Click, very fun. 🙂
I’m scared of a lot of things.
I just find them very disgusting and creepy. They’re extremely unpredictable, unlike lizards. There’s no telling if they’d run back to whatever dark space they came from, or if they’d charge towards you, or if they’d fly aiming at your face. Why the fucking hell do cockroaches exist?!
I just hate that feeling just before you heave, that one second where the vomit is filling your throat up and you wonder ridiculously if it might stay stuck in your throat, and then it all just comes out, and you feel sick by your own sick and yet better at the same time. And that sour taste vomit leaves in your throat for hours and the apprehension when you feel when you take your first bite after throwing up, fearing if you’re going to throw up again or not.
3. Giving a presentation
People have told me that my presentations aren’t bad. That’s because that fear in me makes me overprepare for my presentation that at the very least, I manage to say what I’m supposed to say. I don’t like seeing people looking at me, expecting something of me. I can’t think on my feet very well and I worry about saying something unintelligible and not performing to my expectations. My hands shake with cold sweat whenever I’m due to do a presentation. I always go first so I can get over the nervousness.
4. Humiliating myself in public
I don’t have much savoir faire. I feel a constant pressure to maintain a proper decorum when I’m in formal situations. When I make a faux pas, I feel really stupid. Like my first time being in a bar. I also am not used to public displays of affection, so I feel very awkward and undignified when someone pulls me in for a hug or an air kiss.
5. People judging me
It’s okay to be evaluated for my performance for something, because judging is expected in such circumstances. It’s when I don’t expect to be judged that I fear what people might say about me. I don’t think highly of myself, but when I am pronounced a failure in some aspect by someone, I feel like my flaws are all that makes me. I get very embarrassed if someone praises me in public, because I don’t feel like I deserve it. And of course, I feel humiliated and angry if someone criticises me in public, because I don’t deserve that too! I think when people pass judgments, they should be sure that the person they’re talking about would never know what is said about him or her, but if they were to tell the person what they think of something, they should do it in private. I also despise it when people keep staring at me; I feel as if they’re judging the way I look.
Yes, I’m feeling very emo today.
Would anyone mind to tell sulz when is his or her birthday, especially the regular readers?