1. My car had a flat tyre one night while driving home from work. The tyre burst even before I left the parking lot, but I had never experienced driving a car with a flat tyre before so I thought it was an engine problem at first. And it was on a day when I left my cell phone at home, of all days. Thinking it was an engine problem, I thought the car could hang on while I drive it home but a quarter of the way home, I had to pull over. I was kinda scared because I was in the middle of the highway, with no way of communicating with Dee. I tried flagging down a motorcyclist, as the emergency lane was right next to the motorcyclists’ lane, but none would stop. In the end I found someone walking by the deserted industrial area opposite the highway and borrowed his phone to call Dee. The whole ordeal lasted about two and a half hours.
2. The writing workshop my bosses sponsored me for was somewhat of a waste of time, in my opinion. It was supposed to teach me how to write for online media, but it felt more like a workshop teaching me how to write a newspaper article. It might come in useful some day but I don’t think this was what my bosses had in mind when they agreed to pay for my participation. It certainly wasn’t what I had in mind either! There was too little online element in the teaching and I also think online media isn’t necessarily confined to newspaper websites. I don’t even get a certificate or something after the workshop. We were made to write an opinion piece at the end. I was one of the first to pass up because I didn’t put much effort in it. It felt like another class essay I had to write! I’m not sure if they will comment on it and pass it back to us?
3. Bosses have been on vacation last weekend and are only due to come back next week. At first I thought it would be good to not feel the pressure of performing in front of them but now I’m sort of wishing they come back soon. I have a lot of things I need to clarify with them regarding the website we’re about to launch. That will be done on the first day of next month itself but they are only due back at the very last day of this month! As a result, I have many incomplete tasks because I cannot proceed further without getting their approval or equipment from them. But I better enjoy this moment while it’s still around. Surely when they return I will bemoan their presence as all good employees do! 
ps. Goodness, I can’t believe I forgot to tell you what happened after the two and a half hours ordeal with my flat tyre. Dee came and waited with me for the motor insurance emergency van to come help us fix the spare tyre. When they did come and set the spare tyre, the spare tyre was leaking. Badly. 
Dee refused to pay for a tow truck so we had to leave my car at the highway. The next day my dad brought the mechanic over to where my car was, and discovered the passenger car door was jimmied into so badly that I can’t use the key to open that door. 
I’ve lost my passion for blogging.
I used to look forward to checking my blog for the latest comments. And the stats, of course. I couldn’t wait to read what blog buddies have to say about what I wrote. Now, I just immediately load my Facebook home page and feed reader.
It has been feeling like a chore to write here recently. My habit is to have the first two tabs opened; one for this blog and one for something else. It reminds me every day that it’s time I get back into the blogging habit. Somehow, the feeling has yet to return.
Is it because few comment in here anymore? Is it because I am facing difficulty being inspired to write? Is it because the time has come for me to quit blogging?
I’m not ready to give up this part of me that I have poured here for the past three years. I have started many diaries and none has lasted as long as this one.
And I also do not want to leave the friendships I have made through this platform. Though many have left me, I still think of them. And I miss them. I miss the people who encouraged my writing. And I care for the ones who are still hanging around, like you reading this.
I’m not sure what I want from bloggerdygook. I don’t think it could be the way it was before, when I had the knack of thinking of universal topics that anyone could engage in. I know that I don’t want this languishing feel the blog currently has. As if someone is half-heartedly keeping it up. Which is not as if because it is.
My life is balancing itself after the chapter of my previous workplace has been closed. I am happy working at the bookshop, even if not everything is to my satisfaction.
Now, I want to fall in love with blogging all over again. If you can help me, I would really appreciate that. If you can not, it’s okay. This is something I should rediscover by myself.
No, I didn’t forget but I have yet to get out of my uninspired state even though I’m in the better half of June.
I finally finished the half-month part-time stint at my previous company, earned an extra RM500 which I will blow on some good pair of shoes when I can muster some will to go to the mall by myself this weekend because I don’t enjoy shopping by myself. But I need good shoes. And undies.
Last weekend I had my monthly dinner with my circle of ex-college classmates. We went to Zanmai Sushi. I had something-don, which is rice, egg and chicken (okay), some teriyaki thing, which is like chicken satay (yummy) and some sort of sushi which is some Thousand Island sauce on some raw prawn or something on rice (well, it tasted like raw anyway). Yes, Japanese cuisine is not my cup of tea for sure! 
