blogging gobbledygook and such

am such a procrastinator that would mentally remind self that is okay to be so lazy regarding exercise now because college life is so hectic but in reality is just mostly pleasure reading and trips to the library for more leisure reading as well as that once working life starts and having to live by self that living a healthier lifestyle would naturally come ergo would lose pounds and gain a svelte figure to fit into power office suits thus looking more generically aesthetically pleasing therefore winning affections of family and opposite sex for ‘triumphing’ the ‘battle against the bulge’ but in truth am just pathetically evidently insecure in addition to trying to gain self-acceptance from approvals of loved ones and opposite sex which of course is something self wish self would not be so trivial and needy as to obtain approval from others to feel good about self because am also constantly trying to convince self that it’s okay to be fat and should feel good about self that self is worth more than how much her body weighs or how many As she scores or how much she earns or how often she dates but people can be cruel in their kind ways as they unhelpfully point out that you gain weight but equally unhelpfully keep silent when you lost weight thus thinking what’s the point of losing weight if nobody notices not that it was achieved by self will as was result of ‘boot camp’ but am digressing the point is…

what is the point of this post if cannot gather thoughts and express them in an eloquent manner you just failed to keep your resolution oh no please don’t start the self-condemning session you get enough of that from the Monster in the family you need to love yourself because if nobody loves you you have to do it like they say it’s a dirty job but somebody’s gotta do it because really if you don’t learn to love yourself you will feel life is meaningless but if you do learn to people can see that and would naturally gravitate themselves to you because people like people who like themselves and them of course then maybe you would find the kind of friendship that is beyond a superficial existence and cultivate a lifetime bond just like stories in chick lit books where the bff is loyal and always there for you when you feel low and knows your shopping tastes and would buy you the greatest gifts and go everywhere with you and have so much memorable fun that you love them more than yourself and would do anything for them and give them so much love and hugs and kisses that they become family to you until you have a family of your own but of course your friendship will remain but it’s just taken on a different dimension…

aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh thoughts are scrambled eggs yummy but too much of it will make you sick areyou sickfromthis scrambledeggssosorryifyouare…

stop. shut up. breathe.

Comments on: "Eurgh, is that emotional diarrhoea?" (1)

  1. “People mistakenly assume that their thinking is done by their head; it is actually done by the heart which first dictates the conclusion, then commands the head to provide the reasoning that will defend it.” – Anthony de Mello

    sulz: thank you for the quote. love your haikus!

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