blogging gobbledygook and such

What are you afraid of?

Click, very fun. 🙂

I’m scared of a lot of things.

1. Cockroaches
I just find them very disgusting and creepy. They’re extremely unpredictable, unlike lizards. There’s no telling if they’d run back to whatever dark space they came from, or if they’d charge towards you, or if they’d fly aiming at your face. Why the fucking hell do cockroaches exist?!

2. Vomiting
I just hate that feeling just before you heave, that one second where the vomit is filling your throat up and you wonder ridiculously if it might stay stuck in your throat, and then it all just comes out, and you feel sick by your own sick and yet better at the same time. And that sour taste vomit leaves in your throat for hours and the apprehension when you feel when you take your first bite after throwing up, fearing if you’re going to throw up again or not.

3. Giving a presentation
People have told me that my presentations aren’t bad. That’s because that fear in me makes me overprepare for my presentation that at the very least, I manage to say what I’m supposed to say. I don’t like seeing people looking at me, expecting something of me. I can’t think on my feet very well and I worry about saying something unintelligible and not performing to my expectations. My hands shake with cold sweat whenever I’m due to do a presentation. I always go first so I can get over the nervousness.

4. Humiliating myself in public
I don’t have much savoir faire. I feel a constant pressure to maintain a proper decorum when I’m in formal situations. When I make a faux pas, I feel really stupid. Like my first time being in a bar. I also am not used to public displays of affection, so I feel very awkward and undignified when someone pulls me in for a hug or an air kiss.

5. People judging me
It’s okay to be evaluated for my performance for something, because judging is expected in such circumstances. It’s when I don’t expect to be judged that I fear what people might say about me. I don’t think highly of myself, but when I am pronounced a failure in some aspect by someone, I feel like my flaws are all that makes me. I get very embarrassed if someone praises me in public, because I don’t feel like I deserve it. And of course, I feel humiliated and angry if someone criticises me in public, because I don’t deserve that too! I think when people pass judgments, they should be sure that the person they’re talking about would never know what is said about him or her, but if they were to tell the person what they think of something, they should do it in private. I also despise it when people keep staring at me; I feel as if they’re judging the way I look.

Yes, I’m feeling very emo today.

Would anyone mind to tell sulz when is his or her birthday, especially the regular readers?

Comments on: "What are you afraid of?" (21)

  1. July 10.

    I’m only afraid of large creatures in the sea. Not afraid of bears, serial killers, mountain lions, lightning, acts of God, or God. Just large sea creatures.

    sulz: so no swimming in the beach for you? 😉 what’s the significance of july 10? your birthday?

    oh goat, asked everybody when’s their birthday and totally forgot that have asked it! 😕 must be old age.

  2. That flower thing was really cool, like really cool. I like blasting my blog with meteors and nuke weapons though. 😛

    I loath cockroaches too, those fugly little unpredictable sob’s! I hate almost all insects actually.

    And vomiting too. I must say you gave such an excellent description of how it feels when you vomit that I totally went “Ewww” from the core of my heart. Excellent job! 😛

    I’m afraid of roads, and road accidents because I think I’m gonna die in one of them. I don’t trust my driving but more than that, I don’t trust the person driving behind or ahead of me.

    And it’s December 20.

    sulz: heh, put the link to your blog with your choice flash then.

    you hate them, but at least you aren’t scared of them and their creepy long feelers on the front. *shudder*

    hehe, that’s how much am so afraid of vomiting; it’s called being emetophobic!

    your fear is very understandable.

    you’re a capricorn. 🙂

  3. 4. Humiliating myself in public
    5. People judging me

    that 2 points’ the same things I’m afraid of (or maybe should I call it: thinking of? 😕 )

    sulz: well, if you’re afraid of it, you’d definitely at some point be thinking about it. 😉

    alex ini dari indonesia ke? apa khabar, saya ni orang malaysia. 🙂

  4. *shudder*

    Cockroaches… I remember my first Texas cockroach. I swear it was as big as a newborn baby…