It’s good to eat something out of my comfort zone once in a while, though.
We then parted with a couple of friends who had to leave earlier and continued dinner with dessert at the place Dessert & Dinner had brownies before. Ohmygod… I totally got high on chocolate. Well, not just the chocolate but it did contribute much to my inebriated state. After brownies we walked about the mall some more for more food and we passed by this kiosk which sells this potato pie thing which I absolutely adore. There goes my sanity…
That was the first time in a long time where I just felt free to be as crazy as I want and I know the people around me would not judge me for it. Okay, there were talks about leaving me on the roadside but I never felt like I was too weird for them. So cheers to friends who tolerate you no matter how annoying you insist on being while drunk on chocolate and potato pie. 
Then I had to endure two days with the replacement whom I replaced before but is now replacing me. The sight of him just sickens me, it really does. He came in and greeted a loud good morning to everybody and one specifically to me. I grunted one in return but he got the message. Barely said anything to me and did not bother to be polite after that. I did not bother to explain my projects properly unless under the supervision of my boss. Yes, it is very unprofessional of me but thinking about what he did to me just made me really angry. What goes around comes around, I believe… (Anyway, it’s not as if I left him totally in the dark. After all, he’s worked at the job far longer than me and there is my boss and the materials left behind to refer to if he needs answers.)
So now I’m totally full-time at the bookshop but there have been many changes since my last update about it. For one, we have a couple of new colleagues, one of which I will working alongside with when it comes to the marketing development of the bookshop. He has many years in the industry, having worked as an editorial assistant and marketing executive at most of the major bookstores in Malaysia. At first I felt threatened, like I might be booted out while he takes over, but he turns out to be quite nice. He doesn’t seem to be competitive and he knows many people in the industry. I think I can learn a lot from him and he seems quite easy to work with.
For another, I’m not very happy with the current work situation. When the marketing colleague and I were hired, we were told we have to assist in the daily retail operations on top of the marketing activities we are doing. One problem is that the computer we use is outside where the cashier is and it hinders us from doing our marketing duties because customers constantly need our attention. Another problem is that I have to share one computer with my marketing colleague and it’s difficult to do our marketing jobs. Also, a colleague who used to do the cleaning around the bookshop left recently and the bosses have assigned all staff to do a duty roster… and the first people who had to do cleaning duty for the week was the marketing colleague and I. I felt that it was not something we should do. Already we were doing two people’s jobs with our marketing and retail duties, we had to chip in with the cleaning of the bookshop?
So I had a chat with the nicer boss about it, because I was really not comfortable with doing it, and neither was my marketing colleague. The boss did not like what I said and told me that I should dive into a job and know what’s it really about before complaining. But it was through that talk that I found the colleague who did the cleaning and left recently is now coming back. Well, why didn’t she informed us about the situation, instead of giving the impression that they were not going to outsource a cleaner or hire back my old colleague but instead expect us to absorb this job as part of our daily duties?
That said, I’m glad that colleague is coming back because she is the such a cheery character. She’s nice, kind, helpful and loves to sing out loud. She has a lovely voice and it often eases the tension at the bookshop. Also, the bosses have given me permission to clear out an unoccupied table which currently filled with junk to place the computer we’re using at the moment there. The marketing colleague will use one of the bosses computer in the meantime because they are about to leave for their vacation.
I’m also finally starting to do things I want to do at work as most of the shipment has been cleared. The website I’m helping to administer is beginning to take place. We will launch it in July and I will give you the address so you can read what I write about and give feedback so that I can improve!
Tomorrow I will be attending the workshop my bosses sponsored me for. Hopefully I can pick up a thing or two and help with my writing for the website.
I think this is the first time ever I did not make a post for over a week. Well, 8 days, but who’s counting?
You’re probably thinking that my hectic schedule at the moment is the reason for my lack of blogging activity. I don’t think this is true because I manage about 3 hours of Internet activities daily still. I play my usual games on Facebook, do a bit of Twitter, read all the blog feeds I subscribe to… no reason not to blog, really, since I’m online a lot though not as much as before.
Just now on the way to work, I was listening to something on the radio about how love at the beginning is exciting and passionate, but after it gets routine you don’t feel the excitement even if you still love the person.
