For someone who thinks of the idiot box as one of her closest companions at primetime, it is rather frustratingly incomprehensible how one can exclaim “Ooh, I want to watch this show!”, hastens to switch on the telly, eyes on desired programme like it’s the most fascinating show in the whole wide world before tuning out after two minutes and resumes whatever activity he was doing before.
Such a person is Dee. He has less concentration than an ADHD child watching his favourite cartoon. Every day, he tries his best to catch his two English news which is pretty silly, because news essentially report the same things anyway. The best bit is that once the tv is switched on, he’ll be in the kitchen cooking up a storm
(not literally, just doing whatever he does there, like cutting up fruits for his daily 3 bowls consumption – crazy, yes – and absorbing the oil from the ba qua with kitchen towels, complete with vigorous banging on the kitchen counter (to get more oil out that way) that sounds more like he is playing butcher and chopping up some avian creature)
or reading the newspaper with a magnifying glass
(because he has cataract he thinks it’s pointless to get glasses, everything is still blurry to him)
or doing some paperwork
or talking on the phone
or basically anything that distracts him from his so-called favourite tv programme.
When one threatens to switch it off, he protests heartily, eyes still on the paper, claiming he is watching or that he is reading the paper but he is listening to the news as well or that the news item currently reported is not to his interest and many other perfectly reasonable excuses but not in the case of Dee because though he honestly believes he is capable of watching the news while his ear is on the phone or his eyes on the newspaper, the truth is multi-tasking is not his forte. Mean, this is someone who refused to sign report cards while having his lunch because he can’t concentrate on two things at once. You’d think he wants to read thoroughly what the report has to say about his offspring, but once lunch is over, he simply asked “Where to sign?” and scrawled his signature there and went off to continue his work.
-_- Major digression, oops.
So imagine to self’s surprise yesterday Dee managed to watch an entire movie and recognised the central characters and could keep up with the plot! (Any plot more complicated than Mr. Bean and he’s pretty much lost.) He still did that irritating commentary while watching, a habit which self absolutely detests because his comments aren’t even remotely witty, they’re just said for the unfathomable satisfaction he gains out of uttering nonsense. He actually laughed at something funny said in the dialogue and not at some visual slapstick or romantic tackling that usually tickle his bones. (At this point, must make clear Dee is not dumb, he’s just too lazy to exercise what little mental concentration it requires to enjoy a witty dialogue in a movie.)
It probably had something to do with the movie’s theme that piqued his interest: football, and the Indian-cultured setting. (He is not Indian but for some reason he has an affinity for Indian people – he likes to toss out a few words in Tamil to Indian people to show off but generally they are more receptive to him after that.)
If you haven’t already guessed it, the magic movie was Bend it like Beckham. He got fooled into watching it when the opening scene featured a past Manchester United match and thought it was some kind of football show. Hahahaha.
It was really fun to watch the same show together. Self even indulged in his lame commentaries for once.
(But he’s still not cinema-trained unfortunately. Imagine taking him to a movie with his ever-prattling mouth.)