blogging gobbledygook and such

When do you give up?

People say you should give it your best shot. Because that way, even if you… ‘fail,’ at least you know you tried; things didn’t work out the way you wanted them to and perhaps there’s a reason for it (or at least you’d like to think so). In every cloud there’s a silver lining, and a rainbow at the end and all that, right?

Sometimes people say, if at first you don’t succeed, dust yourself up and try again… (Aaliyah, anyone?) Yeah, who says things has to work out the first time around? Otherwise how did the saying third time’s the charm came about? Some people take longer than others to achieve something… but they achieve it in the end through perseverance and faith in themselves.

But sometimes… you’re only kidding yourself. Like auditioning for American Idol when you’re tone deaf. Like wanting to be a model when you’re only five feet three. (No, that’s not self’s deeply-harboured secret – am five feet one, for starters. :mrgreen: ) Mean… logically, practically, it’s impossible to be a model when you’re physically lacking. Maybe hand model lah… but not a catwalk model, or a model in the conventional sense.

Do you give up then? Do you bury that dream because it’s never going to happen; too many obstacles, growing sense of frustration each time you hit a roadblock in fulfilling your dream? Or do you keep the faith, trudge on through the hard times, and never stop hoping that you’d get lucky one day? Because there are people in life who’ve been told they should give up on their dream, only for them to achieved that said dream in the end…

Sure, you could always choose another dream to achieve, but that’s not the point. We’re talking the one dream you’ve ever had in your life, the one thing that you could die happy immediately after getting it. The kind of dream that you lie in bed thinking about it, the kind that you daydream during a boring class, the kind either everybody who knows you knows about it, or the kind that only your closest friends know as one of your deepest secrets.

If you choose to continue pursuing the dream that’s most unlikely to happen, would it be considered as dwelling on something that’s unattainable, or would it be considered as persevering your faith in yourself?

And if you choose to give it up, would it be the best, practical option – cut your losses, move on in life, plenty of things to fill your cup with – or would it be a waste? A dream shattered, disillusioned!

Comments on: "When do you give up?" (14)

  1. I think you should pursue any dream you want. There are short models for example.

    To not follow up on something because it seems impossible to do just means that you’re setting yourself barriers, that you’re not making an effort or trying. Always follow your dreams whatever they are.

    As for the phrases, well, they’re all just a bit of rubbish everyone says! Kind of like white lies to make people feel better. πŸ™‚

    sulz: haha, really am not looking into modelling! just an example, you know… πŸ˜›

    so you should never ever give up? what if it’s a case of a guy who’s hopelessly in love with a girl who’s clearly not interested in him?

    haha, so you don’t believe clichΓ©s are true? πŸ˜‰

  2. Even then I think that he should still pursue it. Obviously not to the extend that he appears to be a stalker, but still trying it.

    There are limits though, with love it’s a taboo if she is in a relationship/marriage/etc for example. Then he should respect it and move on.

    I mean you are effectively right in your post there are some things that are beyond out control, like no matter what I will never be able to compete at the Olympics no matter how much I’d train. [I don’t do sports, just an example].

    Still, realistic dreams should be pursued.

    sulz: hehe, now we know what to tell a guy who’s interested in you in the future. πŸ˜›

    that’s the thing, what is a realistic dream? would realistic have different meanings to different people? would the conventional sense of ‘realistic’ be a good judge of deciding whether to continue pursuing your dream or otherwise?

    guess it all comes down to the person’s ability to let go of a dream; mean, even if it’s considered ‘unrealistic,’ if he can’t let go he wouldn’t, yes?

    but of course, as you said, if something seems possible, no reason to quit trying unless you decide enough’s enough…

  3. Sometimes you can take the long route round. Like Cj says, there are short models, and there are fat models and old models, but why not go one step further, try and reinvent the whole beauty industry and the commodification of the body just so that you can get work as a model. That’s what I’d have to do (if that was my dream), but then, what’s wrong with having big dreams. I think there’s a difference between dreams and goals though. You can’t expect to end up in your dream situation, whatever that is, but you should always have your eyes on stuff out of reach, as well as the stuff that you can make if you try.
    Realism is good, but temper it with a kind of optimism.
    I don’t expect to genuinely and dramatically change the world, but I hope to make it better for those immediately around me. With a bit of knock on effect and lots of people making small differences, the world could be brighter, happier and more unusual for everybody.

    That’d be cool. And I’m not going to give up on that just because there’s no chance of it happening.

