blogging gobbledygook and such

This essay was a first draft mistake for a cause and effect essay am supposed to pass up Monday, but liked the satirical aspect of it that decided to complete it as a blog post. It’s a satire of women who seem to think happiness revolves around the size of their waistlines. So please read this with a fistful pinch of salt.

The Joys of Being Thin

If I had to attend a high school reunion now, no one would have recognised me. My former classmates would have expected a bespectacled, rotund klutz, not a svelte, confident, gorgeous girl. What a far cry from the geeky, insecure teenager I was. A few years ago, freshly graduated from high school and tired of being fat and ugly, I had dumped my love handles, thunder thighs and double chin through rigorous exercise, a strict diet and banned substances like sugar and carbs. It may seem like a radical and austere lifestyle to lead, but the rewards are utterly incomparable to enduring temporary physical labour and repressing food cravings.

The most immediate difference I felt when I became slimmer was my soaring confidence. Suddenly I feel less insecure, less ugly and less clumsy. I don’t have as much body issues as I did when I was fat, and I feel more comfortable in my skin. Instead of making me look geeky, my glasses now make me look more intellectual. My clumsiness, before which might have been attributed to my large size, is now a charming quirk to friends and family. Soon, I began to feel more beautiful, more confident and more cheerful. Every part of my body literally shrank, toned from tummy to thighs; I look fantastic in whatever I wear. But the most important thing was that I feel good about myself, and that is clearly evident from my transforming personality as well. Gone was the glum, timid look, replaced by a sunny smile and self-assured aura.

My social life has thoroughly flourished in accordance to my physical reduction. When I started tertiary studies with my new look, I suddenly became from Miss Nobody in high school to Miss Popular in college. Everybody wants to be my friend, both sexes alike. From being perpetually home every Friday night previously, my social calendar is now filled to the brim with parties, movies dates, shopping excursions and travel plans. I’m not surprised; the human race are like bees attracted to the honey of beauty, and being thin is what’s beautiful now physically. Who would be interested or drawn to someone who looks physically negligent? That’s the impression you give if you are fat. Thin people connote a sense of healthiness and attractiveness, and that’s what draws people to make your acquaintance.

Being thin ensures I get my fair share of attention from the opposite sex now. While before I was regarded as a mere friend or a tool to get closer to my prettier friends, and had to endure disastrous blind dates set up by well-meaning friends, today I can definitely stand my own ground in the romance department. Sometimes I have trouble fending persistent suitors off! No more harbouring secret crushes and unrequited love for me. More often than not, the object of my fancy is usually attracted to me as well. If he isn’t, it won’t take too long for him to notice this slender beauty! I no longer envy my attached girlfriends who have such loyal and caring boyfriends. I’ve discovered that what I really like is to play the field; there are many fishes in the sea and many are just as interested to get to know me!

Of course, part of my newfound good looks is due to increasing variety of clothes available in my size. Even though I have always loved shopping, it used to frustrate me because I could hardly find something that covers my body and not highlight my flawed areas. Clothes my size then were difficult to get and there were limited places where I knew I could get something in my size but I have to fork out more money. Now I have more choices in fashion because of my smaller size and I get to pay less by carefully scouting the mall for comparison before making a purchase. I’ve become more adventurous in my style and am not afraid to show some skin. Baggy t-shirts and stifling long pants are banished from my closet to make place for fashionable miniskirts and form-fitting tank tops. As the saying goes, if you have it, flaunt it.

Before I had embarked on my pursuit to slenderness, I had never thought the physical and emotional rewards of losing weight would be so great. It was worth every drop of sweat, every declined piece of chocolate cake and every growl of hunger to achieve my goal. I can never go back to those fat days again.

Comments on: "Don’t you just love being skinny?" (11)

  1. FormerlyObese said:

    I TOTALLY and FULLY concur!!!!!
    Have experienced the same after losing 120 pounds..wanna stay this way.

    sulz: as long as you’re happy, that’s what matters. 🙂

  2. OMG, I swear this is so inspiring!

  3. ilovebeingthing said:

    i recently lost a stone (14 lbs) and my life is so much better, i just had to agree and comment because I LOVE BEING THIN and this might sound a bit anorexic but being thin feels better than food tastes.XX

    sulz: congrats on losing weight. 🙂

  4. I love this blog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I printed this out and put it on my wall I am going to read it everyday 🙂

  5. TheMostAmazingThingEver said:

    Looks like no one read the word “satire” in the paragraph above the blog, LOL.

    It’ a SATIRE.

    SATIRE!!!

    sulz: finally, someone observed it! 🙂

  6. this stuff so wouldnt happen maybe going from like 300lbs to 150, but girls reading this will think going from 120lbs to 100.. whatever. i bet noone understands what a satire even means lol

    sulz: some things in life we need to go through to be able to look back and decide if it was the best or worst decision you made. ditto losing weight. 🙂 and yes, this one little word is overlooked by most!

  7. I like how you said to take this with a “fistful pinch of salt.”
    Satire is always enjoyable. Thanks for this. Motivational (I’m actually in the process of working my ass off at the gym) but also cautionary, in a way.

    sulz: thanks! i think you are one of the few people who actually understood the real meaning of this essay. 🙂 good luck at the gym – i could never bring myself to do that! 😛 but good for you.

  8. my gosh..i stumbled upon this today and this was extremely inspirational. wow. Hahaha i read it like four times. I can’t wait until this is MY story, only about 20 more pounds to go. Everyday i just remind myself “NOTHING tastes as good as thin feels..” Lol. Thanks so much!:)

  9. I’ve just begun the trek back to skinnyville. The thing I cannot wait for is to be able to wear ALL of my clothes again and not just my “fat” clothes. I’ll practically have a new wardrobe!

  10. Why would this be a satire? It’s more motivational than satirical. Satires are supposed to inadvertantly mock a point, but instead your just proved it.

  11. You can’t just tell people it’s satire…and then it becomes satire! It hasn’t been written satircally. It reads as though it’s for real; there’s no hint of any conflicting view than the one the narrator is clearly stating. It is also completely believable and true that being slim, will make others treat you differently, have more clothing options, and that you will want to show off your figure. And if you think men aren’t more likely to fancy a slim girl over an obese one, you don’t know men…. So, far so serious/non-satirical…

    There ARE ways to mock the pursuit of skinniness – lots of them, but this doesn’t do it. You could have done it from the perspective of a clueless girl who talks about how men are really listening to her now, really noticing her….personality, and how considerate her friends have become, never leaving her alone at parties – even when that cute guy they know she fancies is trying to ask her out, and how they never let their boyfriends bore her with their talk these days….etc…. You should read Jane Austen – she did a brilliant line in satire.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Tag Cloud

%d bloggers like this: