blogging gobbledygook and such

Situation 1: Girl provocatively dressed gets raped by Man who was aroused by her sexy look.

Situation 2: Woman draped in expensive jewellery becomes target of mugging by Men who were attracted by her shiny blings.

Situation 3: Man calls out on Other Man for cutting in a queue and gets beaten up for it.

Those are just hypothetical scenarios, but you have probably heard or witness a similar situation to one of the scenarios above.

The initial reaction would be Man (S1), Men (S2) and Other Man (S3) are obviously at fault because they did things that were against the law.

But do you have a voice in the back of your mind saying that, well, Girl (S1), Woman (S2) and Man (S3) did kind of ask for it? Isn’t dressing provocatively or covering yourself in expensive accessories a way to attract the wrong kind of attention, or that calling out a stranger on his lack of manners a little dangerous given that the stranger could have violent tendencies? Mean, all three incidents could have been avoided if they thought twice before dressing sexy, wearing expensive and speaking up?

Don’t you think these people have the right to dress as they please or speak up when it’s justified without the worry of being involved in an unfortunate incident? Or do you think these people could have saved themselves a lot of trouble if they didn’t attract attention to themselves in the first place?

Comments on: "Can you blame both the perpetrator and the victim equally for an unfortunate happening?" (13)

  1. lovelyloey said:

    Just like those people who sue McDs for making them fat? Sure, McDs overtly tempt you to their food, but if you’re going to blame someone else for your own lack of resolve, then you’re jolly well admitting you are a weak person.

    For the people who attract attention to themselves; I don’t know about situations 1 and 2, but for situation 3, it’s more than often that we lament the lack of a courageous soul who would do justice like that. -shrugs-

    sulz: in your analogy, most of us realise it’s not mcd’s fault but the person suing mcd. and yet, there are those under the opinion (at least, in malaysia) that girls shouldn’t wear sexy outfits so that they can avoid being raped. which is akin to asking mcd to stop selling fast food so people won’t get fat…

  2. No – No and No. The only person that can be responsible for an action is the perpetrator of the action. The three victims can be held responsible for their own foolishness for not thinking about the consequences of the who-what & where of the events and putting themselves in dangerous situations – hopefully leading them to take safeguards in future events. But the victims cannot be blamed for the terrible actions of individuals attempting to take advantage of the victims’ assumption and trust in compassionate social cohabitation.

    sulz: am thinking in context where the victim does not expect to be one… but yes, of course one has to be responsible for one’s action and should in no way be excused under the defence of being (unintentionally) provoked.

    hmm, what about in the case of intentional provocation then, such as a fight? would the person provoking be at fault or the person who caved into the provocation?

  3. lovelyloey said:

    OH the issue of provocater. In the eyes of the law, the person who provokes is at fault, so should someone provoke me, and I swing a fist, chances are I can get out it free.

    sulz: really? don’t know about such laws, but there was once nearly got in trouble for slapping a boy. he broke something that belonged to self and refuse to pay, so got so mad that ended up snarling stupid boy and giving him a blow across the face with the broken object, in full view of teacher and classmates…

    maybe it’s wrong, but that memory is worth much better than him paying up. πŸ˜›

  4. NO NO NO!

    Not because my handphone was stolen today.

    It’s the person who took the action to take something that isn’t his/hers that’s guilty.

    Could the victim have taken better care of his/her belongings and self? Sure but that doesn’t 100% guarantee that such things would not happen because it depends on who take the action to steal/hurt/rape.

    Dressing sexily/revealing or even being a prostitute does NOT give people the right to rape him/her.

    Could the victim have taken better care of his/her belongings and self? Sure but that doesn’t 100% guarantee that such things would not happen because it depends on who take the action to steal/hurt/rape.

    sulz: good point! don’t know if you read the star newspaper a few months back where people wrote in to the opinions page and actually said that sexy dressing were in a way asking to be raped!

    ps read your post about your losing of your handphone. so sorry to hear about it. 😦

  5. There is one thing that people tend to forget about. In some situations, criminals suffer from illness of one form or another. To a criminal sexual predator with a sickness in his mind, perhaps the introduction of a provocatively dressed woman is enough to overpower his self control and he ends up raping her. Did she ask for it? Certainly not, but when dealing with mentally ill people, you can’t necessarily place the blame 100% on them either.

