blogging gobbledygook and such

Em is always complaining how this girl girls who are not married shouldn’t be so fat, or else look very ugly in wedding dress and guys don’t like and all other equally ludicrous reasons for an unmarried woman not to get fat. Oh, just because you are married and FAT so you deliberately include that adjective.


Then always talk about that neighbour’s daughter who works as a part-time model, how tall she is, how beautiful she is, how slim she is, how she modelled with Amber Chia (“She model with Amber Chia before you know, she say Amber Chia is very down-to-earth”), how fucking whatever she is.

Oh, you forget lah this is the girl who also shoplifted from the mall and got caught, and have more boyfriends than you do a husband. You also don’t know, she made out in buses at thirteen years old. Go college also fail and have to retake her courses again, must be too much modeling la, so pretty mah. (Not that it’s a crime, but at least have advantage over her in the studies department.)

Very pretty hor?

(Actually have nothing against her, but constant comments by you know who of said part-time model neighbour poorly disguised as mere conversation but is really subtle subliminal comparison with self has made her near the top of the list of people self dislike. That, and the way her stupid shallow cow of a mother looked at self when bumped into her at Giant one day. Bloody hell, is it a crime ah to be short and fat and ugly? You no need to show your disgust like that okay, not everybody can be so pretty like your daughter. Don’t forget you’re so old already, don’t strain your facial muscles so much, you don’t want your face to look like an inflatable ball without the air, old saggy hag.)

Always grumble about how unhealthy you eat, then when she go Giant, she buy all those unhealthy food you like to eat. Then show undisguised approval at your choice of food. Like today. If your mother buy you chocolate cake, don’t tell me you don’t want to eat meh? She buy it specially for you, if you don’t eat nobody will, ‘cos you’re the famed chocoholic in the house.

So you eat lor.

Then your father come back buy you some more chocolate cake.


Actually don’t really like the cakes they bought also. (Not like totally don’t like la, but not say like very much also.) They just think it’s chocolate, she will like it. Then if don’t eat, feel so bad. So eat lor. Aih.

p.s. Please excuse the colloquial language used, because am too exasperated.

Comments on: "How to not get fat, you say leh?" (2)

  1. “you’re so old already, don’t strain your facial muscles so much, you don’t want your face to look like an inflatable ball without the air, old saggy hag.”
    HAHA That made my day.
    Something I like a lot about your blog is how you link to these old posts. (btw I hope you don’t mind me posting stupid comments on such old posts… I know some bloggers don’t like it)

    sulz: that’s absolutely not a problem with this blogger! she loves making people’s day, ‘cos that in turn makes her day too! 🙂

  2. […] the knee; for years have been hiding tree trunk legs in long skirts or pants. She makes quips like young unmarried girls shouldn’t be fat so they would look good when wearing their wedding dres…. The first thing she comments about after meeting self’s friends is their body […]

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