blogging gobbledygook and such

Dear Aunt Agony,

I have a problem.

Well, actually, I don’t have a problem. I mean, of course I have problems, but we’re not talking about me today. We’re talking about my “parents” problem. Which is really about their problems.

Anyway, that’s what this letter is about: my parents. They’ve got really big problems.

Let’ talk about the father first. His problem is that he’s a physical hoarder. He amasses things like old newspapers (so he can read it when he retires), boxes and containers of all shapes and size (in case he needs it in the future), travel brochures and pamphlets (for his clients and his reference), and broken or unused home appliances (because after he gets it fixed or polished, it can still be used). He stores all this junk in the remaining vacant rooms, which are the store room and his store room (a room especially for all his junk), as well as his study room. He’s running out of space so fast to the point that he is unable to do any work in his study room currently and ventures out to the dining room and setting up his work paraphernalia there on a daily basis.

Then, the mother. Her problem is that she’s a mental hoarder. She stockpiles her mind with memories of incidents where people had done her wrong (mostly her family) and their most embarrassing moments. Then she vomits these unwanted memories as reminders to the targeted recipient of her bitterness according to her whim and fancy. It also serves as her way of expressing her anger and frustration against said person. Formerly, it was more tolerable because she did not do this a lot. However, this is happening more frequently recently.

The real big problem is that the father’s physical hoarding is the source of the mother’s mental hoarding. She is extremely against his disagreeable habit and she reacts to it by the only typical way a woman knows: she nags. She nags and nags and nags until she blows up, then she vomits out hurtful words and past mistakes and present flaws. She is also worried that there might be termites infesting the house because of all the piles of newspapers. It is very destructive to the morale and harmony of the house.

I think that my parents’ problems are equally detrimental, though I feel more the effects of the mother’s “hairdryer” treatment. I feel like I need to do something about this, but I don’t want to get caught in between and earn the wrath of both parents. And I don’t know how to make them see that they have a real problem within themselves, and not because it’s someone else’s fault that the problem exists.

As I write this now, there is calm after the storm. Or should I say, calm before the next storm?

Comments on: "Why are you writing to Aunt Agony?" (1)

  1. “And I don’t know how to make them see that they have a real problem within themselves, and not because it’s someone else’s fault that the problem exists”.
    Here’s my 2 pence:

    Your parents don’t have a problem, because they don’t think they have a problem.Ergo, no problem exists for them. So, you probably won’t be able to make them see. If they DO think they have a problem, only they themselves have the answer to any change.

    If no problem exists for them, no problem can be recognised. Therefore there is no problem to be changed.

    If any problem exists, you can’t change it, only they can change their behaviour. Since there is no problem that they see, they won’t change it.

    IMO trying to change someone else is a waste of time… the only thing that you can do is to change your response to them or to what they do, so that what they do doesn’t bother you to the extent you feel you want to change it.

    IMO, thinking you can or trying to change your parents is a complete waste of energy and time. Far better to use the energy to change yourself.. that’s the only area ever where we are guaranteed success, because that’s the only thing we can really control.

    sulz: you hit the nail on the head. but how do self change to help the situation? does the changes in self even help this problem? currently all self do whenever this happens to run to the room. or leave home for college sooner.

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