Yesterday was out to celebrate Jelly’s birthday with Strawberry. The three of us shared fried calamari for starters (yum), green curry chicken for main and a slice of flourless orange cake for dessert as brunch. Then, we went for a karaoke session because Jelly and Strawberry are karaoke freaks, and it was Jelly’s birthday.
Was expecting to have a boring time. At first, it was rather dull seeing them totally absorbed in belting out their favourite Chinese tunes which have not heard before. Well, there were the music videos to occupy self visually. They tried very hard to make self sing a song with them, but each time declined forcefully. Apart from having a lousy singing voice, it just felt so incredibly corny to be singing songs.
As they sang, am a bit marvelled at their lack of self-consciousness when they warbled off-key and laughed it off like a bad joke. They don’t let themselves be bothered by the fact that they aren’t perfect, they aren’t good. Listening to them attempt to hit the high notes and failing hysterically, it made self feel so… frigid.
It made self realise that all of the self-expression self have done is through media that requires just self. Reading, writing, blogging, thinking, musing… There is no other participant than self when the creative process happens. There is nobody to critique or commend self, the way other modes of self-expression may have, like singing, dancing, acting etc. The judging is delayed – unlike singing where you instantly judge – which can enable the creator to be emotionally detached from a piece of work done years ago, at a point in his or her life that is no longer the case at present.
And the fact that have always shunned such activities has just made self more self-conscious when doing anything in front of people, especially presentations. Setting personal expectations which are impossible to achieve due to self’s nature of being physically awkward. Judging too harshly on any of self’s public performance. It’s wrong. Just because am physically awkward, whether it’s singing or speaking articulately or expressing affections verbally or physically, does not mean that self should shun these activities. In fact, should do it more often to become less awkward!
So what if have a lousy singing voice? Nobody goes to the karaoke to be discovered by music producers. People go there to sing their favourite songs, even if they butcher a classic in the process. Because guess what? It’s freaking fun. It’s fun to deliberately sing off-key and make your friends laugh at you. It’s fun to let yourself go like that, looking and sounding like a downright fool. It’s just liberating to express yourself musically.
In the end, have mustered some courage to sing one song. Warbled off-key (softly). Laughed at self (loudly).
Am a karaoke convert now. 🙂
Physically frigid, but definitely not in blogging – link love to ish!
Also during this period I had visited Sulz’s blog a couple of times. Her superb flowery template had always attracted my attention and I had thought that she was one of the WordPress administrators since she had a custom template. Eventually I figured it was a Custom CSS update. I kept reading her blog and eventually started commenting and we became friends. She’s got a very distinct style of writing and the honesty of her posts and comments is what makes her what she is.