blogging gobbledygook and such

It is funny how little we know about the people we ‘hang out’ with on the internet. The tiniest hints of identity are all we have to go on. Yet often we know all about their inner world (or at least the parts they choose to expose, which is quite often most of it…anonymity does funny things to people sometimes. I think generally it’s good for us though….It’s really quite amusing how far off our guesses have been, and I think it’ll make me re-evaluate a lot about how I imagine people. I was right…this chain of events was intriguing.

Alabaster Crippens

This reply by Alabaster to self in his blog refers to how far off self’s impression of his personality was from what he’s really like in person. This also came about after having seen pictures of each other, how the both of us had mental pictures of how each other look like that could not be more different than how we really look like.

Does it matter how well we know someone through the internet? Mean, we don’t exactly know some of our friends in real life any better. But then again, it’s your internet buddies who probably know the secret side of you more than the classmate sitting next to you in class. The kind of secrets that could be dangerous if you somehow rub your blog buddy the wrong way. Like you, as an anonymous / pseudonymous blogger, could show pictures of yourself in your blog (in a protected post), but then before you know it, your head’s plastered on some naked flabby body.

Oookay, am getting paranoid now! LOL.

Comments on: "How well do you know your internet friends / blog buddies?" (13)

  1. I never know how paranoid to be. I actually got really scared about posting that link on your secure post, because now anyone has access to me. That’s definitely scary, even though it’s not everyone…it’s just the people you allow, so it’s not everyone it’s just out of my hands. Which is weird.

    But yeah, it’s such a weird dichotomy. You get these really intimate relationships with people you’ve never met (I don’t mean intimate as in romantic, just as in close)…and that doesn’t make sense…except it does.

    Having said that, I don’t have a link, but apparently a study shows that people who blog positively, become more positive, and those who blog negatively, become more negative. Psychomological study somewhere. Basically, you start becoming the person you blog as (the inner you? the performative, extroverted you?) more by displaying that side of you more in the ‘real world’.

    So maybe you do know people better as time goes by, not in the conventional sense of the phrase, but in the sense that the person you know becomes more the person you know as time goes on.

    Okay, I’m stopping there, that actually made no sense whatsoever. I should definitely not post in one screen whilst trying to write intentionally oblique stream of consciousness narratives in another window.

    And I don’t care what you say…I shouldn’t ramble so much in other people’s living rooms.

    sulz: hey, if you ever want the link removed, just say the word.

    this is an open space and you are free to ramble as you please! whether people want to read it is another matter. 😉

    well hopefully have been a mostly positive blogger and thus will be more positive in life as well.

  2. 1. Like the new look! It’s very minimalist, with touches of whimsy.
    2. I have said to those few of my “real life” friends who know I blog that my blog is more “me” than any other way I present myself…except to those intimate few. So, why is it that I don’t want most of my family and friends to look at the blog? hmmm. The other side of your question.
    3. We all hear those horror stories of a middle-aged man pretending to be 17 year old boy online to get teenage dates, etc., but it seems to me that if we are “real” about who we are on our blogs we will attract conversation with other authentic souls, yes? It would be my feeling that those of us who have seen your protected post would respect you and your privacy. Even though you are only “pixels” to us, in some way, I know you are a very real person and care about your wishes.
    4. Fascinating comment by Alabaster about the psychology of blogging! You articulated something I had been noticing–that blogging for me has helped me get in touch not only with who I am, but also who I WANT to be, and therefore I’m becoming more like my blog. Wow.

    sulz: thanks! well, this blog is secret to people to friends and family too, but for reasons different than yours perhaps!

    yes, do trust you guys enough, but at the same time there’s always a risk no matter how minimal is it?

    yes, definitely food for thought! 🙂

  3. “But then again, it’s your internet buddies who probably know the secret side of you more than the classmate sitting next to you in class.”

    well….i guess getting to know someone is actually a matter of exposure to that certain person and how much you reveal your ‘dark sides.’

    sulz: true, but does revealing your dark side on the internet makes the internet your best friend? 😉

  4. no matter how hard we try, it is never possible to reveal our everything to people either online or offline. this whole thing is a delusion. and what if it WAS possible, many different versions of ourselves would spring up in other people’s minds due to their own psychological make-up. knowledge is relative.

    i have a question that bothers me, though. if you feel close to a blog buddy, but somehow you feel that that blog buddy is not as interested in you as before, then what would you do? would you keep on feeling confused or would you bring it up? especially if you know you didn’t do anything wrong intentionally? would you keep on pretending to be good blog buddies or would you rather confront your bb?

    just wondering how online relationships really work. 😀

    sulz: am not sure how online relationships work either. if it really bothers you then you should speak up, otherwise you won’t know what’s going on, would you?

  5. Lol Sulz, stop being paranoid now!

    When you make someone your buddy, you have a certain amount of trust in that person. It’s the same as real life. You can never trust anyone fully. You can just hope that even if things go wrong, the other person ends things quietly and doesn’t make much of a fuss about it. Otherwise you could be in trouble. But that happens with a real friend you trust too.

    Btw, if you ever fight me, I promise you I’ll not stick your head on top of a nude chicks body 😛

    sulz: haha, was joking lah! if am that paranoid the pictures would have stayed with self. yeah, in the end, life is all about risks! we have to take it, otherwise we could be missing out on fantastic things.

    that’s good to know, ish. 😉

  6. Muse directed me here, so on Muse’s shoulders rests the following… 😉

    I am known about blogosphere and in other parts as Stonehead, which some claim is an artificial construct that could not possibly be true. The more tactful simply accept the construct as it stands.

