blogging gobbledygook and such

As this post is typed, the keyboard is dusty. So are the floor, the chair, the computer table, the mouse, the very air – *takes deep breath*

Two days ago, kitchen was leaking from very unlikely spot. As leaking got worse, deduced 15-year-old creaking house is having plumbing malaise. Plumber came, surveyed and announced an RM800+ job. Poor M have to deep dig the in the pocket. Unusually did not grumble as this could not point finger at anyone for the cause of it.

Plumber claims a pipe must have broke, thus leaking kitchen. Plumber (Really, is plumber-cum-construction-worker-cum-electrician-cum-everything as story unravels) decides should do a ‘bypass’, meaning rerouting the flow of water through new pipes so the leaking one will be obsolete. As was away at university until early evening, came home to mucky toilets and still leaky kitchen. After repairing, kitchen is still leaking. Plumber declares it is excess water leaking the kitchen when they stop the main water source to clean tank and do ‘bypass’, which will stop eventually.

“How long?”

“Hours, maybe days,” he replied nonchalantly in Cantonese.

“It will stop eventually.”

The next day – today – the living room has a floorquake. Tiles crack as if an earthquake happened. Good news is only a small part of living room, maybe 25 square feet. Must make known that mathematics is not a forte, thus perhaps not giving an accurate measurement of floorquake. But positive is small area. M has to take shovel to dig very deep in pocket as multi-talented plumber enthusiastically (ok, plumber’s response is product of imagination as was away for class but makes lovely storytelling, doesn’t it?) takes up tiling job. His business card claims he can fix every household problem, from painting to changing lightbulbs to cleaning air-conditioner filters to constructing awnings of illegal measures (fact: awnings cannot be more than a certain size according to law, according to D). And the kitchen is still leaking.

At this point, next-door neighbour pops in to ask about leaky kitchen. Apparently, their room which is next to leaky kitchen (typical double-storey Malaysian terrace) is leaking too, insinuating leaky kitchen caused it. Multi-talented plumber has a hunch: he shuts off next-door neighbour’s main water source and voila! Leaky kitchen stops leaking. Plumber’s Hercule Poirot deduction: it is next-door neighbour who has plumbing problems which somehow leaked into kitchen, which makes everybody assume it is own plumbing problem and not somebody else’s plumbing problem. Furthermore, next-door neighbour’s leaky problem possibly cause soil erosion underground, which caused the floorquake. Of course, as everyone would probably realise, the punchline of this unfunny joke is that house did not need an RM800+ plumbing job. Plumber beautifully explains plumbing system is not transparent, thus is hard to know exactly where leak is coming from.

Kitchen has stop leaking, but utility room (aka store room) is damp now, despite next-door neighbour shutting off main pipe. Everything is still covered with a film of dust; tiling job continues tomorrow. Pipe water is still murky from water tank cleaning.

Right, signing off from construction site. Sulz, out!

(It’s no “Seacrest, out!” that’s for sure.)

18/2 In retrospect, cannot help but think had we looked for a second opinion for plumbing malaise, perhaps some other plumber may have used common sense and shut off main pipe to make absolute certain of plumbing malaise. That said, however, nobody would think water leaking in your kitchen would come from tactless, classless confounded neighbours.

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