blogging gobbledygook and such

There’s a program on the radio that acts like a more proactive version of Aunt Agony. Instead of just pouring out your heart’s troubles and receiving some good common sense advice, the program helps the person solve his or her problems instead. It can range from the trivial to the dramatic. One day’s problem is about a lady who needs a haircut badly – the radio show arranged a free appointment with a top hair salon. Another day’s problem is a girl who doesn’t want to marry the man her father has arranged her to because she wants to marry her boyfriend. That, predictably, went unresolved.

Today’s problem is a guy who wants to confess a hurtful thing he has done to his best friend in secondary school a few years ago. He went on and on about how the incident haunted him every day, and how sorry he was. The guy, like a typical guy, forgave his friend for doing it even though the discovery was shocking and hurtful.

The question is: when you have done something wrong and your conscience screams at you, should you confess to cleanse your conscience, or should you let sleeping dogs lie and suffer your conscience’s self-inflicted beating? On one hand, you sort of owe it to the person you’ve done wrong against to confess, not to mention how much better you’ll feel after for the confession. On the other hand, you should be made to suffer your conscience because you did it in full conscience without any thought of repercussions; and to tell to the person you’ve done wrong against of your deed would do nothing but hurt the person. This isn’t a case of the incident happening in a few days’ time, we’re talking about a deed done years ago. Should you open up a can of worms or let sleeping dogs lie?

For self, am going with the latter. If something had happened so long ago, it doesn’t help at all knowing now, except understanding that small part in your life. Furthermore, it doesn’t ease your conscience more than it hurts the person you’ve done wrong against; it doesn’t make the crime go away at all.

Comments on: "Should you confess or suffer in silence?" (5)

  1. lovelyloey said:

    Yeah, I would let the sleeping dogs lie as well. At least now I’m only plagued by my conscience, but if I confess, I might not get the forgiveness I hope for and that kinda worsens things?
    Besides, I’m not the sort of person who advocates “forgive and forget”. Because I believe, if something is worth forgetting, there’s not much need to “forgive” in the first place because it would be too trivial. Oh well.

    sulz: exactly! precisely!

  2. december said:

    Two years ago, I accidentally spilled juice on a fellow hosteller’s keyboard, and killed its circuits. I would’ve confessed, but when heard him screaming at the top of his voice, daring the culprit to show his face, I chickened out.

    Now if I were to tell him the truth today, would he forgive me? What would rile him the most is the fact that I didn’t confess at that time, wouldn’t it?

    sulz: yeap, it certainly wouldn’t do anybody good for you to confess now, actually. honesty’s the best policy, or so they say, but what happens by being honest is just causing a lot of tension, hurt and drama. if lying makes peace, no wonder we’re all lying at some point or another.

  3. For the past one year I have been on a confession spree, for some of the wrong things I did ever since I was 2. My parents don’t care about those things so much now, and it helps me lighten my guilt. So I like it.

    @lovelyloey: I find it easier to forget things if the ‘wrong-doer’ says sorry.

    sulz: well, you’re lucky that the people you confess to take it good-naturedly. what if the person blows her top? knowing that she will, would you still confess? risk losing her friendship (assuming she’s not family), risk being an outcast in a group of friends?

  4. Dunno. No, I think. Never been in that kind of situation…

  5. […] I have said before that sleeping dogs should lie, and I still believe that you ought to have suffered in silence than to have given this knowledge […]

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