    I suspect this reaction is, in part, down to the fact that I deliberately chose which aspects of myself to include in Stonehead, which to leave out, and which to hint at in passing but to never directly address.

    I strongly suspect doing this in a deliberate and planned way jars with bloggers whose persona came about through subconscious choices and ongoing accretion.

    But, people also miss another key aspect of Stonehead. One that shows it to be not a construct, but a homunculus.

    Stonehead is constructed from aspects of me but he is also more than that as he is semi-autonomous with a degree of freedom or selfwill that a simpler construct lacks. He still remains loosely tethered to the maker or observer behind him though.

    He is a little being sent forth as my agent, as an illustration or representation of how I function, and as a subject for any unendurable torments that other bloggers care to unleash.

    Why? Observation. Muse will understand this reference and I may return to it when I have time.

    For now, I’ll leave you with this thought – Stonehead is the Brazen Man.

    sulz: first, thanks for visiting and commenting! it’s a little too deep for self, but let’s see… so stonehead is a creation designed for observation through his interaction with other netizens? what is the particular purpose for observation then?

  7. How do I know them? Not much. But they don’t know much about me either. So that, is that. I like being mysterious anyway 😛 I relish it!

    sulz: you sure do! 😉

  8. Observation is both a means and an end. I enjoy the means for the sake of it – watching the world go by as it were – and the ends because observation is fundamental to tolerance. Observe the differences, appreciate the differences and respect the differences.

    There are a couple of posts on Muse’s blog that relate to this – Observations on Observation and Observations about Observations on Observation.

    sulz: hmm, you should post your observations about your own observations too. 😉 thanks for links.

  9. Hm, it’s interesting how our interactions online create new ideas and connections, isn’t it? I mean, how a comment like you made in Alabaster’s blog can spark a whole post, or how people from all walks of life can share in something like blogging and have so many different perspectives. It’s fun to think about. 😉

    I try and keep myself a little distant online, if only because I don’t want to put too much of myself out there… I think it’s important that every blog be you, your voice, but it’s that balance between sharing yourself and privacy that’s so hard to find and it’s probably different for every blog (and blogger).

    But that’s also why bloggers form connections so quickly, I think, because we all understand that… we have that in common, even if there are some misconceptions along the way. 🙂

    I like your new look, btw. Very elegant. 😉

    sulz: thanks! judyb12 did a great job, of course. 😉 guess part of the appeal of blogging is to be able to connect with anyone without necessarily having an established relationship.

    as for self, am that sort of person who wears her heart on her sleeve, so if this blog isn’t secret from friends and family you’d probably know all there is to know about self.

    as it is, it’s probably much better to stay pseudonymous on the internet!

    inspiration for posts are everywhere really, just a matter of being sparked at the right moment. 🙂

  10. What I learned from Stonehead’s comment:
    1. I have more clout than I thought, but I’m not taking responsibility for his content nevertheless.
    2. I am not tactful. [see his paragraph 2. I can live with this 😉 ]
    3. He is a mental construct. (I feel a post coming on…)
    4. He is not merely a construct.
    5. The purpose of the construct. Very Interesting. Will have to think more upon this.
    6. Aha! Stonehead is the Brazen man…(Who is not as brazen?)
    7. He is generous posting links to my blog on a visited blog.

    From Netty’s
    You got me going as well. How, indeed, do online relationships work? How do we know when we feel close to an online friend? What does that mean? We cannot search their faces or voices for nuance. You are so right that no one can truly know us, whether that one is “live” or online. I think we all put forth somewhat of a constructed persona even amongst those closest to us.

    And from cj’s
    I’m looking at your postulation of a balance of privacy and sharing. I see blogging as engaging at the level of ideas, so don’t feel it desirable to share many personal details, as they can be distracting. However, at the idea level I find it difficult to engage without being fully engaged. As a (live) friend says “I’m as open as I know how to be”. I’m always learning to be more.

    sulz, you are a generous blog host. You are brilliant in how you get your commenters to do a lot of the work! You come up with intriguing topics, and then some of us just can’t leave them alone. You probably got more than you bargained for with this one! I am happy to have sent a little traffic your way. As for your “heart on your sleeve”, it reminds me of an editing job I once applied for. I asked “How much do you want me to mark up this copy? How far should I go?” The reply was one word: “Bleed”. I didn’t get the job, but I bleed more now than I did then.

    sulz: on the contrary, feel so lucky to have commenters like you who are so willing to take the time and thought to contemplate about the stuff am thinking! definitely more than have bargained for, but it’s all good. 😉 the comments received on bloggerdygook can really make self feel better when having a bad day even, that’s how much comments mean to self.

    as for knowing if we feel close to an online friend, it’s the same way we judge how close we feel to a friend in person. it’s just that feeling you get. whether that feeling is mutual is a different matter, because you can only feel what you feel. of course, if the feeling is reciprocated, that’s great. but if it isn’t, that does not mean you are less of a friend to that person, does it?

  11. […] comment by cjwriter made self wonder if you should keep your personal details separate from what you blog so that ideas […]

  12. […] sulz asks: Do you think friendships online work the same way as offline? […]

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