blogging gobbledygook and such

Hearing two mahjong kaki trying to talk football while waiting for the third player.

MK1: Cham mat lei yau tai kor kor football mou? (Did you watch the football match yesterday?)

MK2: Mou la, kam an. Cham mat ping kor tar ah? (No la, so late. Yesterday who played?)

MK1: Leh, tak kok tar lor cham mat. Hei tei em chor har. (Germany played the game yesterday. They’re not bad.)

MK2: Hai loh. Hei tei yi chin tou yeng kor mah. (Yes. They’ve won the World Cup before, after all.)

MK1: Li kor tak kok tong mai ba sai yan tei tai chui hou lor. Tor sou yan tei tou wui mai li kor leong kor lor. (This Germany and Brazil are the best. Most people place bets on these two when gambling.)

MK2: Ying kok leh, em hou meh? (What about England? Aren’t they a favourite as well?)

MK1: Em hai kei hou la. (They’re not that good. *dismissively*)

What do you expect from mahjong-playing ladies who are mothers and hence know-it-alls on everything on the face of earth?


Uuuurrrrggggghhhhhhhh *groaning in exasperation*

Mahjong may keep Em in a pleasant and non-confrontational mood, but certain players can really get on self’s nerves. There’s Bulldog Auntie, who’s perpetually downturned mouth never seem to ever curve upwards unless she’s won the day’s round of mahjong, whose chou lou (rough, uncouth, unfeminine) manners on the mahjong table absolutely drives self up the wall. Imagine watching your daily dose of TVB soap opera amidst the banging of mahjong tiles. When self say bang, am referring to the kind of palm-slapping-on-table-out-of-anger kind of bang. Now imagine that bang every 3 freaking seconds… Her voice naturally matches her uncontrollable hand, which can be ear-ringing, to put it mildly, when she’s losing badly.

Then there’s the legendary Mickey Mouse (don’t ask, long story). She is the stingiest old hag have ever the bad luck to come across. Every bit of morsel she will gobble down in the name of not wasting food (typical Asian trait, to eat every scrap of food on your plate because to waste is to sin – and one wonders why obesity is on the rise). She is so fucking stingy, she would not even buy her own dinner but feed off the leftovers of siew pau brought by another player as an afternoon snack.


Dee was taking orders for dinner tonight as M does not cook during weekends and he planned to go out to buy fruits later. Em wanted rojak and was asking how much does it cost with or without certain bits in it, like keropok and egg. Upon learning that rojak with egg costs an extra 20 cents, Mickey Mouse who initially wanted egg in her rojak quickly said, “Kam miong ah? Ngor geh moi tan ah!” (Like that ah? I don’t want egg for mine!)

Am so bleeding exasperated that could not help muttering out loud, “Leong kok che, sai em sai kam han ah…” (It’s only twenty cents, do you need to be so frugal…)

Em laughed uneasily.

Probably because have said exactly what was in her mind.

Am confident will not get the hairdryer treatment for impudence because she loathes the woman too.

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Comments on: "What’s funnier than hearing mahjong kakis bitch on the table?" (1)

  1. Your bulldog auntie sounds like such a pain in the butt that I hooted when I read this entry. I could feel your annoyance and exasperation as well as hearing it in this post [he he he]. Good writing.!

    sulz: merci 😀 self write best when am most passionate about something – which is mostly about self.

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