This is a parent’s opinion on a child’s freedom which appeared in today’s paper.
Don’t give children too much freedom
I read with dismay the case of the 21-year-old student who went missing at a shopping mall in Ipoh (The Star, Oct 26).
My daughter is 15 and used to pester my husband and me to grant her the freedom to roam the malls with her friends.
On the one hand, we do not wish to deprive her of her right to enjoy herself in the company of friends. On the other, we fear the worst; she may be tricked by bad hats, drugged, raped or much worse.
Besides exercising control over children’s behaviour and the company they keep, parents of teenagers should also keep abreast of the latest craze, singers, movie stars, fashion so that they can share these with their children.
Call me old-fashioned but I believe that children should not be given too much freedom to go out on their own. It’s up to parents to nurture their young minds so that when the time is right they are able to differentiate between right and wrong in a mature manner.
This is sulz’s reply from a child’s perspective.
I understand your point of view, having read these newspaper reports about girls being kidnapped, raped, drugged and whatnot by sinister characters in our society.
In my opinion, it is not the age you should judge to grant freedom upon, but rather the level of the individual’s maturity. You mentioned the report of the missing 21-year-old girl. She is six years older than your daughter and yet she does not display the maturity that should come with her age or a sense of being streetwise for her to go missing (assuming that she did not fake her disappearance or voluntarily vanished and is genuinely in danger). Your daughter could be young, but if she has a good head between her shoulders, she would be less likely to fall prey to tricksters than her peers of lesser maturity.
I also realise that misfortune can happen to the best of us, no matter how aware or prepared we are. Mollycoddling can only do so much; it doesn’t mean that when your daughter is granted more freedom when she is older she is less susceptible to being conned. Haven’t we read of reports about far older women being raped or kidnapped?
It is quite commendable that you are of the opinion that parents should find common ground with their teenage children by getting acquainted with the fads and trends so associated with their age. However, no matter how well informed you are of Paris Hilton’s latest beau or the lyrics to Justin Timberlake’s SexyBack, a parent cannot be a substitute for peer companionship. Your daughter still needs to cultivate relationships with friends her own age for her social development and building her self-esteem.
My parents allowed me to go out with my friends unchaperoned ever since I was thirteen. I admit I was really far from mature then. I met up with some Internet chat friends once. I was lucky, however, that they are really nice guys whom I had managed to keep in touch for several years after that meeting. But I also had the common sense to have two girlfriends to come with me to meet the guys in a crowded shopping mall.
My parents never said no whenever I wanted to go out, as long as I don’t spend excessively and come back by dinner time. On special occasions like parties I am allowed to come back by midnight the latest. I know my parents are a little worried whenever I go out at night, but they never stop me. They always made sure, of course, of who I was going out with and I must leave my friends’ handphone numbers if they have any (I didn’t have one then).
This is an issue of maturity and a parent’s ability to let the child go. Being overprotective of your child can somewhat hinder the process of maturity.
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Comments on: "Are parents today too overprotective of their children?" (104)
I was a victim of overprotective parents, I would say… They refused to let me work in my schooling days during the holidays for fear I would fall into bad company. Hence, it was only after I graduated that I started my first job while my other friends had more work experience than I. It was embarassing to me then, and I hate my parents for not letting me work during the holidays.
I agree that age should not be the determining factor when deciding whether or not to allow more freedom for your child. Maturity is most important. Too much pampering from parents most often than not results in lower maturity level in their kids.
So what to do? Parents should be ready to let their kids go when the time comes. Freedom can be given to their kids in small quantities and gradually. Train your kids up to be responsible first as freedom and responsibility go hand-in-hand.
It’s a cruel world we’re living in, it’s not like the safe place we have at home and I understand the desire of parents to keep their children safe, but parents and children should come to a compromise – parents give freedom and children be responsible.
sulz: so well said. however, sometimes children of overprotective parents are mature in spite of their parents, in which case the parents have been fretting over nothing, as their child is perfectly more than ready to have their freedom. it is these sort of children you have to feel a bit for because they become victims of their parents’ insecurities and lack of faith in their children’s judgment, which is an unconscious lack of faith in their own upbringing methods, it seems.
I am 13 years old and my parents are very overprotective. They don’t allow me to go to the mall/movies with friends that they have met and know very well, they don’t allow me to hang out after school, or go to dances other than the ones at my school, they don’t let me date, or hang out for 2/3 days in a row. They think I should stay more at home. I need to fix this, and they won’t talk about it, since whenever I ask why I can’t do these things they just yell at me even more. I think you should let your daughter go to the mall, it’s safe, and you have to learn to let go or when you die one day, she will go through a crisis because you won’t let her go.
sulz: must be such a pain having to stay at home all the time, huh? don’t think your parents is ready to negotiate with you, and perhaps you aren’t as mature as you think. don’t take this the wrong way, but sometimes it’s true that with youth comes naivete, and the only way to get over this is with time. meanwhile, self’s suggestion is be selective with the social events you want to go so that you won’t miss out on the ones that matter most. and try your best to prove to your parents that you are mature enough to handle yourself when you are out unchaperoned.
but you’re right, your parents have to learn to let go, and they will – hopefully soon. good luck!
I am 14 years old and i never ever get the freedom i deserve. I am never allowed to go to friends houses, hang out with friends at theatres, mall, dances etc. I mean i havent been to the theatres in months. They always say no and im always afraid to ask why because of the fact that they might yell at me. Some people think that its not bad because they aren’t the one suffering. I am never allowed anywhere at all!! Only when my parents go to their friends or families house on weekeneds that i come along . I feel so left out and its really embarassing to always make an excuse not to go somewhere when my friends invite me out. What should I do???
sulz: well, maybe you should start asking why, for starters. try asking when they are in a good mood and not just after they refuse your request to go out with your friends. or ask one parent at each occasion, so they can’t “gang up” and tell you all the reasons on the earth why. talk with them calmly – let your parents know how much you would like to go out with your friends and that you feel you are ready to do that. negotiate some curfew rules if they’re reluctant, for instance going out only on weekends and no more than 4 hours each outing. confide in a friend, see if she can rope her mother in to talk to your parents – a lot of parents are less wary of the company their children keep after talking with the child’s friend’s parents.
good luck!
hey im a boy and yet 13 years old my parents wont let me play games that i want to play like gears of war and halo2 they are rated m for mature but they dont have a lot of cursing but they let me watch R rated films i can watch wut ever i want just cant play wut eva i want my parents wont lwt me go to the mall either movies,or friends house im afraid to nagg em because thy will just get upsite and ground me what should i do
sulz: perhaps the reason they won’t allow such games is because of their perception of it. a lot of boys like games with the violent element and you’re probably one of them too, which is absolutely normal. they’re afraid these elements may influence you and it couldwithout you realising it. if your parents are up to it, you could ask them to try the game for themselves so they can judge the suitability of the game more fairly. if they don’t play computer games, try printing reviews of the game for them to read so they can have a better idea of it.
you could try asking your dad to bring you and your friend out to the mall. you can go with your friend alone when at the mall while your dad walks around by himself. that way you get a bit of freedom and at the same time your parents can be close enough so they won’t worry about you. good luck!
Hello,
I am a 17 yr old female in my junior year of High School. I have kept a B average over my school years, have never been truant, held a job for 4 years (from ages 12-16), hold a new job now, and worked hard to get my license. Also, I am without any traffic violations or accidents after a year and a half of driving. I always give my parents the phone numbers to friends houses and pick up my cell phone as long as the battery hasn’t run out. I have aspirations of getting my AA degree and eventually attending a university. In my opinion, though it may be one-sided, is that I have proven myself as a hard worker and trustworthy person. However, my parents, who came from the baby-boomer era are incredibly overprotective. They almost insist on driving me to any function with my friends to “check it out” even after meeting them and some of their parents. If I don’t pick up my cell phone even once when I am out they leave threatening messages (of restrictions and such) and I get grounded. (Ex: Was at a friends house and was upstairs – left my phone downstairs and missed the call. Now I cannot drive until June. Three months for missing a call? Mind you, I called them back.) I will admit to doing a few “degenerate” things like drinking, and smoking. Neither being on a regular basis or in a dangerous environment. I realize that both activities are damaging, but lets compare: my sipping a mixer during a game of friendly poker with good friends – or some teens who get entirely crazy and half-kill themselves being too drunk or high to notice. I must say I’ve never lost myself like that. Also, I am allowed to have a boyfriend but am not allowed to hug, cuddle with,(meaning one of his arms around my shoulder in plain view)or kiss (on the cheek) said boyfriend in my parents presence unless I want to get yelled at. Let’s not mention the constant reminder of how I am “so immature and niave,” and I’ll never make it in the “real world.” I also have no privacy. My mom will actually stand outside my door and listen to my phone conversations or get into my e-mail, myspace, msn etc. and try to read everything and anything she can. I won’t pretend I know everything or much for that matter, but this seems like some psychological insecurity of theirs. They refuse to let me make my own choices and begin to move out as a young adult. My mom is actually convinced that I am not legally an adult until I’m 21 because that is the “drinking age.” I don’t understand her logic, but I must say this lose-lose situation is becoming very tedious. Ever since about 14 this dictatorship has been tightening the rules and hindering everything from my social life to personal self worth… Any tips or ideas as to what is causing these insecurities or perhaps how to help fix this dysfunction?
sulz: hi kelsey. must admit your parents sound like one of the worse cases of overprotectiveness. you’re right, it is very much to do with their insecurity. exactly what it is, can’t say because self don’t know them personally, but a hunch that they’re worried you will grow too independent and leave them, as some children do. honestly, don’t know how you can so patiently put up with their unreasonable rules! but then again, in malaysia, parents like yours are not entirely uncommon, especially with the rich kids.
the only thing can come up with is that start planning for a college life as far away as possible from your hometown. if possible do not let your parents know of this intention because they may try to make you change your mind. this may sound deceiving but for your sake, a little discretion is necessary. talking to them is an option, but do not see any possibility of them seeing any reasoning that goes against their beliefs. pick up skills that will make independent life easier – learn to cook, do the laundry, etc. save up money from the job you’re having just in case your parents refuse to finance your education. education loans may be easily available but you might need extra cash for unexpected expenditure.
confide in an adult you can trust about this as well, perhaps a better solution can be thought up. best of luck to you.
Thank you ^.^
sulz: no problem. good luck!
i am a 12 year old girl. and yet i have no freedom whatsoever! im not allowed to go to he mall, movies, friends houses, ETC, without adult supervision! i think that i should be abill to, at least have a cell phone. witch i dont have, but am getting for my 13 birthday. anyway..
i think that parents these days are way overprotective! its not fare that almost all my friends can do things without parents… and yet… i cant! its no fare! i always have to ask “is your mom going” in order to get my mom to even think about it! i think that i should have more freedom then i now do! i hate having to go places and be sceen with my mom, when every one else is with thier friends! if you feel the same way… plz share you feelings with me!
sulz: you expressed a lot about how you feel being in your situation, but have you stopped to think from your parents’ point of view? imagine if you have a pet puppy which is very young and not properly trained to go out on its own (unlike other older trained dogs who know how to come home after being let out). would you allow it to go out alone if it wants a walk? wouldn’t you worry it would be knocked down by a car, kidnapped, etc etc? that’s possibly how your parents feel about you, which is why your freedom is so limited.
you have to think maturely about the situation and act so, and perhaps your parents will consider allowing you going out with your friends alone soon.
but hang in there, your 13th birthday isn’t too far off…
I am 14 and going to soon be a freshman in a private high school. Like many of the people above, I have absolutely no freedom.
