which is the main road. There was another bigger lorry which is trying to turn and was blocking this lorry’s driving vision, and because this wasn’t a very busy road, the driver assumed there wouldn’t be any cars and tried to turn across my lane to the opposite direction. Again, the lorry had to break and jerk itself forward and I had to rely on my trusty horn to express my anger. (I am very hot-tempered in the car and spew foul words like a candy shower in your dreams. I also love my car’s horn because it has a very angry tone to it when pressed for a few seconds; some cars have toots than horns, which makes them sound like they’re squawking rather than screaming at errant drivers).

The third would-have-been accident was a driver who was also trying to turn across my lane into the opposite direction. I was just about to turn into another lane which is just after that driver’s lane. So I was slowing down just before I had to turn, but the driver had to wait for me to pass before he could make his turn. I don’t know what the fucking hell is wrong with him, he thought that he should turn first because I was slowing down!! Again, break and jerk and horn. :evil:

I get really riled up by driving situations like this because these drivers’ attitudes could have cost me time and emotions and trouble, when it’s not even my fault. If you raise the degree of these would-have-been accidents - if instead of just having broken or dented bumpers, someone could have been killed in the accident, I would rather be the one who died but was faultless than the one who caused the accident but survived, because I couldn’t stand the guilt.

Bloggers Unite

My point is even though I know life isn’t fair, but what I wish, other than life to be fairer, is that people are treated as equally as humanly possible. Right to be treated as equal as others who are of different sex, ethnicity, body size, et cetera. Right to receive basic necessities as those who are getting them in abundance in other countries. Right to freedom, whether in speech or liberty. Right to basic human rights, and also non-human rights.

I know my would-have-been accidents doesn’t really relate to my wish of equality in rights among all humans, but I think what they both lack is fairness… Life isn’t fair, and I sure wish it were a little bit more that. Fairness is justice, and justice is right. Right should be ours to have as creatures equal in the eyes of God.

ps. About this post’s title, of course I don’t mean it literally! I mean, it’s stupid to want to die just to be right… I rather not die, but I still want to be right if I can. :P I mean, sometimes you just feel like that, don’t you? That the only way to prove your point is to go all the way with it?

I Am So Annoyed With Myself

I don’t know why I feel so antsy and like I’m still stuck in a blogging rut. It’s kinda stupid to fret over my blog when it should be something I enjoy doing. Which I do, I do enjoy blogging, I don’t believe I ever found anything more fulfilling than reading but there you go, I’ve discovered that doing the opposite of reading is so incredibly rewarding, simply because you aren’t just connecting with your inner self but also connecting with people anywhere, any kind when writing by blog.

See, that’s the thing. I’m so passionate about bloggerdygook that it frustrates me when the wheels in the blogging part of my brain aren’t turning as smoothly as I’d like them to be. When I’m passionate about something, I get very excited about it. When I get excited about something, I want to do my absolute best for it. When I want to do my absolute best in something, I create something that I am wholly proud of. When I create something that I am wholly proud of… I brought out the best in me.

(Off-tangent: can you imagine how I will be like when my object of passion is not something but someone?? Yeah, I am rather extreme like that… it’s all or nothing for me.)

That’s me. When I’m really into something, I have this inner drive that makes me go all the way. Nothing but the highest standards. That’s not to say mistakes aren’t allowed, but at the end, the quality of the product has to be unquestionably mine - that is, it won’t be the best, but it will be to my personal standards.

So it’s kinda annoying that I want to get into fifth gear of the blogging car, but it’s stuttering at first. Even more annoying is that I’m annoyed by it!

Please excuse this whiny rant, I have to let it out because then I know I can move on and actually write the stuff I’ve been meaning to write. It’s a cycle - get blogging block, moan about it, and my inspiration starts to flow again… so venting is the lubricant to my blogging wheels? Haha.

