blogging gobbledygook and such

Something found in the inbox today.

These are real notes written by parents in a Tennessee school district…(spellings have been left intact.)

1. My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.
2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.
3. Dear school: please ecsc’s john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.
4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.
5. Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
10. Please excuse ray friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
11. Please excuse pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre, dyrea, direathe), the shits. [note: words in ( )’s were crossed out] .
12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.
13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
14. Please excuse jimmy for being.It was his father’s fault.
15. I kept billie home because she had to go christmas shopping because i don’t know what size she wear.
16. Please excuse jennifer fo! R missing school yesterday. We
forgot to get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday. We thought it was sunday.
17. Sally won’t be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her funeral.
18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.
19. Ple ase excuse jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
20. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
22. Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.
23. Maryann was absent december 11-16, because she had a fever,sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick,fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn’t the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

Nos. 7, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22 and 23 had self’s lewd imagination going. No. 10 is hilarious to self as an English student (by the way, the parent must have loose consonants then… geddit?).

Comments on: "And you wonder why kids today speak and write lousy English?" (4)

  1. 😀 I can’t believe those were written by ADULTS.

    sulz: suspect some were fictionalised, but then again, sometimes truth can be stranger than fiction…

  2. It’s a wonder how school staff keep going with such display of… challenges…

    sulz: all the more urgent their mission to educate, actually!

  3. 90% of the adult population still draws cats as stick figures or the drawings of cats that we were taught in kindy! LOL 😀

    sulz: hey, have no talent in art whatsoever! can you blame self?

  4. I’m sorry for keep on commenting, but this made me pee myself!

    The best one:

    Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father’s fault.

    sulz: haha! you know, all these lines could make some very good sitcom script. 😀

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