blogging gobbledygook and such

Play this!

Why nobody play one? Seriously, it will have you screaming obscenities… at least, that’s what the one person who played it reported so far. πŸ˜› Another said you need a good mouse and strong heart! And another found it too stimulating and has ceased to be sulz’s friend for that. And yet another spewed curses, but at self. Muahaha! Someone claimed to have a heart condition after this. Seriously, is it that bad? Can’t tell ‘cos computer speakers are spoiled… hehe!

*

Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas are 25 years apart exactly (they share the same birthday). They seem to be raising a happy family at the moment, with two kids in tow. Michelle Branch is married to someone 18 years older than she is. Demi Moore, in her early forties, seems to be having it good with Ashton Kutcher, who’s in his late twenties (or has he hit thirty already?).

However, society still doesn’t quite approve of couples with too large an age gap between them. Case in point: the recent news about an 82-year-old woman marrying a 24-year-old man. (She died of a stroke one month later, willing all her property to him.) Another case in point: Mary Kay Letourneau who had sex with her future husband when he was 13, before marrying him when he turned 21 (after having been sentenced to prison for 7 years for statutory rape). They now have two kids. What about this one: a 34-year-old woman married her 21-year-old foster son and had a kid together?

Okay, so those are extreme examples to choose, but you get the point. πŸ˜‰ There is a good reason for it, certainly? After all, a man in his forties would be mentally at a level that’s totally different than a woman in her, say, twenties? At the same time, we have couples (as mentioned above) who seem to be exceptions to this social norm.

Would you date a younger man if you’re a woman? Would you date an older woman if you’re a man?

Do you think there should be an age limit on someone you could be romantically involved with? After all, who’s to say what form love could come in? Should you set limits to yourself to look for a socially accepted romance? Or should you set limits for practical reasons so as to avoid potentially disastrous matches (read: golddiggers, mid-life crisis flings, etc)?

What’s your limit?

Comments on: "How old is too old? (Or how young is too young?)" (34)

  1. It depends on what people want from such a relationship as far as I think. If it’s purely physical, then there should not be too much of an age difference because the older person will most probably not be able to satisfy the younger person.

    But I think 3-4 years is ok enough. Even 10 years is tolerable enough but more than that gets a bit weird because as you said, both people will be on a different mental level and such a relationship might not last as long as they’d want it to. It’s only natural.

    When we are in our teens, we do have an attraction with older people. Girls who are in school often go after guys who are in college and are about to finish college because they feel that such people have seen more in life and will be more emotionally stable. Guys obviously go for younger girls because they believe they’d be better in bed and will be ready to do almost anything the guy wants in the relationship. We understand things as we grow up, it’s a part of knowing things.

    As far as I’m concerned, I don’t think I could go around with an older woman. 1 year or some months is a different think but older than that is unimaginable. As far as the younger side is concerned, again 1 year and/or some months to the maximum. Not younger than that.

    sulz: that’s a small age gap you set for yourself. does that mean if somehow you met a girl whose age was beyond that limit you won’t consider a relationship with her even if you’re attracted?

    though admittedly it is easier to have a socially accepted relationship in a judgemental society like most asian countries.

  2. If it’s legal and a genuine relationship then no age gap is insurmountable and as has been mentioned people want different things from relationships. Age difference prejudices change as you get older. I’m 7 years older than my partner and it’s hardly an issue at all.

    sulz: you know, self’s teacher has a friend who fell in love with her husband when she was 12 and he 37. he was married at the time but he divorced eventually. she got married to him when she was 20 and he 45. now she’s 50 and he’s 75, and still happily married. just think it’s amazing, and a true testament to age doesn’t matter!

  3. As emalyse points out love knows no boundaries; it respects no “age gaps”.

    It’s only the societal conditioning of ingrained prejudices that leads us to believe nonsense like people in love must be close to the same age or it isn’t really love that they are experiencing.

    If it’s purely physical, then there should not be too much of an age difference because the older person will most probably not be able to satisfy the younger person.