Throughout this whole summer, I’ve only gone to two people’s houses. I don’t have a cell phone and am not allowed to talk on the phone or see my friends outside of school except for projects or on a very very rare occasion.
I live alone with my dad, as my mom died when I was 8 years old, and my brother just moved away from college.
Having no friends to talk to, and being completely isolated at home, not even allowed to take walks by myself or even get the newspaper without my dad watching me, is driving me crazy. I agree that maturity should be the determining factor for when to let your kids be freer, and I personally think I am far more mature than other kids in my grade, yet I can’t do anything.
I know my dad is trying to protect me, but by protecting me, he’s actually hurting my social life. One of the two times I went out this summer, I went to a movie with my friends, and I didn’t even know where to pay for the ticket, because I never go to the theatres!
I am very socially inexperienced, and would like this to change. I have gotten straight A’s and took high school math in 7th grade. When I ask my dad why I am confined to the house so much, he answers because it is not necessary for me to waste time and money with friends. He says when he was a kid he rarely went out, so why should I. I would greatly appreciate any comment or suggestion of yours. Thanks a lot!
sulz: you sound like a mature girl for your age, so perhaps you can plan a heart-to-heart talk with your dad about this. the problem is that your dad has lost perspective. he’s thinking of your needs from his own experience as a teenager, while not taking into regard that you are not him and you’re living in a different generation.
however, the fact that your mother’s gone means that your dad is probably feeling the pressure of parenting responsibilities all by himself. he may not know how to communicate with you as well as a mother might in this circumstance, and the only way he knows how is to keep his eye on you as much as he can.
talk to him. choose the right time to do it. if you’re close to your brother, get his support, or the support of another adult that your dad is familiar with. tell him in a calm and rational manner what you want, how much of it you’d like, and what compromise can you both come to to make it possible. be prepared with answers to his possible counter-argument on the reasons you shouldn’t be out so much.
your dad may not respond the first time. he may get defensive, uncooperative or angry, but don’t give up. try talking to him again, but don’t be whiny or too aggressive. sometimes patience goes a long way – if nothing works at the moment, only time can change that.
good luck. 🙂
I’m 13, 14 in November and I also have overprotective parents. Lets say I wanted to go to a school game with my friends, my parents say no. Or if I want to hang out with my friends at the mall, my parents say no. But it’s not so much a case of not being able to go, but if a parent is going to be present. They think I should be out if an adult isn’t going to be present. I’m mature for my age because I’m an only child and didn’t have a lot of child interaction when I was young. We live in a pretty safe neighborhood and all of my friends, guys or girls, are responsible. I won’t be able to go out parent un-attended until highschool which is another year. What should I do? I am so ready just to start screaming in their face because of this ridiculous rule. My friends don’t have this problem? I feel so bad when I can’t be there and everyone has a good time. My parents say that I can go if I bring one of them along and I don’t want to because it’ll ruin it for everyone else I’m with. What should I say? Please help me. I don’t know what to do.
sulz: thank you for sharing. please read previous advice have given others. hope it will help!
William
okay, im 15 and i’ve been to 4 birthdays in my life and i’ve never been alone with any of my friends…ever..i really don’t know what to do. i ask permission i talk about my friends from time to time. And yet nothing. I want to get close to girls it is just really hard for me when im not allowed to go anywhere
sulz: thank you for sharing. please read previous advice have given others. hope it will help!
i dont think parents realise that by being over protective most of the time everything and anything that the parent says to do or not to do is challenged by their child. probably a parents nightmare i would imagine. but it really does just make the child just want to rebel against what they have to say. like me right now i think almost everything my parents say about how i shouldnt do something or how not to do something goes out one ear and the other. i dont care anymore because what are the uses of those things u say to me if you are never goin to let me apply them.
TO PARENTS everywhere if you hav taught your child right from wrong, you have to give them a chance to prove themselves to you or else your opinion WILL fade and they’ll create their own along with some of their knuckle head friends as well
sulz: thank you for sharing.
I am 17 years old and my parents give me some freedom but not alot. If it has to be involved in school, then they’ll let my participate. Basically anything academic is passable for them. However, if I want to hang out with my friends or go to the movies, they say no. I dont understand it. I dont even have a cellphone. My dad thinks that having a cellphone will make me become dumber. That is one of the main reasons why I cant even go any place – there is no means of connection or communication for them to reach me at. I am an honor roll student involved in clubs and outside/community service. I have been in school for 12 years and I am graduating this upcoming year. I know how to control myself. I hardly use the house phone now as it is. Just when my dad decided to give my sisters and I cellphones on the family plan, he changed his mind. My dad is very old fashioned and no matter what I try to do to convince him, he doesnt budge. I feel like I am missing out on life because I cant experience anything unless my dad lets me. I understand that parents must worry but forestalling your child from growing up is going to hurt them emotionally,mentally and socially. In a society today, its more dangerous not to have a cell phone because there would be no way to be contacted or contact someone in an emergency.
sulz: thank you for sharing.
Are you really frustrated by your overprotective parents? Do you want to confront them once and for all and hopefully end this? Come on our morning news show and discuss. Email me at morning_show@hotmail.com and maybe we can help you!
Hi there.
I’m 17, and I’ll be 18 in less than a month. My parents are ok with me going out during the day, but after dark, unless I’m coming back from school, are a big no-no. My mum believes that if I go out after dark, I WILL, no question, be mugged/raped/murdered, and she takes her knowledge from the local newspaper.
I feel that at my age, I should be doing what other people my age do, i.e. see each other. I spend my evenings in my room on msn, and to be honest, it gets kind of drab when I know that the friends I want to chat with are out, or round each other’s houses having fun and socialising. My parents did say a few years ago that when I’m 18, I can do whatever I want. But recently, they said this isn’t the case, so I think they’re procrastinating about letting me be independent, as it means the first step of flying the nest so to speak. My mum seems to have a hard time dealing with the fact that I will one day move out.
One of my friends says I should rebel against them and go out even if they say no, but I don’t think I should go about it that way as it just shows I’m reckless and irresponsible. I want to be able to sit them down and talk about what I want, but I’ve tried that before and it really is like talking to a brick wall. I feel that they lack faith in me, and it has a profound effect on me, such as I think I can’t do anything right without my mum there. I have to go to the hospital regularly to have check-ups on my jaw, and she can’t trust me to be able to make the appointment, she has to pretend to be me on the phone. Anything like that, I apparently can’t do myself.
I worry about how I will be when I DO eventually get a place of my own. With no prior independence, how would I cope?
One thing that does confuse me is that both my parents want me to get a part-time job. A lot of jobs require me to work after dark, and my mum has told me I can’t do this, thus I can’t get a job. I feel I should be able to have more freedom before I can get a job.
Sorry to go on so much, but it felt good to rant ^^
sulz: thank you for sharing!
I agree with the fact that parents are doing nothing more than wrapping up their children in cotton wool. In the Land of Oz, this has signalled the end of an era that our parents held dear during their childhood; playing outside with friends and making up games (or elaborating on a well known one, like Chasey or Dodgeball) and exploring and doing stupid, messy things and getting hurt, which was absolutely normal for any Aussie. Since we have to be aware of things like strangers, rapists, peds and thieves, we can’t really go out unless it was bound inside a city or a building with a lot of people or something involving a screen (read: computers and telly) contributing to other childhood problems. Also, less playing in the dirt has led to rising allergic reactions in younger kids and newborn babies which is another problem.
sulz: how was your childhood? did you run around the kampung a lot? 😛 huh, thought allergies were genetic and not ‘cos they didn’t play in dirt often enough!
In Malaysia, I actually lived in one of those flat apartments (where the building’s name starts with Block “A”, “B”, etc), but I did run around with friends and cooked the stuff we found and built “houses” out of cut bamboo, broken bits of a cupboard and cardboard and rope and metal poles and found some ubi kayu, until we found out that the stuff growing in the Hutan Kecil (as we called the place) belonged to a friend’s mother! Woah, jahatnya… 😛 I remember the time when I got an oversize skateboard and ride it down a small grassy hill behind the flat and do the same thing after flattening a big cardboard box 😀
sulz: haha, sounds like you had as much fun as the next kampung boy. as for self, lived in a residential area, but there was a friend to hang out with after school every day. we’d go to the shops, buy sweets, then walk to the playground to eat them. if not, we’d play lego and dress-up in her house.
I have13 year old stepson who never ever leaves the house he has no friends. Every time he my get one it only lasts for about a week because he treats them so badly. I think kids these days get everything handed to them and they don’t have to work for anything I have seen it in my work and my husband is the worst of all. He spends 1000.00 on his kids at x-mas and when his son does something wrong he buys him something.
sulz: thank you for sharing.
Another sulz post I was unaware of until now. I think you said it perfectly sulz. I’ve nothing to offer. Consider my typical verbose style and that should tell you something.
Excellent response. It should be quoted for truth. I say this as a parent, and as a kid who was basically on the streets by 14.
sulz: thank you, what a wonderful compliment! 😀 i think you’d change your mind if you have a little girl, though! (though it’s not fair that we should feel less worried about sons than we do daughters.)
Interesting perspective =] Agree with what you said about parents treating kids according to the level of maturity – and not age, as most of em seem to do. So, it actually depends on the kids themselves. Some people form strong opinions very early in life. Others need more guidance.
As far as bossing the kids around is concerned, parents should go for the indirect way of handling their kids. If you go around saying “No means no” well…the kid is likely to listen to you for the timebeing, lock themself in their room, stamp their feet and call you names behind your back.
Next day it’s business as usual, lol.
You know it’s scientifically proven that the more you restrict someone from something, the more they are inclined to do it.
I’d make a great parent, lmao
sulz: is it? interesting! i know i like to spite people when they tell me no sometimes. 😛 i think maturity can be cultivated when young, so parents who mollycoddle their kids probably won’t raise very mature kids or street-savvy ones. reading is another good way to help kids to mature.
i’m sure you would! 😉
Too much freedom without the proper up-bringing is like a pilot without certification. Kids today are too spoiled by technology and by pushover parents who are ruled by their children. Why is it that the high-school drop-out rate is increasing in the millenium?
I believe in respect and honesty. If parents teach their children right from wrong and provide consequence for actions using tough-love, many kids today would not be pregnant, dead on drug overdoses, juvenile delinquents and outcasts to society. What happened to a time when you didn’t have to bring knives to school?