I think that’s what’s happening with me and blogging. I love to blog but I’ve somehow lost the excitement. Add tiredness, lack of time and lack of interesting ideas to blog about to the mix and you get sulz’s first ever mini blogging break.
The desire to blog lately has not been there. I noticed that most of my posts these days have been about my work situation and I want to deviate from all that. I know I’m not just all about my work. Yet, when I think of something I want to talk about, work is all that seems to come to my mind. (By the way, things at work is a bit different… See what I mean about wanting to talking about work all the time??!)
How do you reignite the fire? How do you rediscover your passion for blogging?
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I read an interview with an author somewhere and he said that when he has writer’s block, he will stop writing and just read and read and read until he is ready to write again. Maybe this is my blogger’s block telling me I’m not reading enough to my liking!
1. Wake up and not feel completely rested, even though you have slept for about 8 hours plus a 3-hour nap in the afternoon.
2. Lock your car while you walk towards the parking machine and realise you left the keys in the steering wheel lock.
3. Frantically call your father to bring the spare set of keys from home – thankfully the cell phone was in your pocket, which is the only saving grace since you usually do not put your phone in your pocket – while going to work worried sick someone might break open your car window and speed off with the keys right there for the taking. (You did ask this rather cute guy who works in this vegetarian food stall which you love frequenting – for the food, not the eye candy – to help you keep an eye while you’re at work.)
4. Get the bag, food and book you left in the car from your dad after he has gone to remove the keys from the lock in the car. But forget to take the keys from him.
5. Take the keys from your dad while giving him money to pay for the parking – which you have yet to do so because you cannot put the parking ticket on your dashboard when you left the keys in the car. But ALSO FORGET to tell him not to use the parking machine that eats your money. Consequently, you have to add more money to the machine an hour after your dad pays for the ticket because of that. After going in and out of the office three times already.
And all these happen before 10am in the morning.
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11.11am – Oh, doesn’t it get better! You scuff the pair of office heels that hurt your feet the least and the left shoe is spoiled. This is while going to pay for your parking after the one your dad paid expired because of the stupid machine that eats money.
10 hours and more to go before you finish work today. What else can go wrong? Come on, give me your fucking best shot.
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1.47pm – You realise the food you bought from your favourite vegetarian stall has been mistakenly switched with another person’s lunch. So you only had a half-eaten lunch because you don’t like the veggies in that packet. And the friend you so kindly bought food for from the same stall does not even offer to give some of her food, which you actually like.
3.16pm – You get news from your favourite colleague that she is leaving soon because the bosses do not want to give confirmation for her current position.
Yes, it was my fault for taunting Fate. Or whatever that makes my life shitty.
I’ve just had my first official day at the bookshop and it was tiring!!!
Firstly, we’re still sorting out the stock of new books that just never seem to end. My back ached really bad from all the bending down to carry the books from the floor to price.
Secondly, it doesn’t help that I still have to work at the old place for half a day. The other boss, who (whom?) I didn’t discuss this arrangement with, did not like it and not so subtly made her feelings known. Anyway, I leave the house before 8am and come home around 10pm. 
Thirdly, I’m not physically used to hard work. I’m not round without a reason! I’m not sweating it out at the bookshop or anything like that, but it is tiring to price books, carry books, attend to customers, blablabla… and I don’t get to start my real job just yet because we have to clear the stock first. I don’t even have my own table! But the bosses promise me soon, when all the books have been cleared.
On the other hand, I saw this workshop in the newspaper which I thought would be good for my job scope in the bookshop – when I get to do it – and my bosses agreed to pay me to attend the workshop! I have to do it on my days off but I guess that’s okay. Also, I got my cheques from the bookshop for last month’s part-time stint and I earned more than I expected! That was because I helped out with some copywriting and editing at the bookshop, which will be part of my job when I get to start doing that. So I should be able to clear my debts quicker!
Okay, after writing that it does seem I have more good stuff to focus on than bad. I’m just really tired and when I’m tired I’m cranky and I don’t want to talk to anybody. Except that I just woke up today with a strangely good mood, considering how tired and cranky I was yesterday. And I will soon be later today, bleh.
So if I don’t blog the next few days or weeks, you know why lah. I’m crossing my fingers my last day at the old place will be on the 15th. Then I can go back to a normal life. With the bookshop!