    Ha! ha! ha! ha! πŸ˜€ *rotflol*{ish – no offence intended but get a grip!}

    This is a fallacy. Yes, it’s an unsubstantiated prejudice that youthful and sexually inexperienced people cling to. Those who who have been brainwashed into believing that older people have learned nothing from their sexual experience and, that they do not having satisfying sex lives must, needs be, believe that only the young are adept at sex and enjoying it. When, in fact, young people, especially males, need lots of training before their sexual performance can be rated as satisfying by both partners.

    http://thistimethisspace.com/2007/08/29/sexuality-attitude-not-age-is-what-counts/

    Like emalyse I’m also older than my partner and it doesn’t matter a whit to our relationship.

    sulz: so the older, the better eh? πŸ˜‰

    there is some truth in that some relationships with large age gaps don’t work out. then again, the same can be said with some relationships with minimal age gaps so that point is moot! right?

  4. I think people worry and debate too much about what is acceptable and what not. It all depends on the character/the person. If he/she is older/younger, does it really matter if both are happy?

    Age is a moot point. πŸ™‚

    sulz: yeah, the happy bit definitely makes the age moot! πŸ˜‰

  5. George Clooney is 18 years older than Sarah Larson; he’s 46 and she’s 28, and they seem happy. Brad Pitt is 12 years older than Angelina Jolie and they seem happy too.

    I too believe that age doesn’t matter if two people love each other. If they’re happy being with one another, why would they care what other people think?

    If I was in a position where I was in love with a woman younger (or older) than me, I wouldn’t give a rat’s tail what others would think. It’s just none of their business.

    P.S. Your effing game almost gave me a heart attach. I yelled the not so nice word “motherfu***r” when that thing popped up… good thing no one was around. πŸ˜€

    sulz: true, ultimately the age gap is entirely the couple’s business. but this stigma happens sometimes out of genuine concern of loved ones; however, it can inadvertently worsen a relationship through societal pressure. after all, we want to be, at some level, accepted by society, though it shouldn’t be to the extent that we can’t be with who we would like to be with.

    haha!

  6. lovelyloey said:

    I feel that for me, at my current age, a gap of 2-6 years is acceptable, because that’s probably when both of us have similar aims in dating; to have a relationship. If I were to date a 35 year old man when I’m 21, and he’s talking about marriage, then that’s a bit mismatching isn’t it?
    But I if I were 30 and dated a man who’s 45, the difference doesn’t seem quite that big anymore.

    sulz: only mismatch ‘cos you don’t want to get married right now mer… maybe few years down the road. πŸ˜‰ as you said when you grow older the age gap doesn’t seem to matter anymore.

  7. haha… i was initially fearful of the age gap, but now i’m kinda actively pursuing a relationship with a girl who is 7 years younger. πŸ˜›

    we don’t think much about the age gap… we both treat each other like good friends and siblings (and a lil’ more than friends). hopefully everything will work out in the coming months. πŸ˜›

    sulz: 7 years is nothing lah… self’s parents are 7 years apart. πŸ˜‰ well, the best of luck to you! would love to see a picture of you and her on your blog…

    ps. is that the girl who you made to be your photography ‘model’?

  8. Age isn’t quite relevant as we’ll all get older. But I still have an issue with women 20+ older than me…

    sulz: haha, isn’t that a little contradicting? πŸ˜‰

  9. Will Rhodes said:

    There is 18 years difference between myself and my wife, Sulz – I am 46 and she is 28, soon to be 29, but don’t remind her of that. lol.

    If there is a genuine relationship – who cares how old a person is, or the age gap?

    What I have found is that today, more than in the past, ‘others’ out there seem to feel that you must be within a set number of years, say five, I cannot see why – but I normally just take the p*ss out of those who feel this way – as my wife says, she has always had a thing for older men’.

    sulz: wow, that’s some age gap! hmm… more living proof that age doesn’t matter!

  10. I won’t say that I wouldn’t try if I got attracted. But I was just mentioning the age I think I’d be attracted to. Otherwise, it completely depends on what the two people want from the relation.

    sulz: so it’s your ideal age for a partner but not necessarily a requirement? that’s good… just remember not to let social stigma make you doubt. πŸ˜‰

  11. Btw, I did play that game too, never got past the second round.

    sulz: try again! you can do it!

  12. haha… how did you guess it was her? πŸ˜›

    sulz: aiyoh… you never ask anybody else to model before also! yeah, she is really cute though! chap tou lah you. :mrgreen:

  13. πŸ˜† @ the game. Better have a good mouse and an d strong heart. Is that Tubular Bells playing in the background.

    sulz: :mrgreen: that means you have a strong heart!