Parents are absolutely 100% responsible on the onset of their children’s well-being. If they are pushovers, they are to blame for their child/teens outcomes later in life!
Parents – grow some cahoneys and don’t let your kids rule you – and teens – stop acting like the bad-asses you’re not!
sulz: thanks for your perspective.
wow you really r old fashioned, hey y is it fair for you bak in your teenagers life to hang out and have fun while teenagers these days hve to stay home and stare at ur face for 24 hours per day, thts just weird, n btw i thnk u watch too much TV rather than going out and witnessing the real life, n btw we hve the right to speak, so let us speak out and at least we cud some sense out of u guys, btw the majority in this blog rght hre are teenagers and kids, one comments from u type of parents cn sparks the whole nations of kids and teenagers in here, first u are paranoid, second you are scared of your own shadows and third you are too ignorant to accept tdays generation of teenagers life. well guess u parents are still old fashioned….
I’m 14 & my parents (not my dad, but my mother) are EXTREMELY overprotective. I’m not allowed to step outside unless one of them is with me (even though our front yard is fenced in), because they think i’ll get abducted. I’m not allowed to see friends unless they are there. I’m not allowed to open the blinds in my bedroom because “There are weirdos out there”. They moniter everything I do on the internet because they think i’ll talk to pedophiles in chatrooms, meet them and get abducted or worse. They won’t let me walk home, even though it’s a five-minute walk and i’d be with a group of 7-8 friends, because “You can get abducted anywhere and it doesn’t matter who you’re with”. My mother insists on driving me to and from school every day. It’s a five-second walk to the gate from the car, and my mother sits there, watching me like a hawk. They don’t trust me AT ALL. I just want to be a normal girl, but they won’t let me.
I tell them this all the time, but they just yell and scream at me. And what’s worse, is that because of all this, I’m EXTREMELY paranoid. I rarely go out (because my mother & I don’t get along), but when I do, I feel like i’ll get kidnapped, even though my mother is right next to me.
What she doesn’t realise is that this is RUINING my life ! What am I supposed to do ?! They won’t listen to me !
Hi, I’m 15, I live in a small community of just about 5000. Everybody knows everybody. My mother is a lawyer, so everyone knows me as she and her partner in law are the only two in town. Anyway, I just wanted to say, that out of my group of friends, who are not at all the type who dont do well in school, or care about their education, or are the type of people who adults look down on as bad influences! Out of my group of friends (about 30…. like I said small town) I am one of two who isnt allowed out on school nights. My parents are awesome parents when it comes to everything else, will not allow it!
PARENTS!!! WE GO TO SCHOOL FOR SIX HOURS A DAY GIVE OR TAKE A COUPLE DEPENDING ON WHERE WE LIVE/GO TO SCHOOL, WE COME HOME, DO AN HOUR OF HOMEWORK, GO TO AN EXTRA CIRRICULAR ACTIVITY, HAVE SUPPER AND WHATNOT. WHAT, MAY I ASK IS THE BENIFIT, OF STAYING IN FROM LETS SAY 6 ONWARDS AND PLAYING ON COMPUTER, WATCHING TV OR A MOVIE THAN GOING OUTDOORS WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND GETTING SOME FRESH AIR! AND MAYBE SOME EXERCISE. DOES ANYBODY UNDERSTAND WHERE I AM COMING FROM!? We will spend the first 20 or so years of our lives going to school and what do you expect us to think about it 24-7! NO! Granted, we get weekends off, but on nice evenings, when all of your friends are outside your house, waiting for you to come out, and you have to come out and say , “my mom and dad wont let me”. And they go off *In a small community where everyone knows everyone, where it only takes 5 minutes to get home, where there are no kidnappers, rapists, or freaks.* having a grand old time. while I am kept inside, to spend the evening doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
Hi I’m 14 years old and my parents are getting on my nerves.I can only go out with my friends once a week.I can’t go to the beach with my friends unless there’s an adult with us.I can go to the movies with my friends but only with the friends my parents know well.I can’t go to the movies if it start at 8pm or later , I’m also not allowed to go downtown with my friends untill I’m 16 , eventhough my friends who are younger then my are still allowed.I can’t date cause they think I’m to young.And every time I try to ask why I’m not allowed I get yelled at.I think it’s so unfair and when I get angry because I’m not allowed to go out they get even more angry at me.I’m starting to go CRAZY!!!!!
Trust me mine is way worse. I can’t even go to the beach with a friend if there is parent supervision!
Hi,I’m a thirteen year-old whose parents won’t even let me play video games. They say I’ll get bad habits and neglect my studies. This is honestly a load of croc because I don’t think an Ultima game made in 1982 is exactly “Grand Theft Auto”. To be truthful, video games are no diffrent than movies or books, and if parents are to high and mighty to admit that they shaped America during the 80’s, well, that’s just their issue to deal with.To make a long story short, yelling at your 13 year-old kid just because he wants to program games will only get you a hernia.
Hiya.James again.I think that it is a absolute load of crud that I can’t even play video games that much. Are my stupid,slack jawed yokel parents even aware that in their very own house, on their computer, is a freak’n genious that will make them filthy rich one day? NO!NO!NO!NO!NO! Their much too busy cooping him up in his room reading a stupid book of law(Ps. i’m only thirteen, why would i have to read a book for college?):(.My stupid hilbilly parents are forgetting that their son has a reading level of 12.9, when he was in the 4th grade,has been in the gifted and talented organization since he was in SECOND grade, and has won a poetry contest against Adults and is now a finalist in a essay competition.(could a simple videogame-playing dummy do that?;) The real bull*@&% is that they say I don’t read enough.I thing that reading two 350-page Brian Jacques books in 5 days is enough reading for one week. The most hurtful part is that they couldn,t even admit that they were wrong or even congradulate me, after all I became a genious for them.=( Summary: LET YOUR TEEN HAVE A LITTLE FUN ONCE IN A WHILE, THEY CAN GET EXORCISE AND WORK OFF STRESS! ps.i’m thirteen and still a genious!
You hear it all the time but my parents are greatly overprotective! Maybe it’s because of my brother who does all the gangster stuff. I’m 12, my birthdays passed. I’m not aloud next door to my friends house, I’m not allowed to cross the road, I’m not allowed to a local park near my house (which I think is kind of creepy)!
A love to skateboard bu I’m pretty much limited to my backyard, I promised my dad that I’ll wear pads all the time, or at least a helmet. My dad wants me to be real smart but he has no idea what I can achieve! My school grades are higher than most people in my class. I don’t have a mobile-phone, I don’t even have my own room! My friend has really low school grades (I’ve seen his reports) but I’ll compare the difference.
ME FRIEND
Xbox Xbox 360 and Xbox
$209 New Skateboard 2 $220 Skateboard
PS2 Nintendo Wii
A computer A Laptop
Nerd Title Cool Title
Imprisoned Freedom
A house 😉 Rents
I don’t want a fancy life, I just want some freedom. WHAT SHOULD I DO
You are comparing what stuff you have as a basis for how your parents are overprotective? I don’t think that shows in any way that you are mature enough……..
I am living in Beverly Hills I have a horrrible mental illness in which I talk to myself. I space out horribly. My parents use this as an excuse to yell at me all the time. They won’t let me do the following:
1. Go to an R movie unless it sucks but when a friend shows me it sometimes I like it and sometimes I don’t, my parents it seems want me to think badly of all the R rated movies for no reason
2. Go hang out with friends at all. In fact they won’t let me even go anywhere and everytime I leave their room other than school They give me five hour lectures that are about why I shouldn’t go out. Every time I go out a get back home safe. Then the proceed to lecture me about something compleetely random like my election project , then they lecture me abuot five more things for fifteen HOURS!
3. I am almost 14 now I turn it on Feb 15
4. Finally my parents after lecturing try to distract me by giving me the same dinner made by my mother five nights in a row. Then after I say I won’t sneak out they from 5:30 lecture em until 7:30 and then say its too late.
Saturday and sunday I wake up, and BOOM another lecture on George Bush. Then they show me beatles music and pretend its “new and hip” which its not and I HATE old music like the Beatles because thats all anyone ever lets me listen to so I download it which I like Three Days Grace is new, then my mom tell me horrible jokes all day
6.What can I do THANK YOU FOR ANY INFO YOUR CAN GIVE ME
Hi I am just wondering if you can help me?
i rescently got a boyfriend about a month and i want to tell them but they would be soo much against the fact that i have a boyfriend. they just dont like to sit and listen…
i hate keeping this from them but what should i do?
i am 18 years old and in their eyes i am still their baby and they dont wat me in a relationship…
help me please!!!
hi, my names lizz and i am 15. Would love to start this by saying my parents are super over protective. They always say i have a boy problem…… there for i am not allowed to do anything that involves boys…….. (going to movies,going to friends house(when there parents are home)) NOTHING!! even if my parents are sitting right there its still a big deal, i am just simiply noy allowed to be around boys….which tottaly sucks cuz i mean, im 15 ,,, and i am very super careful about my body. I would never go out and have sex, or drink or smoke or anything that can harm me,, and my parents know that yet they dont really think i am going to make the right choices… but i know i will because i am very super amazing with peer pressure and i know whats right for me and whats wronge and i will always be careful to choose the right thing to do…… but when i get older and are faced with problems i have never been faced with before … then what am i going to do?! (ex. say i am 18 and my bf is trying to presure me into having sex….. i have never been alone with a boy and i dont think my parents will let me be until i move out…… so , ya i know not to do it … but my parent have turned me into suck a wild child that i feel i should…… ) i dont know… i just feel really viallated because my parents do things that tottaly invated my life .. ( ex. taking my phone away and texting me friends pretending to be me so they can figure something out that they dont know.. or doing the same with my myspace…. they log on on my name and comment with my friends back and forth…. pretending to be me.. ) what do i do?!?! i am a really good kid… i have never had anything below a b on my report cards since i have been in school..( and i am currently a freshman in highschool) and my parents know school is super important to me and that i would never do anything to screw up my chance of going to college…….. so why are they treating me like a baby? they always restrict so much stuff from me…. like my parents dont let my do ANYTHING with my bestfriend haley anymore because my mom doesnt like here mom….. and haley is very afended by that and i can fell us growing apart…….. i have so many more things that they do that are very unfair but i would like to see what you have to say to what i told you so far….. please help me! how do i solve this imposible problem?!
im 17 years old and im going to graduate high school in june. my parents are the pinnacle of everything described above. ive never been to the movies or mall wiithout them. they dont let me do anything. they took the computer out of my room and put it in the middle of the kitchen so they can see what im doing 24/7. ive never been to a friends house or a party. whenever im on aim my mother screams on me to get off, not even because its aim, but its because im communicating with another human being without her knowing what im talking about. my father drops me off and picks me up wherever i go. i cant text or anything. my parents are destroying me. all they do is teach me to fear the world. i want to get away, as far away form them as i possibly can but i dont know if i can be on my own because ive always been so sheltered. i dont even know how to take the bus. i always tell my mother shes treating me like a child but she doesnt care. all she wants to do is run my life because she odesnt have a life of her own. help me.
