The other day had read a blog of a classmate. It was thoughtful, eloquent, and everything that she is not in person. Reading her blog, you’d think she’s a really nice girl. Knowing her as a classmate, she has a lazy, lackadaisical, can’t-be-arsed attitude towards her studies. She so fucking doesn’t deserve the scholarship just because she was lucky to have good grades in the first semester, of which our class was judged upon as a criteria to give scholarship to 3 students who performed well academically. But that is a rant long and oft repeated by self to people who have the misfortune to be of listening range when am reminded of it. Will never get over that, but let’s not bore you with that story.
Anyway, the point am trying to make is that the persona she projects in her blog is so different than the persona she projects as a classmate. Am not saying that one is less authentic than the other (am also not saying that’s she a horrible person, just studies-wise); after all, different mediums of communication brings out different sides to each of us. Am not saying that she created this person intentionally either… or is she?
The thing with blogs is that, short of the event of a reader equipped with knowledge of psychology or discourse analysis that he or she can analyse your attitude by your words, we bloggers really paint our own pictures. We choose which side we want to portray to the world. Yes, we blog because there are some things we can’t share with our friends, or because it’s cathartic, or because we do want to share with our friends in a different way, but do you realise that most of the time you choose to reveal the good side of you?
Yes, of course it’s natural to do so. We do it when we meet people offline too. But it’s so much easier to create a fabulous persona online, don’t you think? You don’t have to be judged by your looks, or your voice, or your body size, etc. You don’t even have to be judged by your words because you can take all the time in the world to choose the right words and come off as a thoughtful, witty person, when in fact in the real world you’re a stuttering, fumbling bozo. Who’s deep down inside thoughtful and witty, of course.
So that’s why am always putting self down when you bloggerdygeeks compliment self on a well-written post, or a thought-provoking post, or a funny quip. It’s because sometimes feel like that’s not really self, even though it did come from self. Does that make sense? It’s like… this online persona, as much as it is a part of self, it is still very much different from self in person. Am not as articulate, am not as witty, am not as wacky in person as am in blog. (Some readers who have spoken to self via meebo might be able to attest to that.) Yet am articulate, am witty, am as wacky because where the hell did this come from then if it didn’t come from self??
Yeah, am too deep for self sometimes. Haha!
Want to say hi to thescoundrel and thank him for his absolutely lovely e-card and xmas wishes. Read them yourself!
Here are a few Christmas wishes for Sulz:
Life is the most valuable treasure bestowed to mankind by God
Far more valuable than wealth, gold or jewels
Each person’s path is unique even when shared
And the individual sweeping the street is as essential as the king on his throne
God’s secret to life is simple – live it
May your life always keep you overflowing with its wonder
May your obstacles – guide you to value the wisdom of life
May your heartaches and sorrow – direct you towards happiness
May the evil and hate you encounter – teach you love
May your darkest fears – deliver you courage to persist
May the lowest points of your life – inspire you to succeed
May your defeats – instruct you in the strength of family and God
May those lessons in life make your journey a marvel instead of a struggle
And may your lessons in life become a beacon of guidance – lighting the dark for others
Merry Christmas and may your blogging life be long and joyful.