  14. Yeah, that’s what I meant…

    sulz: hmm!

    … kind of get your point. πŸ™‚

  15. When I was in my late-teens/earlier twenties I often went out with guys 10-15 years older than me. Then in my thirties I ended up dating guys who were 10-15 years younger than me … so for almost three decades I seemed to going out with people who were the same age! πŸ™‚

    I tend to prefer someone slightly older than me mostly because we tend to have more in common in terms of general life experiences. So, like the other night when Nog & I were out for a drink, I didn’t have to explain who Robbie Robertson is.

    My previous boyfriend was 13 years younger and Spanish, and while the age and cultural differences were fun and interesting at first, it got a bit tiresome after awhile.

    I reckon that when there is a huge age difference involved there is usually money involved. And of course, famous ‘super star’ couples are certainly not the norm. There is also the double standard … nobody bats an eye when a man is 20-30 years older than his female partner (in fact, that’s the usual coupling you see in Hollywood films) but older women with much younger men are often seen as a joke.

    sulz: so would you say there is a difference between dating younger and older guys due to the age factor? or the difference is purely in personality?

    hmm, so is the golddigger theory more likely in large age gap relationships? think older women with younger men are getting more and more common these days though!

  16. Dear former friend sulz, It doesn’t matter to me how old/young dates are–I think everyone should do what they want to, in general, and I am NOT telling you any current or previous celebrity crushes, but I did play your game! I used to like you!
    [dsiclaimer: still love sulz, of course–just trying to make a point. The game is…stimulating!]

    sulz: haha, for a moment was like, former friend?? what did self do?! hahaha….

    why don’t want to tell your crushes? you must have some really embarrassing ones from the sound of it! :mrgreen:

  17. I feel like i’m really missing out with this game.. I can’t get past level three, probably relate to me using the pad on my laptop rather than a proper mouse..

    sulz: hehe, you are missing out! if you can get a computer with a mouse don’t forget to try it. πŸ˜‰

  18. Agh on the game. Is there different face for different levels?

    Age is just a number to some extend. Love knows no boundaries. Whoaa..

    How young or old depends on maturity, not age.

    I remember the teacher-student case. If they were both older when the guy wasn’t studying, it would not be such a big hoo ha.

    But 12 is certainly too young to have a sexual relationship.

    sulz: hehe, a bit contradictory wor, if maturity is not depending on age, then even if he’s 12 it doesn’t mean he’s too young… πŸ˜‰ but you’re right if he was older it wouldn’t even matter! so technically age is just a number…

    the game only have that face on the last level, think. the lower levels don’t have a face, it goes back to the start instead.

  19. FUCKing hell!!! 😯

    (yes, I just played the game)

    sulz: hahaha… another one who swore! πŸ˜›

  20. http://xkcd.com/314/

    Xkcd did the maths. That makes it official.

    And I played your game and it almost killed me. I am very hungover and don’t need that kind of scare.
    Curse you, curse you in the ear.
    (I also laughed, so don’t worry, I don’t mean it.)

    I think age is much less important than ‘stages’. Like leaving home, or setting off for work, leaving education or starting to ‘settle down’ or career driven or whatever. People need to be in the same approximate stage of their life of troubles arise. Still hungover, so can’t be more eloquent than that.
    Sozzle

    sulz: hahaha! curses prove you’re very much alive (albeit hungover)! :mrgreen:

    some people may go through certain stages in life and some may skip certain stages. does that make a difference then?

    sozzle? nonconformists version of toodles? haha…

  21. I got the face when I messed up on level 3. Good thing I don’t have a heart condition! (though perhaps I have one now…)

    As for 80-something man/woman marrying 20-something man/woman … love? Reminds me of that whole Ann Nicole Smith debacle.

    I think men are more interested in having much younger partners because it makes them feel like they’re still virile and manly and not as old as they really are. Once most women reach ‘a certain age’ they are more likely to be comfortable with who they are and don’t have that ol’ competitive thing going on.

    Again, Hollywood perpetrates this image. Think of Harrison Ford, Michael Douglas, Jack Nicholson, etc … they are almost always paired up with women young enough to be their daughters, if not their granddaughters.

    And Demi Moore looks like she’s undergone the nip & tuck knife more than once already. Another double standard. Her face looks 40-something but her body has definitely been surgically enhanced.