    A fear I’m currently tackling is any sort of computer command line. Getting my hands dirty and trying a little bit everyday is working. That who systematic desensitization thing. At least I’m no longer convinced that a mistyped character will turn my computer into a black hole that will destroy all of Korea.

    sulz: don’t want to visit texas anymore… 😕 oh yes, it’s scary to do anything more techie than blog, am always afraid of damaging the computer or something. but when you do take the risk and tinker around and manage to figure out how to do something on your own, the feeling is very rewarding. 🙂

    long time no see in the forums. teaching english in koread that exhausting huh? 😉

  5. alex ini dari indonesia ke? apa khabar, saya ni orang malaysia. 🙂

    Yup! Dari Banda Aceh, tepatnya. Masuk ke blog ini abis baca-baca forum wordpress. Orang Malaysia? Really?
    Wow… salam kenal 😉

    sulz: salam kenal. 🙂 saya ingin sangat ke indonesia untuk mencuba donat di krispy kreme! rasanya kedainya di jakarta, haha. dan mestilah melawat bali dan tempat-tempat lain di indonesia. 🙂

  6. I not only hate cockroaches, I’m afraid of them too. I used to not go to the bathroom when it was cockroach season. I still try to use the cockroachless bathroom. There used to be some cockroaches who could fly and so i used to sleep in summer with a blanket on so that no cockroach could fly and come to my bed and touch my skin. Ugh. 😐

    And I’m supposed to be a Sagittarius, as far as I’m aware.

    sulz: same here! if had to take a bath before going to college and there’s a cockroach, would refuse to bathe until there’s no trace of the cockroach. if it’s still there and it’s time to go to class will just go smelly.

    thank goodness self’s bedroom is small and for some reason have not found a cockroach in it. though a rat did come in once, which is an entirely grossed out story. *shudder*

  7. ish, there is such thing as cockroaches season?

    I just hate it when it crawls onto my skin or fly nearby or touches my things! Ek, dirty! But poor things, they get killed quite often.

    sulz: maybe in india got. 😛 have no sympathy for cockroaches because they’re just too icky! wah, if it ever touches self, would scream the house down!

  8. 5th o’ June.
    And I’m scared of:
    Spiders with Long legs and fat bodies
    Being Alone.
    Having my throat slit (I can be really funny about people touching my throat)
    Going Crazy (I’ve come too close for comfort too often)

    sulz: heh, just like ron weasley. 😉 being alone is pretty scary, definitely, when you think about it from a long-term perspective! and mayonnaise? maybe if you have just a little each time, it won’t do as much harm to your health? 🙂

    thanks for the birth date!

  9. my dob is jan 6.
    i am mostly afraid of height. VEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERY afraid – as in acrophobic.which is a pity, i would love to try all sorts of mountain sports. but i make such a fool of myself everytime i have to cross a “rough” terrain.

    if you are afriad of presentations, you might like to enrol in a short theater course, if that is an option for you. these courses help you get rid of your inhibitions and fear of being looked at by people. after my theater course (i didn’t do it to improve my presentations, btw) i ruled my presentations!

    air kisses are something i don’t get at all! i mean you either kiss me or you don’t. and i don’t like being hugged and kissed in public so much, but i’m trying to get a bit used to it in certain situations.

    sulz: many people are afraid of heights, it’s almost normal! 🙂 oh yes, have lots of inhibitions… or is it hibitions? because aren’t you supposed to feel free when you’re inhibited? uh confused…

    don’t mind hugging people generally, but sometimes am afraid to do it because people might think am being so posh or something, or that might smell because have hyperhidrosis.

