blogging gobbledygook and such

Don’t you just hate that sort of people who impose themselves on you? The kind that wouldn’t agree to anything else except what they think is right, or what they approve of.

Unfortunately, sometime we ourselves can be imposing with realising it. That naturally comes when you’re passionate about an issue. You are so convinced that your view makes the most sense and you try so hard to convince the other party why you feel that way, but it comes off the wrong way. Instead of making that person see it from your perspective, you look as if you’re selling your unwanted views aggressively.

Yet, you don’t want to come off too agreeable with other people’s views that you don’t believe in. There are those that have their own personal opinion on an issue, and are willing to talk about it, but at the same time do not force their ideas on anybody else and is open-minded enough to listen to other conflicting opinions as well. Being someone like this makes you certainly more pleasant to converse with when it comes to controversial issues. The problem is when you’re trying hard to be agreeable so that you don’t offend anybody, you come off as being spineless.

Obviously, whether you come off as being imposing or spineless is all a matter of relativity. What people see as being imposing could be just you merely standing up for what you believe in. What people see as being spineless could be just you choosing your battles and respecting the other party’s opinion.

No matter how hard you try not to cross the fine lines of the two extremes, a biased view will categorise you in either of these traits, depending where you lean more against. If you had to choose between being or coming off as imposing or spineless, which would you rather be?

Comments on: "Would you rather be imposing or spineless?" (7)

  1. It’s an interesting question. The answer for me varies depending on who I’m talking to and how they are talking to me. On the whole I tend to put my own point of view (however off the wall that may be) but am happy with reasoned debate. Though I’m a conflict avoider at heart I’m too old now not to defend my own right to hold the views I do.I don’t however go out of my way to share my views unsolicited other than within the narrow confines of an inner dialogue on a blog.
    I like reasoned argument in which we can agree to differ but am likely not to engage if somebody else uses generally disparaging language in order to not listen to another point of view.In that case I just smile patronisingly and let them rant ( I don’t need the stress).

    sulz: so… be imposing or spineless when necessary? 😛 wouldn’t even give the ranters a chance, if it were self, would just walk out.

  2. A wise person would say that’s an awful question. I’ll always refuse to choose between dominate and being dominated. Even if most of us do and if humanity probably won’t ever elvolve much on that issue.

    sulz: a wise person is certainly entitled to his/her opinion on that. personally, would rather come off as the weaker trait because if people underestimate self then that just works to self’s advantage.

  3. Ohh this is an interesting question. I’m sure of what I think, but I usually don’t care enough as to force people into my point of view. I guess I tend to come out as spineless most of the times. Just today I had a problem with just sitting around being stepped on, so I guess sometimes I wish I was a bit more imposing… sometimes.

    sulz: that’s how am sometimes, it can be very tiring to argue after all. if you’re too imposing people may be intimidated and you just end up scaring people who might otherwise enjoy your friendship and company. but if you’re too spineless you may be exploited by fair-weathered friends. you have to have a good balance of both these traits.

  4. It is all situational. Who, What, Where and When always figure into when ranting over issues. If I am in an unknown situation I become an attentive listener, though that does not mean I will sit their and acknowledge agreement to someone else’s rant if I am unsure whether or not I agree with the individual. I pick my arguments and when I choose the situation is one where listening is the best option I sit, look, listen and sometimes ask questions. My philosophy is if you are unsure listen and evaluate – that way if you choose an oppositional stance at a later date you know your opponent.

    sulz: that’s a cautious answer. 😉 not that there’s anything bad by being so!

  5. it’s a nice read, and something that bothers everybody I guess… the right balance helps, I guess…. along with the courage to be imposing when you seriously feel something is right.
    nelsonnium

    sulz: yeap, most people would rather come off as imposing for a view they truly believe in and spineless if they want to choose their battles. the courage bit, now that’s hard to muster sometimes…

  6. The old saying is true; caution is often the better part of valor. I am a cautious person most of the time, but there are lions dens I enter where caution is the best rule of thumb. And though I am sure over the years there have been those who would call that spineless, there is no value in a needless sacrifice. But then most of those are unwilling to enter the dens of the hungry lions without protection. Even a sacrificial lamb must have some value for their actions if their sacrifice is to have any meaning. I have no problem taking on challenges that are mismatched against me, I just like to reconnoiter the situation before the contention begins.

    sulz: man, you really sound your age! old and rambling… lol, just kidding of course! it’s wisdom that comes with age obviously… 😉

  7. Shhhh! You don’t want to be letting out any national secrets!

    sulz: national secrets… lol! that’s a good one.

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