    You see Harrison, Jack and Michael going in for surgical make-overs? No way. Because men are allowed to get old, fat and bald and Hollywood tells us they are still sexy.

    sulz: nah, you just said that to make self feel bad! πŸ˜‰ hmm, so hollywood is endorsing large age gap relationships, but mostly for the men? yeah, that’s about right! … we need more demi moores and ashton kutchers!

  22. Oh, I love those Xkcd cartoons, Alabaster! πŸ™‚

  23. I have feelings for this woman who has been a friend of our family for many many years. She practically watched me grow up and i’ve always admired her. She, my mother, and I, would joke about how we were going to get married someday. The only problem is that I was serious about having those feelings. Until Thanksgiving Day, I assumed she didn’t have those types of feelings, but it turns out that she does! The only problem she sees is that our age is 10 years apart. We have so much in common and already know everything about each other.. She gets along perfect with my family and everyone would accept us if we were to date. We have long talks, hold hands, but have yet to share our first kiss. I guess I just want to find a way to show her that we could both be good for each other. That the age shouldn’t matter. I feel she is worried also about me getting emotionally attached to her. I don’t know if she realizes tho, but I’ve been attached since we met. I am 22 years old, soon to be 23. And she is 32 years old, soon to be 33. How can I convince her that age shouldn’t be a factor? To show her that age difference doesn’t determine how much someone could grow to love another? Please Help me?

    sulz: only she can get past the age factor by herself, but you can encourage her and just be there for her always. if you’re sincere, be patient and wait for her. hopefully she can see that she’ll be missing out if she doesn’t give you and her a chance. maybe she needs to read posts like this too? πŸ˜‰

  24. A girl I know just informed us that she is dating an older man. She is 19 and he is 46. That is a 27 year gap. She just started college and has so many things going for her. He of course does not have to stress too much over money. He is her boss too at her part time job. I am perplexed because the age gap is like me finding a 30 year old for my 3 year old daughter and by the time she is 19 the same age difference sinero applies and I am 29 myself right now. This guy already has three children…the oldest is 16…yes, just 3 years younger than she is. If they are truely happy and if I knew for sure the money was not a playing factor for any side in this relationship, then I could deal with the idea a little better. But looking back on her past 4 relationships, I have gotten disheartened that it is the money she is after. I respect the fact that she is an adult, but I do not approve or agree with. I am entitled to my opinion, but it just bothers me that from an outside perspective there appears that there are not the truest of intentions there but instead hidden agendas. How do I or should I state my opinion/thoughts on the issue or let time play its part?

    sulz: personally speaking, no amount of bitching or advising about her older boyfriend would convince her to let him go; she has to realise that herself. all you can do is be there for her, try not judge her, and constantly keep in touch with her and her relationship. that’s not saying you’re going to approve of everything she does; maybe when there’s a chance you can voice out your opinion that will make her think, without ruining the relationship you have…

    it’s a tricky position because she has to come to realise herself if she really has true feelings for this man. so all the best to you…

  25. anonymousbroad said:

    Currently I am dating a man who is in his mid 40s. I am 21. I am not dating him for the money like the person above me. I am pretty financially set having a part-time job that pays fairly well and being a caretaker at a building that also pays me and gives me a free apartment. I’m also in college. But anyway the point is, I’m dating this man because we have a connection, not because I’m looking for money or a father figure. In fact I’ve never felt so into a guy before, and I’ve dated several. Who knows if it’ll work out in the long-run, neither of us are singing the Wedding March or anything, but for now it’s nice and fun.

    sulz: good for you! hope things will turn out the way you want it to. πŸ™‚

  26. I made a post above about the woman who had a 10 year difference from me. She was worried about the age difference and you told me that I should wait for her… well i did that and it paid off!! Her and I are now in a relationship and have wonderful chemistry and even a sex life! hehe. I couldn’t thank you enough for your advice.. I am more that satisfied. πŸ™‚

    sulz: am really glad things worked out for the both of you. πŸ™‚ hope it’ll be a happy and lasting relationship!

  27. i kind of lucked out in avoiding this as the gal I married is 1 year older than me, but she does look about 20 years younger and still gets carded for things like video games (they wouldn’t sell her Grand Theft Auto for my birthday a few years ago).