I have just the same problem and it’s worse! I don’t even have friends I don’t go to school cause my mum does not know what i’m doing! I’m all ways at home at home at home! I’ts like my life is all ways the same i just live it up every day hoping that SOMEDAY it will change and be beautiful and i too don’t know how to use the bus and i don’t even know the roads yet! WHAT DO I DO! HELP!!
my parents are HELLAAAAA old-fashioned. and paranoid. andd crazy. and unreasonable. and rude. they’re all about you listen to me and what you need to say doesnt matter because im always right. no joke. theres a difference between trying to be a good parent and being straight up –like a cop or something.
all my friends are driving, and they get so much more freedom which adds to the suckiness of my situation. =\
i think my parents are the worst. i’m 16, a junior in high school. NOT the best grades at all. i dont do drugs.. any of that tuff. but i know my limits and i’m not a bad kid at all. swear on that.
-i cant be on the fone w/ a boy in front of them its really akward
-i cant be out w/o them knowing where im going (obviously) BUT they need to know the following:
WHO is gonna take me there and back. (if its a boy, NO. if its a girl, NO unless they know her and i are close. my friends PARENT has to take me, fucken gay. PARENT, im a fucken junior in high school. believe that.)
even IF im with my friend and their parent, if im not home when i say ill be home, they still get mad.
even IF i call them and let them know where im at and its late like 7pm is late -___________- to them. my god. they still get mad.
i cant be on the fone after 10. sometimes even 9 30. they TAKE my fone.
NO TEXTING. they disabled it. -___-
no pictures w/ boys is ever ok.
there no level of trust for me andd i havent done anything to get them to think this way.
my mom even asked if i had my period. fucken bullshit!
i’m always getting into trouble because “what-if”s .. like what IF he took you somewhere and did something blah blah blah…
im so fucken sick of this shit. ive ran away for a night but they still dont realize what theyre doing.
I relate with so many of you on here. I’m freaking 18 and a Senior in high school and my parents are as controlling as ever….even worse. I have never done drugs, I don’t get invited to parties and the few that I do get invited to have the parents there and nothing bad happens, still a virgin, I don’t drink….the most I ever had was a girly drink and it was a sip, with less than 5% alcohol. So I don’t think that counts.
In my life time I have actually spent the night at two people’s house, one of them multiple times back in elementary school, because my parents won’t let me hang out or spend the night in a neighborhood that doesn’t meet their standards.
I’ve officially been in another teen car’s twice, to come home from somewhere that my parents dropped me off and both those times were only this past school year.
I had a babysitter (and i have a younger sister) until i was…14? Maybe 15, the only high light to that was she’s like and older sister but they left us her care when they’d go out for a night even when I was that old. I’m also not trusted when I cook on the stove and constantly told my father that I’m doing something wrong.
I am complained to about some things i like to mix together when I eat, I can’t even eat in PEACE. I haven’t ever been aloud to have a job either my entire life.
As for the icing on the cake, I have a boyfriend and we’re interracial. I’ve had to keep it a secret…they found out in the first month of us dating and i was told to stop it. I tried too break up and talk to him…but we couldn’t do it. So we stayed quiet about it and it stayed at school. Today is 7 months for us and friday someone called my house and ratted us out so I have to break up with him and my parents don’t trust me at all now. Did I mention in 7 months we’ve only been alone 1 hour? I’m not joking about that, and we only got that because we got together a summer program. So we’ve never even had a real date. They have threatened to not send me to the school of my choice.
I’m at the end of my rope, I’m forcing us to get professional help because all that happens is I get cut off and words put in my mouth when I try to defend my actions and beliefs. My father told me he blames for choices because of public school, the choice they made to send me to, my friends, and the internet.
If they don’t lighten up, I am seriously thinking of leaving as soon as graduation happens and living with my aunt, (who is on my side about my boyfriend and how their too controlling) just getting a basic job. I don’t even want their money for college at this rate, just makes me feel like they can hold that over my head to do whatever they want.
Ohh my goodness! And here I thought I would never meet someone with pretty much the same parents,and incredibly absurd restrictions as me. Though, I don’t think it’s nice to say that you have those restrictions, it’s nice to know that I’m not the only soul on earth who is being punished by these over the edge control minds of our parents.
I identify myself greatly with the girls above me, in pretty much every aspect. I wish I could write more, but, it’s cruelty itself to talk about the restrictions. I understand that parents do it to keep it safe, outside the real world.
But honestly, what is going to happen when they are gone? Shouldn’t we be allowed to get an icre cream from the supermarket next door,3 minutes away,without your father creeping behind you just to make sure you are not meeting with the boyfriend who you are not allowed to talk to because he’s not good enough,even when he is ranked number one in the school?
I just wish you all the best,and remember, don’t do anything foolish just to stick it to your parents. Just take it for a while,and when free, enjoy it, but don’t over do it. And keep yourself safe!
Hugs and kisses,wishing you the best
yep we both have similar problem about love here, well im stll w my gf, n yea we r stll hvng secret relationship, i wonder wt cud b so hard about them jst to gve me a chance n try to accept my gf. ITS SO FUCKING WEIRD AND HOW THEY R SO NARROWED DWN
Hi, I’m 19, a college student (living AT college), and a good student. I’d love to say that I’m an independent adult, since that’s pretty much expected at my age, but I’m afraid my parent’s can’t seem to have it that way. When I was young, my father was constantly on the road, trying to make the best living he could. Meanwhile, my mom was taking care of my sister and me at home. Now, you’ll need to know that my dad came from the cities, and my mom came from a small town in northern MN. Perhaps that’s why, throughout my childhood, she’s seemed a little overprotective and old-fashioned. Eventually, my dad transferred within the company, and began a more normal work schedule. That might have made my mom feel like she was loosing some connection with me, since I began spending time with my father, now that he was finally around. In any case, my mom seemed bent on fighting any move toward independence. When I was in middle school, I could only visit friends if my mom had met them and their mom. I could understand this in elementary, and maybe 6th grade, but it was becoming embarrassing in 8th grade, when I my friends would invite me over, and I’d have to say “No, my mom won’t let me. She doesn’t know your parents well enough.” After my Freshman year of high school, she finally let me go bowling with friends at a local bowling alley without her having to be there. Eventually, my dad convinced her to give me some space. She complied, but then switched tactics. She would twist things and try to confuse situations so she could justify stepping in. She would make promises that would mean absolutely nothing if she changed her mind later. At one point, before 9th grade, I purchased a video game console with my own money, that I had earned doing odd jobs. Once I had it, my mom placed it under extremely strict rules. I could only play it for 30 minutes a day, that’s it. I’d understand it if she had limited other things similarly, but things like TV went unlimited, and so it seemed like a power play. I thought when I had a job, was 18, and started getting ready for college she would back down on controlling my life and making my decisions for me, but I was wrong. She continued to keep her hand in my life, and when my dad tried to step in, she walked all over him. She even told my sister and me that we should treat her like an idol, since that’s what her mom expected. When I was in the final stages of leaving for college, i needed to get a bank account in my own name, and only my own name. She wanted me to stay with the junior checking account that I couldn’t even close without her permission. I tried to be firm with her about it, and say that it was time to let go, and she just threatened to throw me out of the house. Fortunately, my friend at school had seen this coming (he had witnessed my family up close for years), and had convinced his mom to let me stay there until college, if the need arose. I told my mom so, and she backed down. Now, she’s holding my college tuition over my head. Recently, she said that if I landed a summer job, that she and my dad would help me get a car so I could drive to that job. Now, I’ve landed a very good summer job, and she’s refusing to admit to her promise. I’m not even asking her to buy the whole car! Just to help me find it, and she won’t even do that because she doesn’t think I deserve it, even though I have a clear need for it! looks like i’ll have to turn down my job offer. How can a parent get away with this when I’m 19!
My Mom and Dad say i shouldnt be allowed to talk to someoe they know completly on ps3 network? it doesnt make sense! why? if they have questions, they can just walk over to their house cause they live on the same street!!!! wth!!!!!!
im 11 and my mom is somewhat overprotective she wont let me have sleepovers even if my friends liek 5 houses away she never let me do fireworks only my dad let me do a roman cndle yesterday on new years eve and she wont let me go to places where kids stay and parents go she is sooo not fair she just tells me to tell my friends to come over here like its soo fun wohoos ..NOT! she is so mean
I’m Crystal, i am 15 years old, I too have over protective parents. My parents let me go to the mall, hang out with my friends, stay after school, and a few more things. However before I go to places they alwasy seem to say, “be careful, don’t be hanging around any boys.” or something to the affect. They also go through my phone, and say that,”it is a privlege to have a cell phone and not a right.” Which I absolutely agree with. Yet, it seems like they do not have trust in me. My parents also check my laptop for the sites I go on. I do have a myspace and facebook. My parents only allow me to have a facebook, but they constantly check my facebook to make sure that everything is okay. By connstantly I mean more then once a day. My parents also go onto our celll phone company’s records for my calls and text messages. If they find anyone out of state they threaten to call them and demand to know who they are. I only text two people from different states one is my best guy friend(of which I have met online.) The other my boyfriend. They are very old fashioned, so they do not get online dating or online friends, nothing of the sorts with them. I am aware of all the dangers of online friends, and i do not give out my number unless i have talked to them a lot. I have also been told that I am VERY mature for my age.
I am 17, and me and this 14 year-old girl, Taylor, really like each other, but her parents wont let us be together because I am a senior and she is a freshman. I didn’t plan for this to happen, I just sorta fell in love with her. But at first Taylor didnt care, and we went out for about a week, until her father caught her talking to me. She dumped me yesterday because her parents went psycho on her and shes too afraid of getting caught to continue taking the risk of dating me. It’s tearing me apart. We’ve been talking for a long time, and i just cant give up. ill do anything to be able to be with her, but i dont know what to do. she wont date me secretly anymore, and i dont want to make things worse for her (shes in a HEAP of trouble) by talking to her parents. her father even threatened to send her to a different school if she kept talking to me. her parents have never even met me. i just dont know what to do, this girl really means the world to me and i would never take advantage of her. just because im a senior doesnt mean im a pig. her parents are being prejudiced and stereotypical of seniors and its just not right. i should be given the chance to date her.
what should i do?
Hi, I am Joanne and I’m 16?! My parents barely lets me out of the housee. When ever i mention the word “hang out” my parents say noo. They said that I should stay home and study. I have been keeping a 90 average ever since i was in sixth grade. I can’t even play my handballs with my friends ( my favorite sport) . I could go to movies (when they’re in a good mood), mall (only with my best friend), bowling (never!) , eating ( only for speacial occusions like birthdays). Otherwise, they say there is no reason for seeing your friends. I’m always trapped at home “studying”, bored out of mind. They say that I’m too wild ?? I’m barely allowed out like onces in a month or less . When ever my friends ask me to hang out, I always have to make up excusees. And now, my friends never ask me to hang out anymore because I always say no. It’s kind of embrassing. I barely ask to go out with my friends, because I always know the answer is NO ! and they always yell at me for the randomest reasons. I just want someone to talk to when i’m sad or happy. But now I don’t have any close friends.
