Everybody has their quirky habits, their idiosyncrasies that don’t make sense to you. Maybe you have a friend who colour codes their underwear. Maybe you get really cranky if anyone tries to speak to you the first hour after you’ve woken up in the morning.
This girl? She refuses to disclose her birth date to friends.
“Why you don’t want to tell me your birthday? You tell me, I can wish you happy birthday and get a gift mar.”
“Eeee, what’s wrong? Why cannot tell your birthday? Don’t like that la… I really want to know your birthday!”
“You tell me la, I promise I won’t tell anybody…”
Some friends actually felt somewhat insulted for self’s insistence to keep the birth date private! They would try to snatch self’s wallet to look for self’s identity card (which is kept somewhere else). They would cajole, coax, pout, persist but will be damned before ever break down and give the date!
It’s nothing to do with age. Am determined to be a person who is not shy about her age, even when she’s 46 and still single. Because there’s nothing wrong to be 46 and single. Anyway, yes, maybe am a little peculiar for refusing to tell friends the birth date. After all, almost everyone adopt a pretty liberal approach as to the divulging of their birth dates. So why is she so secretive about hers?
First, let’s see what birthdays connote to her. Birthdays connote a special day that celebrates the birth of a special person, a loved one. So a birthday of a loved one is a celebration of the existence of said loved one. Celebrations are something that’s important, looked forward to by many people and therefore, nobody ever forgets a celebration day. Nobody forgets when is Xmas, or Chinese New Year, or Thanksgiving. As such, a loved one’s birthday should be placed in the list of Dates to Remember.
The problem is, unless you’re a loved one by default (Reluctant Family Member, Best Friend Forever, Sugar Pie Honey Bunch, etc), chances are your birthday will be forgotten by a casual fair-weathered friend after the friendship has drifted apart. And if you’re someone like this blogger who really remembers dates, it can be very dismaying to know that you’ve taken the time and effort to buy a present for this friend whom you think is your good friend, but you know she does not feel the same way anymore because she has forgotten your birthday this year, which she has never done before in all the years of your friendship.
To self, this makes the whole ritual of revealing self’s birth date meaningless. Why bother asking when in the end you forget? It could be silly to place the condition of remembering self’s birthday as privilege only to certain people, but it is a silliness with a reason. It could rather unsporting not to tell your friends your birthday when they really want to celebrate your special day with you, not to mention that they had freely offer their birth dates when you have asked before, but it is what self believe is self’s right whether should please to reveal or otherwise. And above all, her refusal to divulge her birthday shows that she is not friends with you because she expects birthday presents from you. She is friends with you because she likes you, and the ability of you to remember or forget her birthday is disabled by her refusal to divulge because she appreciates your friendship that much that she does not want to jeopardise her friendship because of her idiosyncrasy!
Okay, you’re thinking that friendships should mean infinitely more than a remembered or forgotten birthday because that deed in itself can be done by anybody. You don’t have to be friends with Paris Hilton to know when’s her birthday.
If that’s the argument, then surely you don’t need to know self’s birthday to be self’s friend? 😉