This essay was a first draft mistake for a cause and effect essay am supposed to pass up Monday, but liked the satirical aspect of it that decided to complete it as a blog post. It’s a satire of women who seem to think happiness revolves around the size of their waistlines. So please read this with a fistful pinch of salt.
The Joys of Being Thin
If I had to attend a high school reunion now, no one would have recognised me. My former classmates would have expected a bespectacled, rotund klutz, not a svelte, confident, gorgeous girl. What a far cry from the geeky, insecure teenager I was. A few years ago, freshly graduated from high school and tired of being fat and ugly, I had dumped my love handles, thunder thighs and double chin through rigorous exercise, a strict diet and banned substances like sugar and carbs. It may seem like a radical and austere lifestyle to lead, but the rewards are utterly incomparable to enduring temporary physical labour and repressing food cravings.
The most immediate difference I felt when I became slimmer was my soaring confidence. Suddenly I feel less insecure, less ugly and less clumsy. I don’t have as much body issues as I did when I was fat, and I feel more comfortable in my skin. Instead of making me look geeky, my glasses now make me look more intellectual. My clumsiness, before which might have been attributed to my large size, is now a charming quirk to friends and family. Soon, I began to feel more beautiful, more confident and more cheerful. Every part of my body literally shrank, toned from tummy to thighs; I look fantastic in whatever I wear. But the most important thing was that I feel good about myself, and that is clearly evident from my transforming personality as well. Gone was the glum, timid look, replaced by a sunny smile and self-assured aura.
My social life has thoroughly flourished in accordance to my physical reduction. When I started tertiary studies with my new look, I suddenly became from Miss Nobody in high school to Miss Popular in college. Everybody wants to be my friend, both sexes alike. From being perpetually home every Friday night previously, my social calendar is now filled to the brim with parties, movies dates, shopping excursions and travel plans. I’m not surprised; the human race are like bees attracted to the honey of beauty, and being thin is what’s beautiful now physically. Who would be interested or drawn to someone who looks physically negligent? That’s the impression you give if you are fat. Thin people connote a sense of healthiness and attractiveness, and that’s what draws people to make your acquaintance.
Being thin ensures I get my fair share of attention from the opposite sex now. While before I was regarded as a mere friend or a tool to get closer to my prettier friends, and had to endure disastrous blind dates set up by well-meaning friends, today I can definitely stand my own ground in the romance department. Sometimes I have trouble fending persistent suitors off! No more harbouring secret crushes and unrequited love for me. More often than not, the object of my fancy is usually attracted to me as well. If he isn’t, it won’t take too long for him to notice this slender beauty! I no longer envy my attached girlfriends who have such loyal and caring boyfriends. I’ve discovered that what I really like is to play the field; there are many fishes in the sea and many are just as interested to get to know me!
Of course, part of my newfound good looks is due to increasing variety of clothes available in my size. Even though I have always loved shopping, it used to frustrate me because I could hardly find something that covers my body and not highlight my flawed areas. Clothes my size then were difficult to get and there were limited places where I knew I could get something in my size but I have to fork out more money. Now I have more choices in fashion because of my smaller size and I get to pay less by carefully scouting the mall for comparison before making a purchase. I’ve become more adventurous in my style and am not afraid to show some skin. Baggy t-shirts and stifling long pants are banished from my closet to make place for fashionable miniskirts and form-fitting tank tops. As the saying goes, if you have it, flaunt it.
Before I had embarked on my pursuit to slenderness, I had never thought the physical and emotional rewards of losing weight would be so great. It was worth every drop of sweat, every declined piece of chocolate cake and every growl of hunger to achieve my goal. I can never go back to those fat days again.