OMG we r the same, like literally my parents n ur parents r the same, goshh how this world are too small for parents to act so stupidly on teenagers like us eh, hmm dnt worry i feel you and yes it hurts n it sucks bt again we hve to fight fr wat we want
My parents are overprotective as well. I am 16 years old & throughout those 16 years I have not once gotten in trouble. I am only allowed to go out with either my parents, family members & with one friend of mine they know well. I just want to be able to go out once in while. I don’t understand why I am not allowed if I do well in school & am always well behaved. They tell me they trust me, but that they do not trust other people. I believe if they actually trusted me they would let me out. I try to explain to them I need to go out & enjoy myself while I can, but they never listen.
I am 11, and my best friend(since i was born) has invited me to go to Edmonton with her this saturday! but my parents are to over protective when it comes to going out of the city especially my dad. im alllowed to go to friends houses, mall, theatres and all that but last time when I went to banff with her, I had to beg my mom. I wanna go so bad! edmonton is only 3 hours away and we’re only going for 2 days. her mom is coming along with some other Adults! my mom is Friends with my best friends mom…thats how we met but my mom still worried!!!!! I mean, like, Whats Gonna Happen to me?? we’re going to a Hotel and everything. but how do i convince my mom to not worry and let me go???
Hi my name is Gabriella, I’m 18 years old few months away from being 19 & like all the girls above me my parents is overprotective especially my mother she thinks everything is gna harm me. When I was 14 she gave me a little freedom jus with one friend! As I grew into 15 yrs old I met this boy who I told her
About & it became ww3 & eventually insisTing I brought him home & they accepted him he was 17 at the time & I was allowed to go erywhere wid him buh I wasn’t allowed to have friends then & he also “protected” me from everyone its been 3 yrs & me & him have broken up & my mother doesn’t let me out wid different friends I can only hang out wid one & once a month, the other day I went to the gym at 630 told her ill be home 930 & she flipped cuz I got home 8!!! Minz late!!!! I ask to go out she says no I spend alllllll day with her from mon to sun I think I deserve atleast one day to myself JUST ONE! Please can u just give me some advice.
I am 16 and my parents will not let me go out. I know I live in Egypt and that men here think less of women but I think it is safer than America. I use to be terrified to go into Walmart by myself. But here people will verbally harass you or follow you but other than that nothing ever happens.
Today my friends from the grade above me wanted to go see the new Robin Hood movie. I was invited but my parents said they do not know the kids or their parents. My parents are never going to meet them which mean I am never going to be able to hang out with these people. Plus these people are older and there was going to be a huge group, nothing is going to happen. They keep telling me “We are doing what is best for you”
What am I supossed to do??? I am going to be 18 in two years and legally an adult and that seems to mean nothing to my parents…..
And it is not like I am immature. I never lie to my parents and I tell them everything. I do not drink or smoke shesha or cigarrates so I do not understand this lack of trust…..
PLEASE help me understand what is going on inside my parents heads.
I am 15 and my parents are overprotective. It’s not as if they are extremely protective over me but very much. My parents have told me before that they know I’m very responsible but yet they don’t let me do some things. About 2 years ago, I had a long discussion about having a boyfriend with my mom. She set all of these boundaries about having a boyfriend. Even to this day I’m not allowed to date. They also don’t allow me to go to parties. Even if I haven’t indicated there will be alcohol. My curfew is 6:30, all year round. I’m not allowed to hang out at boys houses, even if they’re just a friend. The most recent thing I have encountered is that they don’t allow me to get things pierced. I already have my nose pierced but I wanted a lip piercing. I had wrote them a 3 page essay on why I should get the piercing/pros/cons/etc but it’s still a no.
My grades aren’t always the best, but who’s ever are? I even had a summer job last year and they told my mom I had done really well. I had cleaned over 2 years of filing up in 2 days. I had also got them up to date on documents.
I save my money and even bought a laptop but they still don’t trust me and won’t let me do certain things.
My parents are overprotective.
I have a very close friend and her parents are way too overprotective. Whenever I come come over to her house, they let me stay as long as i like, but when she comes to my house it’s a whole different story, they always tell her that she can only stay for a night or two and then go back home. i don”t get it it’s not fair, i mean they don’t let her do anything, and when it comes to her boyfriend they let him come to her house but won’t let her go to his house, why is that? She’s 22 years old and is about to be 23 in a couple of months. Her parents still treat her like a teenager, they even keep her home all day everyday, unless she goes with then. My parents are protective too, but they don’t give me this problem, when she tries to talk to them about a situation they won’t listen to her, instead they cut her off and when she gets in trouble for something that she didn’t do or that she had nothing to do with, they won’t let her explain what really happened and call her a liar and then turn around and get mad at me. They don’t like her boyriend either and he did nothing to them, he’s a good guy too. It seems like they’ll never trust her for nothing and she’s an adult. Why are they so overprotective?
fuck i hate my mum shes such a f****** c***!!!!!!!!!!!! i want her to die! shes preventing me from going to see my boyfriend!! she wont let me out with my friends and is so overprotective. i want to get emancipated.. thats actually how much i hat her. i dont think she even realises how immensely i hate her f****** guts. she lies to me all the time and is such a b**** all the time. she doesnt let me go to parties and im in year 9! shes so embarassing all the time and sent emails to all my teachers saying i was an emotional wreck and that i needed help.. FUCK HER! i want her to die in a deep dark hole and rot there until the pressure of the earth crushes her corpse to nothing.
FUCK HER
its actually so weird how most people here are girls.. like WTF! its so sexist like we cant protect ourselves! my brothers already have more freedom than me and their two years younger!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
😦
I’m another one of those girls but I feel ya. I’m an only child so I can’t relate to your siblings but I’ve seen my parents treat close friend’s kids with more freedom than me which really ticks me off ’cause I’ve never had a real childhood as my parents were tracking my every, and I me EVERY, move.
my advice is to ask for permission, and if they say no do it anyways. next time dont even ask. just take the punishments. tell them that if they give you more freedom youll listen to their other more reasonable laws
My parents don’t allow me to rollerskate, when I file my nails they tell me to “be careful” because I’ll, “cut myself.”
‘Nuff said.
I’m 13 and I love my parents to death but they aree overprotective my sister is 17 almost practically an adult and she’s really mature but they still don’t let her out. It really sucks because I love football and I love playing it. My parents would never let me out to go to the nearby park with my freinds and let me be a kid. Now they want me to try out for football and yell at me but Im not that confident about my skills I’m sure I would be better if I can go out and play. Now I have nothing to do but stay inside and watch tv and go on the computer and the effect of that is I have horrible vision. They never take me anywhere. But thankfully I have dumbells n workout when I’m bored which is practically everyday. But if it wasn’t for that I’m sure I’d be obese.. Now back to the topic. I agree with trusting your kid on how mature they are. I’ll admit I’m not that mature but you can’t get me to do anything, I actually know how to say no and not stupid enough to do anything.. Well, stupid. I think parents should really lighten up a little. I need to be a kid and some fresh air and cardio exercise or something.
im 19 year old girl. collage student n i live with my parents. im dont have any freinds here coz im nt living in my own country so i started a relationship my mom ws ok with having boyfriend bt recently she found out that im havig sexual relationship with my boyfriend so now she doesnt allow me to go out n also asking me to broke up with him.. she doesnt understand that i really love him n this is my life she has to give me some space that i can decide on my own she is putting me through too much pressure in 1 hand i love her n dont want to disappoint her in d other hand i love my boyfriend n he loves me too. after that i told my bf that we need to break up bt he cried n i ws so touched hw can i do that? what should i do???
i cant sleep at nites i cant do anything…i so scared…
hey we both r talking the same language here, im going thru the same thing. my parents caught my hvng PDA w m gf in my room secretly even though we dd nothing, they caught me redhanded, if ur bf tells u to do secret relationship jst do so, n u nt far for ur age, ur 19 jst wait few mre years , get loads of cash n get ur ass out of the house, Im still 15 n yes i hve to manage to still meet my gf secretly n yes even my mom told me to brake up w my gf bt hey listen to wat u want, they cant tell u who they dnt want u to love, LOVE IS UR RGHT pliz dnt gve up on ur poor bf, pliz he needs u n u need him, just stick around bt mke sre u guys dnt get caught, plan it ahead of time n im sre ill b fine, if u hve any questions to how i manage to do so well u cn always reply me
Hi I’m 13 in June and I am Gifted acording to the results from my IQ test. I think I suffer from depression and anxiety and most of all peer pressure. My reasons for this is that my parents won’t let me go out with friends to the shops , movies , parties , sleepovers , birthday parties etc.
I find this unfair as my friends will always come bragging in my face in where they went such as westfield (a big shopping centre the biggest in London)and how they met super fit guys and stuff. They also ask me to come , they start off with easy stuff like would you like to come to my house tomorrow after school and of course I have to make an excuse the latest being I have to attend a funeral seeing as my uncle died.
I don’t like the idea of lieing but its the only way around as if I tell the truth my friends will be off me more than they are already.
Recentely I have moved to a new group of friends wishing they will be simiular to me or at least experience the same events as me. Theese friends are nicer but they are still aloud to go out which I find the most annoying. I’m quite short and look like a 9/10 year old compared to other 13 and 12 year olds. (but so does my new friends ) Even though I am really responsible and I will say Is even more mature than some adults. So why won’t my parents let me go out ?
I asked them polietly several of times but they just don’t seem to budge. I don’t wont to upset my parents and think they have failed in life totally as they have brought up a disrespectful daughter but that does’t mean I have to suffer does it ?
I really wish I can go out but as I said my parents are too over protective. I go out with them and my 2 brothers and sister but thats all really. My parents are consistantely shouting at me telling me what a fool I am and a “follow follow sheep” – My dads favourite term refering to me copying my friends.
My parents won’t even let me go with friends from my primary let alone people i just met last year. All they say is that I don’t know them and They might have someone in their family that will rape you and stupid stuff. But the problem is , is that they don’t want to know them ! The other day one of my friends wanted my parents to meet her parents but my mum told me to make up a excuse to why I cannot come.
What can I do ? I am completely lost even for a brainbox
p.s my dad says if I carry on like this I canot get into Uni as he will not pay for me and I will get “Dumb”
p.p.s my mum says to look at my friends in 2 -3 years time all having babies in prison or worse as they were doing “Rubbish”
p.p.p.s I think they are emotionally abusing me am I right ?
I need urgent help I’m thinking of running away I really cannot continue life like this It’s interfering with my school work and my social life is down infact i have NO SOCIAL LIFE !