    I guess the question to ask is if drawing attention to yourself so that you stand out in a crowd is always a smart thing to do? Often people are targeted because they stand out and catch the attention of somebody else. If a sex offender scans a crowd of people, he may pass over an inconspicuous woman without a second thought while his attention is sparked by a woman wearing a short skirt with stockings and heels. Did the woman do anything wrong in dressing that way? No, but she should be aware that attracting attention to yourself also means that you’re attracting attention from people who are potentially sick in the head. It’s always a matter of risk. The same thing applies to more than just women too. If a gay man dresses and acts outwardly gay, he should expect to draw negative attention along with the positive attention. Is it right? No, but it is reality, and sadly reality is what governs this world, not morals.

    sulz: hmm, that’s a point never really considered. but you can’t live your life thinking about the maniacs you might attract, could you? there’s got to be one day you want to dress up, but that shouldn’t be stopped by the thought of running into a maniac, should it?

    but yes, mentally-ill people, it’s difficult to put the blame on them…

  6. arclightzero, how many percent of sexual offenders do you think are “mentally ill”? well, the answer is; surprisingly low. We do not stop driving to work just because the possibility of an accident is much higher than if you sit at home or use public transport, that is to say we cannot reorder our lives in a tolerable and possible manner if we look at all the rare possibilities ( the chance of a metally ill sexual offender attacking you by the way is a hundred times less than a road traffic accident) I am doctor with a special interest in psychiatry by the way.

    sulz, what do you mean by “can you blame”

    sulz: yes, living your life in thinking about the possibilities is just going to stop you from living it!

    erm, well in scenarios like this there has to be somebody at fault, unless it’s a case of a mentally-ill person (as pointed out by arclightzero, as low the percentage may be) in which case am not sure if the mental perpetrator can be blamed for his actions and definitely not the victim. there are two camps of thoughts – one where the perpetrator is fully responsible for his actions, and one where the victim should be aware of the consequences of their actions, which in some extent contribute to their being a victim?

  7. schizo, I don’t disagree with you. I would never say that somebody should change their lifestyle or habits in an attempt to avoid something happening to them. All I am saying is that there is always an increased risk when you stand out in a crowd. It’s caveat emptor as far as I am concerned. Advertise that you’re gay, and you attract attention. Advertise your expensive jewelry, and you attract attention. Advertise your sexy body, and you attract attention.

    I have to admit that my schooling was much heavier in sociology than psychology, but I took more than my fair share of psychology classes as well. Statistically speaking, you’re right. The number of “mentally ill” sex offenders is low, but then again, you have to consider that a sex offender isn’t necessarily of right mind anyway, so you have to consider how you define mentally ill. From a textbook perspective or from the broader perspective? What drives an offender to attack a particular woman? Sometimes it’s completely random, but more often it’s because that particular woman caught his eye for some reason. If somebody targets a woman because of the amount of arousal she instills in him, then perhaps there is something to be said for not standing out in a crowd by being the sexiest looking woman out there. Should it stop somebody from choosing to look that way? Absolutely not, but they need to be aware that they are increasing their risk.

    sulz: man, this is tricky, isn’t it? by being aware, that in some way holds you back from actually living your life. at the same time, it could hypothetically save you from being a target of a maniac or some mentally-ill person…

  8. timethief said:

    No – No and No. The only person that can be responsible for an action is the perpetrator of the action.

    sulz: of course! but sadly there are people who believe otherwise. there were actually people writing in the opinions section of a local newspaper (one of them a woman) saying that sexily-dressed women are in a way asking to be raped… πŸ‘Ώ

  9. lovelyloey said:

    Hoho, seems like those people might have been tempted to do naughty things to these women at times and yet failed so they are writing in to express their disgust. πŸ˜›

    sulz: eh? who are you referring to? didn’t get it. πŸ˜›

  10. Mentally unstable with no sense of right and wrong? What is right and wrong?

    Didn’t read that opinions in The Star. Read countless of such opinions in human rights sites and columns.

    How do people explain covered up from head to toe girls being raped? What about children being abused – that the children were stupid/naughty/rude and they deserve to be hurt? Wandering dogs deserve to be punched? Rich people deserve to be kidnapped?

    If someone had been abused before and is now abusing others – does it justify his/her actions now? He/she should know it is wrong to hurt others because he/she had been hurt before.

    sulz: yeap, yeap, yeap, that’s the defense used by people who replied the people who wrote about sexy clothing “inviting” rape.

    well, as for a mental person committing crime, got many kind of mental illnesses, so perhaps it works on a case by case basis?

  11. I mean the person who had been abused before should know better. It’s not only those who are abused who should know better.

  12. Just because the girl was wearing a provocative dress doesn’t mean someone goes and rapes her. She can wear anything she wants, blimey she can even go around naked. I know men can’t really resist but then it isn’t the girls fault.

    Thinking again though, it’s kind of known that thefts are bound to happen if you’re wearing lots of expensive things. Though it isn’t their fault but knowing the world, they should have avoided it.

    sulz: eh, naked cannot, can get arrested! πŸ˜›

  13. You guys are being too literal here. The fact that somebody wears something sexy or even goes around naked does not mean that somebody will rape her. It does mean, however, that she will get more attention from people, and if one of those people happens to be on the prowl for somebody to harm, there is an increased likelihood that something bad might happen to her. Is it certain? No, of course not, but the chances are raised. It’s a simple (and unfortunate) truth. Whereas every woman no matter how she looks or is dressed has a chance of being sexually assaulted, women who stand out and draw the attention of perverts increase their chances.

    I’m not trying to place blame or fault here. I’m just saying that if you take emotion out of it and look at it as a numbers game, you always increase your risk by standing out and drawing attention to yourself.

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