Just so you won’t get too irritated by this post, let me entice you with future plans coming up for bloggerdygook:

1. The Fantasy post (let your imagination run wild on this one ;) )
2. The Project Juan and I are supposed to do (which will be delayed indefinitely as he is crazy busy at the moment - I’ve done the content, though, so this is definitely happening, hopefully before I leave for summer course)
3. The Feedback post
4. The next blogging project (which will take place before, during and after summer course)
5. Should I make this my another blogging project? You decide, haha.

Okay, sulz should be back, feistier and zanier than ever by the next post… cross fingers!

The First Step to Independence

I made my first ever passport today!! This is the symbol of my gaining independence… The day I use it is the day I will be solely responsible for my entire self. (Not that I wasn’t to begin with, but well, my family are quite mollycoddling by nature, so I kind of let myself be taken care of most of the time am not very independent.)

Lately I’m not in a blogging mood. (I’ve been in a bit of a reading frenzy, to make up for the past couple of months when I was so busy with college, final semester and all.) Looking at the frequency of my posts, you must think that I must be crazy to be blogging any more than I already have, but usually I space out my posts between days… so at this point I always have a future post or two, but right now I don’t, so it feels like I’m stuck in a blogging rut. Which is silly, really, because I actually have a few ideas swirling in my mind, but somehow they are either never at the front of all the other thoughts swirling in there when I am in the mood to blog, or I am too lazy to blog (gasp?) when it is.

Meanwhile, to tide you over until I actually get around to blogging those things, here’s a little video of my Handwritten Valentine Project, inspired after seeing Juan’s video of his trip to Russia. And then I’ve done two memes here; one was tagged by Ish and the other I found here and I’m treating it like a meme.

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Meme One

“Think of THE song that most inspires you to write, whether it gives you an idea for a story, script or just puts you into a better frame of mind AND/OR peek into the lyrics and find a verse that sums up the theme of whatever project it is you’re working on.

If possible, post a video of the song to convey to readers the full context of the song and the mood it puts you into. Finally, send the assignment to five other writers to do as well.”

Dashboard Confessional - Stolen
All-American Rejects - Move Along
Colbie Caillat - Realize
Lighthouse Family - Ocean Drive (I also love Free & High too)
Mika - Happy Ending
Shannon Noll - Shine
DJ Sammy & Yanou feat. Do - Heaven

The songs I’ve listed sort of inspires me in a way that it makes me imagine certain scenes or memories in my head when I hear it. Tagging: Crazyasuka, CJWriter, Poonam, Ashish, Lovelyloey.

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Meme Two

i am: sulz.
i think: a whole damn lot - mostly fluffy stuff.
i know: some things.
i want: a boyfriend, dammit!
i have: no boyfriend, dammit!
i wish: for a cash cow to fund my summer course.
i hate: papaya; haven’t touch the stuff for years.
i miss: college. :(
i fear: dying.
i feel: okay.
i hear: the usual noise in the house.
i smell: M’s dinner.
i crave: pancakes.
i search: for nothing, at the moment.
i wonder: if will ever fulfill my familial dreams.
i regret: breaking off a friendship in my teenage years, but in a way it’s made me appreciate my friendships better, so there was something good that came out of it.
i love: reading.
i ache: in my right hand (carpal tunnel?).
i care: about treating people fairly and being treated fairly.
i always: eat too fast.
i am not: very smart.
i believe: in karma.
i dance: to nothing; i can’t!
i sing: when i’m in the mood or if i’m trying to be annoying.
i cry: too often, too easily.
i don’t always: eat healthily. :(
i fight: verbally.
i write: in my blog.
i win: in tai ti most of the time.
i lose: my temper quite easily.
i never: thought i’d be where i am today.
i confuse: people with my ramblings sometimes.
i listen: to people but not many are willing to confide.
i can usually be found: in front of the computer.
i am scared: i will suffer painful health problems in the future.
i need: to feel safe.
i am happy about: the near future.

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ps. Does anybody know where I can interact with people around the world for non-dating purposes? (Clearly, I have not been searching with the right key words.) As in, I’m looking to e-mail a local to know about the place where I’m going for my summer course (which I will reveal to you dear readers once I have truly stepped foot upon that country).