In no particular order, needless to say. (Yet am saying for the sake of saying it … aih.)
1. Subtitlist – A veteran couch potato who industriously partakes in the activity of watching the idiot box, have naturally over the years noticed numerous mistranslations of subtitles, some minor, some glaring, some amusing. And always thought to self upon seeing the erroneous subtitles that am perfectly qualified by virtue of general knowledge gleaned from reading and respectable knowledge of Malay – A2 in SPM, 2 years of tuition and confounded karangan – to hold such a position and would undoubtedly excel at it. Problem is, have never come across a classified ad for a job like this.
2. Reviewer – Isn’t it divine for a bookworm to be reading a book, giving her personal opinion of it and getting paid for something she enjoys doing? Problem is, have to critically nitpick on it to come off as knowledgeable and erudite. The real problem is, am just not a thinking reader! Personally am not bothered if the book is nonsensical or if the author has not done proper research for the book, the point of reading it is escapism, not obsessing its accuracy!
3. Proofreader – Ooohh, think would really enjoy this one. Call it anal-retentive, but really enjoy correcting people’s grammar or essay or speech. Of course am not that tactless as to do it in conversation, but am constantly aware of the mistakes, particularly in the blogosphere. And certainly am not immune to typos or grammatical blunders (after all, am still learning English in college). Problem is, am not knowledgeable enough to correct people’s English as of yet. And how lucrative can it be to correct people’s English?
4. Housekeeper – Literally, to keep somebody’s house and not referring to the occupation that is similar to a housewife’s work. Wouldn’t if be fun if you could live in someone’s luxury home while they’re away for business or vacation under the guise of alternative security (ie. got people in the house, how to rob?). Can raid the fridge for paté and foie gras (hey, it’s self’s dream), use fancy Jacuzzis, sip champagne, snoop the walk-in closet… haha, dream on lah.
5. Tester – Try out the latest chocolate bars and give your feedback on it? Ohhhhh… only in chocoholic heaven perhaps. A variant of the reviewer job, but it’s not a job per se, who’s heard of people earning a living testing products?
6. Radio news announcer – Someone once told self that have nice and clear voice. Cannot attest to that as am own’s worst critic, but admittedly do enjoy reading out loud, despite self’s lousy intonation and tendency to catch a bullet train with speed of speech, which probably can be improved with proper training. Why not a DJ? Cause am not witty and talkative. Well, can be chatty once out of self’s shell but am a painfully shy girl in nature. So how? (That’s the perfect example of self’s incredible lack of wit.)