  10. you can be free in the sense that you are uninhibited. don’t know about hibited. damn, why can’t we look up a word just by right-clicking it? like we do in ms word?

    sulz: hehe, that’s the best feature in microsoft word, that’s for sure! 😉

  11. root canals and wisdom tooth extractions scare me

    sulz: dentist is one of self’s fears too, just don’t want to think about the pain and the pain on the pocketbook! 😯

  12. BTW IMO unless or unntil you cough up your own birthdate no one else should be telling you theirs. {tit for tat} 😉

    sulz: technically, should tell yes, but as you can see people actually seem to like telling their birthdates without asking for self’s! 😉 anyway, already know yours, so there! 😛

  13. I too fear numbers 2, 4, and 5. and my birthday is Nov 13.

    sulz: you’re emetophobic too? hey, didn’t know there were so many like self. 🙂 thanks for the birthdate!

  14. yup… and you’re welcome…. if you don’t mind me asking, how come sudden interest in our bdays? and what is yours?

    sulz: nah, just curious. this post talks about self’s birthday. 😉

  15. Well no, there isn’t exactly something called cockroach season. But I regard the summers as cockroach season because that’s when all those filthy insects come out of hiding and go around biting people here and there. They’re not there in winter.

  16. ish, I only notice ants coming out during rainy seasons.. where do they go? Hibernating too? 😀

  17. when IS your birthday? am curious to draw up entire zodiacal profile. mine’s march 4th so there.

    and i’s afraid of heartbreak. cheesy, i know, but true. also, the thought of spending the rest of my life with the wrong person freaks the bejeesus outta me.

    i’m afraid of very intangible things 😛 the closest thing that scares me are worms, i suppose. yeech.

    sulz: try this post for the birthdate. 😉 in this time and age, you wouldn’t be spending your life with the wrong person for the rest of your life, though it could be for a long time if you were to realise it really late!

  18. okay, no I don’t HAVE to know your birth date… I just want to.. 🙂 so I can have a reason to send an e-card to some one…. my friends don’t check their e-mail, so the e-card ends up lost in the inbox 😦

    sulz: hey you don’t need a reason to give this girl an e-card, she loves cards of any kind for any occasion! 🙂 your wanting to know is appreciated though, truly. 🙂

  19. I am afraid of spam. It should be outlawed.

    sulz: spam is yummy once in a while. 😉

    … oh wait, that spam! that’s why we have akismet. 🙂

  20. I’m horrified of men in makeup. Clowns, mimes, you name it. Guys in makeup scare me to death.

    Midgets kind of freak me out. I think it’s just because they are unfamiliar to me. If I knew one they probably would be okay with me.

    Spiders. “Self” turns into the biggest sissy in 4 counties when a spider makes it’s appearance known.

    Flying. Rather funny considering I do it almost every other week. I travel from Baltimore to L.A. almost monthly. Yet I hate flying. Had a bad experience once where we fell 10,000 feet in a matter of seconds during a thunderstorm. No thanks, let me off this bloody thing!

    sulz: hahaha… but men are more metrosexual these days! surely you have a male colleague who wears make-up to work? if you don’t, be prepared for one in the future… 😛

    meh, then would self freak you out? am five feet one, almost a midget by american standards!

    have only flown once, and would love to do it again. scary bits and all. 😛

    thanks for commenting in all these posts!! didn’t expect you to read that many in the first place!

  21. I was actually going to comment on more but when I noticed I was the most recent 5 comments I thought “okay dude, you look like a spammer now.”

    Sulz – 5 ft 1 is not a midget. That’s perfect in my opinion. My wife is 5 ft 2 (more like 5 ft 1 1/2). WHen I say midget I mean more like “mini me” in Austin Powers – that type of dwarfism. You would just be classified as petite – which many guys find desirable.

    And yes, I’ve got plenty of metro and even homosexual friends. I don’t mean that type of makeup. I’m talking street performers. Clowns because they look scary and they wear weird costumes…….and they eat kids. Mimes because they look like death, refuse to speak, are annoying……..and they feed on human brains. It’s quite simple really. 🙂

    sulz: ahh, okay – was kinda half-joking about self’s height; after all, it is shorter than the female’s average height really. 😉

    right, so should not get you stephen king’s it as a gift, eh? 😛

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