Thankyou for your time and patients ! xx
HI…
my name is sarah im 17, and im still in high school(12th grader)
and i play sports (soccor,swim). Its my last year in high school, i thought being a senior at your high school was the greatest thing in the world, get to go out more, hang out with your friends, go on dates, go to the movie theaters, have dinner with your friend at applebeas, or maybe just even go over to your friends house and spend the night and watch scary movies you know teen life, but….
i cant doo annnyy of that!!! its horrrable to me, it makes me feel like i dont have friends. I live with my mom and my step dad, my old brother lived with us but he moved away, i also have my 2 step brothers and my lil newborn sister. My parent work full time, mom is RN and my step dad is a fighter fire. When they’re working they always ask me nicely can u take care of Zoe, after a long day of yelling and cuzzing at me, so there i am saying yes ill take care of zoe. Everytime I wanna stay after school for and hour or two to hang out at at the teen center they got or maybe hang out with this guy i like after skool and go eat with him across the street to carlo’s jr. my paents never let me do anything, i always have good grades in School A’s and B’s i also get student of the month certificates, hopefull i can get rewarded from my parents to at least go out hang out for a lil bit, butt noo My step would start yelling at me and my mom would join in and using bad language at me, i remember this one tiime, i had practice and ended at 6 and the guy i like ended his practice at the same time, and i had my phone i kept calling my parents to pick up cuz it was getting late on a friday night, the guy i still like waited for me untill one of my guardian noticed i need to be picked up at a certain time, so i stay there for a longgg time till 8:30ish, once that time hit, my mom came to the parking lot, screaming at me infront of my friends from my soccor team, the guy who stayed there with me, and i dont know who else was there but they all heard how my mom treated me that night she yelled and cursed at me saying im sick in tired of this sarah, You never call me to pick up you this isnt your time sarah ur on my time, after a 30min yelling fest stop i showed her the calling and voicemails i left her, she said ohh i for got to change it loud instead of viberate, soo she takes my phone away cuz im not trust worthy for it, plus my mom put a tracking device on my phone and she put this setting on my phone so that my phone turns off or cant make calls at 7:30pm, soo i was stuck with out a phone that night. i wish my mom can just cool sometimes i feel like she stresses out on work and puts the stress on my, my stepp dad does the same to me too. i Wish they werent OVER dramatically protective of me. I just want some frreedom thats all i wantt….to hang out and be free at times…
Thank U for your time..:)
My parents are very overprotective. I am very mature and do very well in school. My parents know this but still insist that I’m too young to do things that people 3 years younger then me can do! I just feel like they aren’t ever going to let me grow up and I’m never really going to get a normal lifestyle!
I am 13 years old and my parents are so overprotective. They don’t want me to use internet without any protection. They don’t even want me going online and chatting with friends ( I do that, though they don’t know ). Websites like Facebook have been blocked, and I can’t have any peace when they’re around. Even right now my mom’s telling me to get off!
They always tell me that over the internet people can spoil you, do bad stuff to you, and make you turn into the wrong direction. They think I’m too immature to understand that!
I know a lot about the internet, things which they don’t expect me to know. But trying to explain would only cause an argument. I once told my mom that I knew what porn was, (like all teenagers do these days) and she was like, ” How do you know those things?! ” .
I’m not a porn addictive though, trust me. I’m a nice person.
I do my studies well and I get good grades. Isn’t that enough for them to give me a bit of freedom?
This is really pissing me off.
Someone tell me what to do!!
i have the same problems.
Sucks isn’t it.
yes i got similar problem too, man i really hate my parents rght nw
To be redundant, my dad is over protective too. Wanting to know where I am every second of every day. It’s suffocating.
The thing that is unbearable is being denied access to resources and support. I’m 19 and a lesbian. My dad is homophobic, conservative republican. He has told me repeatedly that being gay “just wasn’t right” and voted against all LGBT rights. I’m in my third year of college (trying to graduating as soon as possible to get away) and I live at home to be able to afford college. I can’t see or try to go out to seek support from gays and lesbians and be social for fear that I kicked out and cannot afford to support myself and go to college (I don’t qualify for financial aid nor will my dad help me. I work some minimum wage job to afford 4000$ tuition a semester). To know that he doesn’t accept people like me, confined because of his protection, and also financial support, is just unbearable. Not too long ago, it pushed me to think of suicidal thoughts. I sought help for that elsewhere and trying to stay positive and get better.
I still have 14 months until graduation. I don’t know if I’ll come out because I can’t not be out anymore. It’s almost literally killing me inside. I’m still debating and have basically froze my dad out of any emotion or words from me. I don’t know what will happen and I’m concerned about financial support.
I have taken after a grandmother, my father’s mother (who I never knew because she died before I was born). Her parents were overprotective and eventually she ran away from their home in Sweden, traveled, and immigrated to the US. I’m following the same path. As soon as graduate college, I’m immigrating to South Korea to be an English teacher. Half-way around the world again to get away.
Gwaadd!! all i see here is a bunch of UNHAPPY people.. who dnt knw anything other then cribbing..
I mean stop cursing ur parents!!
They LOVE you n thats the reason they put restrictions would’nt even care If they had no concerns..
Just be a lil more sensible.. and Everything shall follow(including FREEDOM!!)
I am 13 years old i don’t live with my mother only my father and hes very overprotective i would ask him to go movies with my friends and he would find some excuse ooooo…. how you getting there, how you getting back home, how about i rent the movie you want to watch…. NO i dont think so.i live in the VI. saint thomas. our music is calypso and we call our dances JAMS, this would be the talk so u goin jam , i would hav to walk away beca if i sa no . oooooooooooo boy u bag up you cant leave your house only place you can go is home,school,church,home school,church. AND i feel i should be aloud to go out with my friends or family around my age because not all the time i wants to be with my sibling.
WHAT CAN I DO OR SAY????.
Hey, I’m 15 years old. I’m from Australia, and much like everyone who has commented, my parents are controlling. I must admit, after reading a few of these comments, I’ve begun to look at my situation a little differently. However, I would like your advice on my situation.
My parents do allow me to go out and such, however they have to drop me off. Personally, I have no problem with that, but sometimes they can’t, and even after I provide them with a clear and concise plan of how I will get there and when they can pick me up, they still refuse. And say I want to go to a friends house, I wouldnt be allowed unless there was a parent present, which is odd since I stay at home alone.
Another thing is msn and Facebook etc, well me and my parents have argued and I had taken up both without their permission. After they caught me – 3 times over – I gave Facebook up. The issue here is that I need msn because most of out teacher/student communication takes place over that. I has already suggested that they watch me on msn, but still they say no.
Another thing that has recently come up, is my freedom after adulthood. For a while, I have had a passion for motorbikes, this isn’t a state secret either, and my dad has also owned one. My parents on the other hand, say no. I agreed, saying that when I make my living, I shall fund my own. Again, they say no, I know that after I become an adult, these discisions will become my own. What worries me, is that they still think that they will own me, even after I have started living my own life. The subject of moving out it taboo in our family, although it is a step I desperately want.
I am not allowed to date, and/or have boy friends. My personality on the other hand, is more complimentary with guys rather than girls. Don’t get me wrong! I love my girlfriends, but I always wanted that balance.
I positive thing though, is that my career choice – medical officer in the army – was heavily disputed, until recently my parents gave up, I think they realized how much i wanted it – it’s either that, or they think I won’t make it. Who knows, atleast it isnt a constant battle evertime I bring it up! 🙂
Anyways, thank you for reading.
Tc
– Deeba
i am a 14 year old female, my mom or dad never let me do anything..i try to go chill with my friends that live close to me but their always bothering me to come back & stuff it gets annoying. I wanted to play basketball but i could never go practice at the gym because i can barely go places..im getting suffocated? HELP.
Hi I’m asha, I’m only 14 years old, my parents don’t allow me to go out with my best friend or even my childhood friend? Even my parents know my friends parents, they still don’t allowed :(. I promised to my parents that I’ll do well in my exams, after few weeks I got my result did very well too. My father kept is promise, my friend planned and I planned to go out this June to times square kuala lumpur. When I asked my parents they didn’t want me to go out. When I told my friends this problem they said that I’m child abuse 😦 I really feel like killing myself
im 16 years old and i live with my 82 year old grandma and she never lets me do anyththing unless its church related.for example a school dance i cant go to because she believes drinking goes on which is not true.plus i cant do any extrcurriculum activies either and it is a must to have some to be accepted into college.i am also in the process of taking ap classes my upcoming junior year which means ill need to attend ap sessioons on the weekend, and she already said i cant go. she also says that i cant do anything or go anywhere if im living in her hous.basically im missing my whole teenage years.i havent even had my hair done before and she doesnt like me to wash my own hair. the bad part about this is im not a bad kid at all.ive never been suspended or wrote up ever. i really need to know what i can do to convince her to let me do things
I am a victim of over protective parents. I am almost 18 now, still I need to beg my parents if I want to go out with my friends and most of time I am not even granted the permission.
I understand what could happen to a young girl in this cruel w
I am a 17 year old girl. I am victim of over protective parents. My parents are pretty cool in some ways, I think they believe that family life is enough for one and they do everything they can make our family life better, one thing they don’t get it it’s NOT enough. Teenagers want to hang out with their friends. If I want to go somewhere I would have to beg them and most of the times I wouldnt even granted the permission. They say that they love me and wants me to be safe, but they also need to understand that I’m not a kid anymore and I do understand what’s the worst that can happen. I’m not stupid enough to be drugged or something.
Parents think that they know everything but sadly they don’t. They talk about how we have any idea how the outside world and how will we ever know unless we are allowed to go and see for ourselves?! I’m grateful for what my parents do for me, but still this sucks and as the result I just wanna get out of here. I just want to get over with my A levels and go to hostel which I know again would be a great deal for my parents, they would do anything to make me stay and live here. Well let’s see what happens.
I am tired of living life by their rules, I want to make my own. I know I might sound like a troubled kid but it’s not like planning to do drugs or anything I do know my limits and where to draw to the line, but parents just don’t get it.
I say protection is good, overprotection is not. It sucks!!
I feel you. It sucks that you can’t even go out when you’re almost old enough to live on your own. You have the right to your autonomy; you’re practically a woman. You seem rational enough to make decisions about your own personal life.
I am a 20-year-old woman who lives at home and commutes to university. I don’t have a car, so I ride my bike everywhere except to work (simply because it’s too far away. And in that case, I’ll get a ride or borrow my mom’s car). I am supremely dedicated to my education and my budding career. I don’t drink, smoke, or do drugs. I am a vegetarian. I am very conscious about why I do things (why I dress a certain way, why I behave a certain way, why I think a certain way) and am a strong critical thinker. I genuinely think I make good choices.
My mom is very overprotective of me. Some examples:
1) She forbids me to have sex with my partner (I do it anyway). I have clearly defined what sex means to me, and what I expect to come from it. In other words, I understand that my partner and I will break up in a year or two, but I don’t see sex as something that binds us and it doesn’t make me any more attached to him than I was before we had sex. I also am on the pill, and those very rare times when we have intercourse, we use condoms and withdrawal.