    I’m not sure if there is a “too young” (besides being of legal age, of course) or “too old”, but this did remind me of a person I read about in my hometown while still in high school back in 1994.

    In my hometown of Elkton, MD, there was a 90-something woman who had once been married to a veteran of the Battle of Gettysburg, fought 131 years previous. How could that be, you ask? She married the man when he was in his late 90’s and she was just 17. He died shortly thereafter. Apparently it was a show of honor for young Southern women to mary former Confederate veterans…..and it was also an opportunity for struggling families to gain some cash through the pensions the vets were receiving. Strange but true.

    sulz: haha, that’s funny. and yes you’re a one lucky man.

    wow, that’s one strange story! doesn’t sound like a marriage out of love than a marriage out of… honour? convenience?

  28. Very inreseting discussion here… Just recently met a 23yo girl in a night club and me being in a good pary mood introduced myself as 29yo. I got her in few minutes πŸ˜€ and we had a wonderful night together followed with some kisses. Next day I gave her a call and had to tell her the whole story. I am 36, separated(to be divorced), have 2 kids living with the mum… Told her, I give you time to think over if you want to see me again. She did not want to take any time and she drove 600km(aprox. 400miles) to see me the next weekend. Now we see us every weekend for over a month and we travel both in turns. She could move in with me for duration of 8-9 weeks in the next months to do some practicum related to her study. That could be a real test for us but as of now things are going very well. Phisically there is now big difference among us, I am top fit and she is top pretty ;-). Things seem promising in bed and outside of it for now. Yes, an age difference of this quantity(13y) is for me somewhere on the border line between happiness and hell. But let’s see which way it is going to go for us. I am nervous but happy as despite the difference we are in large a very good match :-).

    Cheers,
    chris

    sulz: that’s a large age gap between the two of you. but that’s nothing much to do with love. all the best. πŸ™‚

  29. So, this popped back into my my comments section, and I realised that I didn’t answer your question. In actuality, Sozzle is a weird bastardisation of Sorry. It’s just one of these things I do…like say summat when I mean something.

    One of the best things about the English language is the ability of Englishmen to fuck with it as often as possible (if you’ll excuse my French). Just look at that Shakespeare bastard….absolute wanker, stealing ideas all over the place, yet he genuinely invented approximately half of one of the wordiest languages on the planet.

    Funny that.

    Anyway, in more relevant news, I’ve realised that I’m glad this is your blog and not mine. Because where I’m more likely to offer a supposedly witty retort and mild abuse to someone, you offer kindness and words of support.

    That means you, in the parlance of our times, rock.

    Well done. And thanks

    sulz: oooh, sozzle means sorry… knew about summat though (am a mild anglophile, heh).

    am more nice than naughty or witty, so that’s the only way know how to reply people really!

    awww, thanks! *hugs* you’re pretty awesome yourself too. πŸ˜‰

  30. I usually date men older than myself. My biggest age gap was when I was 18 and the man was 36. Didn’t trouble me, but I think my parents would have had something to say if they had known…
    I would date men younger than me if I met one I liked. It’s just a number, but I think that since I am in my early thirties now (gulp) I think mid-twenties would be the yougest I would date now. The oldest I would date would probably be late forties maybe early fifties at a push!

    Alabaster is right about us English loving to mess with our language. But where I live “Sozzle” does not mean sorry, it means to be drunk! So in the one country there are different meanings for the same word depending on which region you live in…

    sulz: my, that’s a huge gap, twice your age! but like you said, it’s just a number… πŸ˜› haha, and i thought legless means drunk! but yeah, i used to read english mags on a regular basis as a kid and there are lots of interesting words in the english’s slang!

  31. I’m seeing a girl/women who is 30 and I’m 19 going to school, we have known each other for awhile but just started getting serious, she had a previous bf who she has a daughter with, during their relationship he was abusive to her so she got over it and left him, I have no problems with ex but just avoid him…I want to take her serious but feel like threw society it does feel like a joke, I honestly care for her and love her but don’t knw why she is with me when she could find someone richer

  32. I am currently dating a 33year old and i am 18, some of my friends are completly against it and the ones who know him. Don’t mind. Tho I am mature and he is immature so I guess we even out at 25 lol but we don’t even notice the gap when we are together..

  33. I prsnly cy age z da numba bt also t dpndz on typ of luv u in n wat responsibity a prsn can hndl whch we cal maturity

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