2) A few weeks ago, she didn’t let me go outside because it was “too hot”. It was 94 degrees (F). She said, “What kind of mother would I be if I let my daughter leave the house today?”
3) She still talks to me in a baby voice (in a high pitched voice, calling me “her baby”). It’s gross and it feels disrespectful.
4) She won’t let me take my own measurements. She insists on doing it for me. I don’t want people touching my body unless under very certain circumstances (like sex or doctor’s appointments).
5) I am positive that I never want to have children. I have been considering sterilization for about a year and see it as something I will want in five years or so, once I start making enough money to pay for it. She doesn’t take me seriously and insists that I will change my mind. In her defense, there are very few people who take me seriously when I say that I don’t want to be a mother.
These are just a few examples. I have heard a lot of people say that overprotective parents are not confident in their parenting skills and are trying to overcompensate now. I’d say that is very accurate because whenever I do something successful, she’ll say, “You must have had a very good mother! 😉 😉 ;)” Ugh.
I’m 11 and my parents are too overprotective. I can’t even go to a sleepover with my cousins also can’t go to far away field trips. I’m the only person not going. I’m miserable. I’d rather die than having lots of rules to never letting me do anything. HATE MY LIFE.
Don’t say you hate your life, you’re only 11.I agree that you should be allowed on field trips and sleeping over your cousins but in this world today you don’t know what is goin to happen.
I think you are definitely a mom, look Mrs. we teenagers are growing and we too know whats right and wrong, how about you, are you a god, and do u know evverything tht going on rght now. Its simple, gettng kidnapped or raped doesnt matter in wat age, it cud happen to u too if its gnna happen, stop using the reason tht we do not know wats going on out ther, u guys are so narrowed dwn tht u get paranoid n think the ur rght n other people r wrong well lets put it this way. U r walking alone, sizzling hot in wat ur wearing, then came across a kid on a tricycle licking a lollipop, just u two are standing across each other, then came a van full of “BAD GUYS” n they got out, i bet u, they will kidnapp u n nt the kid, look its easy, u thnk tht u r rght well its the fact tht ur wrong, we wnt learn wats out ther wout us being out ther am i right ?
I am a single mother of a 19 year old daughter and 11 year old son. For years my son has been in the same school and had the same friends. I have tried on numerous occasions to get to know the parents in my son’s class, and after 4 years finally got my son’s best friends parents to talk to me! Overall I have been unsuccessful at really getting to know any of these parents. I know it is not due to my own lack of social skill as I was always told that I am a very outgoing yet down to earth person. Certainly nothing to fear or turn a nose down to. I also lead a very decent life, and have raised my children very well.
My son’s best friend has not attended one of his birthday’s, and his parents continually refuse to allow him to come over for play days at our home, not sleepovers but simple play days.They also do not have the decency to respond to any invitation or return any call I have made to them, and I have only placed two calls to them in 4 years! They did however allow me to drive their son to a school function one day when they were not available to take him themselves. I offered and this they did accept! I also treated both my son and theirs to McDonalds for lunch that day (with their consent to do so). I am just at a loss as to why they do not allow their son to get together with my son outside of school. I have tried on many occasions to give them the opportunity to get to know me first and I them, but they clearly do not want to make an effort! I totally get that parents must take precautions, as I am a very cautious parent myself, but there is a fine line between cautious and just plain paranoid, anti-social and down right rude! It isn’t any wonder to me why kids these days turn to video games and technology for company when certain parents isolate them from their peers outside of school, and are so anti-social with other parents. Just what exactly are they teaching their children by this?
My son’s best friend is always telling my son that he wants to come over and hang out, and when they try to make plans to get together his parents say no, so no it has always been! Our children get along and like each other, so it’s not like they can prevent that. It’s just sad and frustrating to me, my son and I’m sure their son that his parents are this way. What angers me the most is that they don’t even have the common courtesy to return a phone call or respond to an invitation! I can handle rejection to an extent, but I am not so good at dealing with people that have no common courtesy.
My son’s birthday is coming up and he wants me to at least send out another invitation to his best friend, even tho’ I don’t want to bother anymore. I’m torn about it because I want to appease my son, yet I’m fed up with these parents! Any suggestions?
After reading many of the comments on here from kids of overprotective parents I can see how sad these kids are, and what future problems may incur by being raised this way. Being a parent myself, and a single parent all I can think is what a tragedy it is that adults have taken their role as a parent to such extremes! It is one thing to protect our children, a totally other thing to instill such warped views of the world and social interaction on them!!!!
Thank You for understanding us, Sir or Miss ? yes we kids these days need our parents to understand tht each step we took outside out house does not lead to death or destructions, we are outsde our house because we are ready to become part of the nature where we all have to blend in together and learn things one by one. for example, you would understand how to buy a beverage from a counter if u never been outside right, well there are worse case bt things like this needs to b thought. When we kids speak out about rights and freedom its nt the revolution we r leading bt its the questions tht we r asking n need some answers. Yes i am 15 years old n i cn see tht my parents act certain ways because they want me safe, well its simple, pliz give us chances, we kids do not come from hollywood where evvrything will go bad or gud depends on how the story goes, we kids these days come from the real world, we learn n studied the real world by going out and have fun, its jst nt fair, u guys treating us like this, well is it bcauz u guys r jealous about ur childhood bfre tht u cudnt go out anywhere u want or u guy really want to protect us tht u frgot, u too r once a teenager n had gone thru the same age. HMM all i want to say is tht PARENTS PLIZ GO HAVE A TALK W UR KIDS BCAUZ WE KIDS NOW Y WE ASK N Y WE DO SUCH THNGS
There’s also some real brats on here cursing their parents inappropriately and whining over stupid things. If you kids want respect…give respect!!!!
im 14 and live with my grandma. she lets me go to my friends houses rarely and she never lets me sleep over any of my friends houses. she also wont let me go anywhere with other peope like to darian lake. i get that she wants to protect me from getting hurt but i cant do anything! because of her i barley get to see my boyfriend and i hate that. she wont even let me go walking anywhere! i just want to have more freedom cause im not a little kid anymore.
I think parents aren’t protective enough of their children,especially teenagers. I noticed over the past couple of years, parents have been becoming lazy over the care of their kids. Now I’m not saying every family is that way, BUT it is shocking to see what is becoming of the m
odern family today.I believe parents need to step up to the plate.In today’s society yOu want to emphasis right from wrong because in our generations there is no room for right anymore.Being a new mom, I feel that we need to protect out kids more.
are you a mom ? well im speaking on teenagers behalf here, sorry for my lack of grammar but i wud do my best to explain. Look its simple, protecting teenagers and cutting or limiting things dwn wud only mke it worse. My parents are over protective and really stuck up n believe that they are always right, bt hey thts parents and look wat have become of me, I started to revolt more and fight for wat i want, we teenagers know wat we wants, U parents over protecting us like we dnt hve any rghts to do anythng we want well hw about u guys, yall parents thnk its a gud idea to bcome a useless stalker when theres really nothing going on, DONT BLAMe TDAYS GENERATION, BLAME YOURSELF FOR NOT TRYNG TO FIT IN TDAYS GENERATION, WE KIDS TDAY DO NOT HURT ANYBODY, BT WITH PARENTS LIKE U GUYS (OVERPROTECTIVE), U PARENTS TEND TO MAKE FUSS OUT OF A LITTLE ANT, NOW WHO IS SHOWING THE LACK OF IMMATURITY HERE, KIDS THESE DAYS OR PARENTS THESE DAYS ?????
I’m a 16, almost 17, year old girl and I suffer from overprotective parents too. I’m not allowed having an account on any social netowrking sites, I’m not allowed having guys as friends never mind dating, I’m not allowed out after dark (it gets dark at 6:30 pm here), I’m not allowed going out at all without calling my parents every half hour, I’m not allowed going to to any large gatherings that my parents suspect may be a party, I’m not allowed getting any piercings whatsoever, my mom still has to approve all of my clothing before I buy it, etc. I’ve always kept an A average in school, I’m graduating a year early, I’ve rarely ever proven myself untrustworthy, and I live in a small town in an extremely safe neighbourhood. Whenever I even mention moving out in a year and a bit my mom screams at me and grounds me. It seems like my parents fear letting me go so they’re trying to pretend I’m not growing up. I think freedom is an extremely important thing for teenagers to have. I think that i’d be a lot more independent, mature girl with lots of self esteem if my parents let go a lot earlier. I fear that when I do go out on my own I’m not going to have the skills and independence to live. I envy all my friends who are allowed to explore and make mistakes while their parents are around to help them patch things up and learn from it.
hi, my name is sky and im 16. i live with my mom and my brother. well, i agree that PARENT(S) ARE TOO OVERPROTECTIVE! all my life, i have never been allowed to go out with friends at all. NO exceptions. When i was young i didnt really care cuz my friends werent allowed to go out anyways. but i was still not allowed to go to sleepovers or anything. when i entered 5th & 6th grade, i continued to ask my mom to go out but she always said no. in 7th grade i understood i wasnt ever allowed to go out. to this day- i dont even bother asking my mom to go out because i know her answer. my brother is a senior in hi school and 17,, yet he cant go out. i hate this. does anyone know how it feels for friends to invite you to places but your answer never changes? i tried rebelling but whats the point? im gonna get in trouble but its not im really punished. its not like im going anywhere anyways! all the time.. i imagine what if my dad was still around? would his parenting be any different? im a sophmore(grade 10), i have all A’s, and im a positive influence. My mom will even make excuses for me n my brother not to go anywhere. I hate being at home because i would rather be at school. i can really express myself there. school is my escape… so i hate the summer, and spring breaks, and weekends.. cuz id rather be at school with friends.. another thing is i like guys! they will ask me out but i have to explain to them my situation and its horrible! i daydream all the time about how my life would be different if i was allowed to go out.
Advice for Parents?? please dont do this to your children. the only thing your doing is making them resent you. you are gonna have a bad relationship with your kids if you do this. let them have freedom, they deserve it. our generation is so different from yours. we are mature and we know right from wrong. if my mom didnt do this to me then we would actully get along. all i know is, when i turn 18–no matter what–im leaving home. i dont care where ill be, as long as im not here. all i want is freedom, but looks like i have to wait 2 more years..
I’m in the same situation as you. I’m not allowed to hang out with any friends. I like going to school because it is the only time I can be with my friends. I hate the summer and any school breaks because I feel so alone o hate new years especially because all my friends have a sleepover and I’m never allowed to go so I feel really left out. Every time my friends ask me to hang out I always say no and make excuses ( because I feel too embarased to tell them that I’m not aloud) and this is hurting the relationship I have with my friends. I’m 16 by the way.
hey OMG we both are the same, I cant even go out with my friends at all within my spring, summer or new years day, In japan when it comes to new years, teenagers wud go out n hve sleepover n stuff. MEANWHILE i hve to stay in my house, watch bunch of movies in my living room w my family, cnt hve my own tme alone in my room with door shut bcauz they thnk im jacking off or sth n yea they dnt trust me at all, i am wkrng hard to gain their trust lke skwl grades n all, n i wud sayy its hgher than wat they r xpectng bt they stll treat me lke i hve no friends n they treat me like im living bak in their time whch has no games, hangiing out n stuff, i wud say my parents r out of date n really paranoid
Hello, I’m 14 and I have no social life. I lived with ny mom but eversince my parents got back together, my dad has been nothing but overprotective. I was allowed to have sleepovers and hang at the mall but not anymore with my dad around. I believe I’m extremely mature for my age. Most people think I’m 16 or 17 when they meet me because of how mature I am. I help my parents in house work, I babysit my younger siblings all the time for their convinience so they can go out and have fun together, but they neve do anything back for me.
So then, I started something different. I started to look from their perspective and just told myself that just waiting until I’m a little older. I tried to calmy talk to my dad about it, but he chooses to ignore me and never listens. Then, one day when I asked to have a sleepover ( waiting for a miracle )and he said he wasn’t going to let me until I was 18. That’s crazy. Dont you think I’ll be a little too old for sleepovers? Or simply just too busy? My friends invite me to sleepovers all the time and to hang out with them but I always have to lie and say I’m grounded, or busy. I just moved here to a new school and have made a ton of friends but I’m not going to get close to them if we never get the chance to know eachother outside of school?
Them being so overprotective kills me inside. They’ve made me come to the conclusion that sneaking out and doing everything behind their back is my only solution. I’ve snuck out plenty of times and I feel bad, but they should have some understanding and maybe listen to what I have to say. I’m also not as open and honest as I used to be with my mom, when I lived with her alone. I used to tell her everything but now we dont talk as much and I think its the result of my dads overprotectivess coming in.
I know I’m not doing the right thing, but I dont know what else to do. Any suggestions? /:
hi im Rachael…im actually 12 years old and gonna be 13 soon. I think my parents are overprotective…well, my mom more. i get so desperate that i do things behind their backs. but if they ask or anything, i would just tell them the truth and wont care if they yell at me. its just the same shit im hearing about them not wanting me to do this or that. I have a facebook and instagram. they don’t know that I have one and they don’t want any personal information on any socializing networks. they don’t like me going to the mall without an adult and bringing 50bucks to spend. and my mom gets all pissed off when i face time with my best friend. they don’t let me have a phone!!! they don’t let me go the park with my friend too!! my best friend gets to do almost everything i don’t get to do. when she does things without me i feel left out. it just makes me so mad that i hate my life and want my parents to let me have more freedom. i know not to share personal information or any of that shit. i know they love me but if they love me and care about me, they would let me have more freedome. im getting to that age where i wanna just be with my friends. they make me tell them the reason im going to the mall (if reason not good enough, abousoute no) and if there’s an adult gonna b there (no adult NO). i fuckn hate my life when they don’t let me do things that i want to do. every time we get into a conversation, it ends up in an argument. i really love my parents. i do. they just need to give me more freedom. even my dad realizes that i am becoming a teenager and doesn’t let me do shit!!! i already have shit i have to worry about and when i hang out with my friends, i forget about it and it makes me feel better. if my parents were less overprotective. what can i do to let me have freedome??? it is a free country!!!Please i need answers…sorry if my grammar is bad (my writing sucks a lot) thank you if u answer!!! >_<
I’m 15 years old and I have no freedom! I’m not allowed anywhere without my mam. I’ve just asked her if I could go to town with my 16year old sister to do some shopping simce it’s the last Saturday of the 2 week holidays we’ve had and we’ve been literally stuck in the house for the whole 2 weeks! Anyway as expected she said no and didn’t give me a reason. I’m not allowed anywhere with my friends, i’ll very very rarely get to go out on my own, and the only time I have “freedom” is at school! Sometimes I pretend to have an after school enrichment and tell my mam i’ll be home in another hour or so and she’s ok with that however I lie and tell her I’m in school when in fact i’ll go around some shops with my friends or spend a bit of time with my boyfriend. I don’t feel bad about lying.one bit because I need atleast some sort of freedom away from my house and mam. I feel like i’ll be treated like this until I move out. So for now.I’m counting down the days. 😦
HI I’m a girl and 13 years old. My parents wont let me go shopping alone with my friends becuase they think I’ll get kidnapped. My friends parents let her go shopping by herself all the time and their resturant is 2 mins from where we want to go shopping. How can I convince my parents to let me go shopping with my friend alone and that I wont get kidnapped??
Ikr my parents won’t even let me go running outside our street! They don’t trust me it’s not fair!
Im still 15 but 16 this november, raised in Japan since 12. So yea life has been really weird for me these days. It all happened when i start dating this new girlfriend and she is Japanese, very polite and kind girl but then when it comes to my parents judgements on her, they said that she is the type who goes out at night, sleep with guys and drink a lot BUT they are wrong, my girlfriend never do such things and I failed to prove them wrong until last winter vacation. My mom hated my girlfriend and doesnt want her to be loving me or to be near me, so then I revolt and i start calling her over secretly and one day my parents caught us redhanded n then my parents threaten me to decide whch do i want as fr rght nw, get sent bak to malaysia or break up w my gf, I cnt choose either one bcauz i need to b in japan n i need to love my gf, bt then i had to decide tht i need to break up w my gf, bt seecretly i stll go out with my gf bcauz i stll love her and until now my parent do not know that im going out w her, we both decided to keep it low key for a whle until at some point in time bt now when i question my family bout lettng me hang out, they wud want to monitor me everywher on everythng tht im gnna do, BTW IM A GUY, they treat me like tht same 5 years old whom they raised, now I’m already 15 n i thnk i am mature enouh to know about my mistakes and learn from it. my mom wnt let me go out bcauz she cudnt trust me n there r so many times tht im tryng to get my mom trust bak n all she said is tht im nt tryng hard enough, i am a honor roll students, pretty high GPA bt when it comes to friends and hanging out, they grounded me n treat me like someone who they just gave birth to. i need some help, i really need to get out this misery……
Im 17. I just finished high school and am on the longest summer break of my life. A month of this summer break has passed already and i havent left the house. Its not that I dont want to leave the freaking house, i mean, i would be glad to be anywhere but here but my mom isnt letting me do anything. When i say shes not letting me do anything i mean i cant go to the movies by myself, or take a walk around the neighbourhood or even go to the beach. Even if i invite her to come somewhere with me she says no. When i was younger i went to the movies a couple of times(all that i was allowed to do) but my brother had to come with me and shadow me every single time. I stopped asking to go to parties because i know she would say no. She doesnt even want me to go to uni abroad. I hate my life so much.
I am a 15 year old girl and my parents give me pretty much all the freedom I want. I must say though that I have earned this freedom. I always check in with my parents when I arrive at a friends house and such. I do what I am asked of at home such as laundry,sweeping, and general house chores. I do try to keep a friendly relationship with my parents by trying to have fun while we are spending time together. My parents are divorced so it is sometimes hard but my parents are very professional about the whole divorce and handle it very well. I also have the blessing of being the youngest child. I consider this a blessing because I get to watch my older sister get in trouble for an act, allowing me to see what I should and should not do. I maintain an A B average in school also while playing sports in the fall and spring. I have never had a boyfriend, and yes I am 15, but I honestly don’t want a boyfriend, and I think that helps with my freedoms because my parents don’t really have to worry about me with boys and all that drama. I also have quite a small group of friends, only have 2 best friends and then I have my sports friends. I will say that my 2 best friends have rather overprotective parents. My one friend’s mom will not even let her go to the movies with me and our other beat friend simply because “she has been busy over the weekend and she needs to spend time with her family”. I can somewhat see the point her mom is making, but over her ‘busy’ weekend, she was with her family the whole time. I haven’t seen this friend for almost a month, yet her mom refuses to let her go see a movie with me. I guess I am just lucky to have parents who trust me with my freedom
I’m a 12 year old girl and yet another victim of overprotective parents. I have NO freedom whatsoever and I hate my family. I’m never allowed to hang out with my friends. In fact, my friends are responsible and very kind people just like I am, so why can’t I hang out with them? I’m NOT allowed to go ANYWHERE without Mom or Dad present. My parents think family is all I need and should ever want, which is not true for me. I am trying to AVOID them because they are unapproachable, immature, annoying, confrontational, and emotionally unstable. They have anger issues, are very strict with me, and also physically and mentally abuse me. I just want a life (and more privacy) My parents also make me do all the chores to waste my time. I’m old enough to unload the dishwasher, run the washer and dryer, clean animal cages and cat litter box, and stupid things like that, so why am I too young to hang out with my friends (who are about my age), do stuff without my parents’ involvement and presence, and have a later bedtime?!! Seriously, who sends 12 YEAR OLDS to bed at 8:30?!!! I also am “too young” for a cell phone, but have an e-mail address. WTF! SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Help, I am an 11 year old girl and my parents are way too overprotective they won’t let me on Facebook until I’m 13 even though most of my friends are on it😡 they won’t let me go to the park and hang out with my friends AND THE PARK IS LITERALY across the road!!!!! I feel so locked up like I can’t do anything I don’t shout back at them I just say ok but deep down it makes me cry I just want to be b big kid and not their little baby anymore please help
I also am currently struggling with an overprotective mother. I am not allowed to talk to boys, which is absurd because she has no reason to worry. I haven’t dated anyone or vaguely given her a reason to doubt my trust. She even gets mad when I talk to my brother’s best friend. While I may be falling in love with him, I will not act upon my feelings. She says that everything I do is stupid. I can’t stay after school for clubs to often, more or less once a month. I also cannot hang out with my friends outside of school. I can’t go to the library by myself. I am a very good student yet nonetheless she treats me as though I am some kind of delinquent. She also doesn’t let me go to the craft store with my sister. If I stay out too long with my family, she gives me the silent treatment for weeks on end. She doesn’t know me at all.
I am 18 and my dad has major problems with letting me go out with my friends.
He has control issues too. I did confront him earlier about him being too overprotective but then we all just laugh it off and no one see’s it in a serious light.
He believes that if I go for a hangout, the next hangout should at least be a month away and even for that I always have to beg him to let me out. What’s majorly disturbing is that he still thinks that I want to hangout with my friends all the time!
I’ve never been an irresponsible girl. I have my own blog and many other online businesses I do from where I earn money and even if i don’t sometimes, I do work hard every day and he sees that and appreciates it but simply refuses to agree to the fact that I should be allowed to hangout as much as I want because I am working really hard and need to spend time with other people.
I haven’t met many of my very close friends since school got over because of my father and it’s truly disturbing to me when they keep asking me to hangout with them almost everyday and I have to make up excuses just because my father said NO.
What should I do to make him understand that I’ve grown up and I can’t be confined to the walls of my house if I want to become truly independent.
Thanks in advance for replying!
Cheers,
Anagha.