    Any sense in that?

    sulz: hmm, that’s a good way to go about: Realism is good, but temper it with a kind of optimism! that sums up what you’re saying really well. πŸ™‚

  4. Lots of questions that I would like they had an answer. Sorry for the bad comment, but I was just wondering these things today while cleaning my room – which has nothing to do with it… just… Yeah, it would be good if every single dream could come true. But I guess trying and trying and never giving up also means that the final result could be fail. Is the dream that fulfilling that makes it worth it to go until the last consequences with big chances of failure?

    sulz: negative comments are allowed just as much as positive ones here! yeah, that’s the thing that gets to self – what if you do ‘fail’ in the end? that you don’t achieve what you wished to? by prolonging your hope are you delaying and denying your ‘failure,’ or it is faith that the time will come when you can achieve it?

    well, guess perspective plays an important part on how you see this!

  5. When do you give up on your dreams?

    People come in all sizes and in many beautiful forms but, know this, you cannot “be” beautiful unless you believe in your “self” and your dream.

    Hold fast to your dream. You are as beautiful as you feel. Visualize yourself as being what you want you to be like and visualize yourself doing what you want to do. Then commit.

    “In the universe there is an immeasurable, indescribable force which shamans call intent, and absolutely everything that exists in the entire cosmos is attached to intent by a connecting link.”– Carlos Castaneda

    The word intention connotes that the self is the initiator, who makes a deliberate choice to act on a creative impulse. It is linking this β€œintent” of ours to cosmic energy that leads to a birthing into the physical world β€” a manifestation.

    Forming intent by directing your thoughts is the first step in transforming any dream into reality. The moment you commit and begin to creatively visualize what you really want in your life – it will manifest.

    sulz: meh, does everyone think self’s secret desire is to really become a model?? just an example, really!!

    but yes, thank you for your inspirational words. πŸ™‚

  6. lovelyloey said:

    I have multiple “Dreams” (now I wonder if I have multiple personalities). Some days I dream that I can speak to and understand killer whales and I’ll become a whale trainer; some days I dream that I will become vvvv famous make up artist like Bobbi Brown; some days I dream of being a celebrity chef like Nigella.
    For me, “dreams” are things that are unlikely to come true, and I wouldn’t actively pursue (then again I have never actively pursued a dream before). I’m a deal-with-life-as-it-comes person; since my hobbies and interests change all the time, it’s hard to have ONE dream, ya?

    sulz: well, some people have many dreams and some have only that one dream, you know? πŸ™‚ personally, have several dreams too: one is to become a teacher/lecturer, another is to become a librarian or own a bookshop, and another one is to have a family. am self doing anything to make them come true? err, not directly as such, but hopefully would get there in the days and years to come.

  7. My personal opinion is that the one who dreams is the one who does something different and becomes great. But there’s a certain risk factor involved. Many people who dream don’t succeed in life, even after trying ten thousand million times. And for a fact, everyone dreams. Nobody is born to work in the biscuit factory or make clothes. Everyone has certain fantasies and wishes and the people who pursue them bravely become successful. A bit of luck is involved too.

    But when do you know it’s time to give up? Well, I don’t know. That’s why you should be prepared to have an alternate path in life. Do something which will help you survive even if you don’t achieve your dream. For example, I wish to be a pianist but I’m working on getting a degree because I know there could be better people than me and I might never succeed. When you have a backup plan ready, you’ll be more confident in yourself and less afraid of failure.

    Going after a girl is completely different than all other dreams. This is where you can’t have a backup plan and you’ve got to give up if the other person isn’t interested in you. There’s no logic trying to force them into the relationship because ultimately you’ll end up getting depressed and will embarrass yourself. Going after a girl like a bull after a red cloth works only in movies I tell you, not in real life.

    sulz: do you really want to be a pianist?? didn’t even know you played the piano!

    you have a realist view of this, am kind of inclined to agree with you actually. funny analogies – bulls and biscuit factories! πŸ˜†

  8. If not achieving your dream is making you miserable and depressed, it’s time to loosen up a little and laugh at yourself. For example if a manuscript is rejected look at it and laugh at your mistakes and then try again.
    So hang on to your dream, but be happy. The last is most important.

    sulz: such a simple solution, but yeah, it can do wonders if applied the right way! πŸ™‚

  9. Yes, I’ve wanted to be a pianist for a long time. I haven’t played much of the piano but have played quite a lot of the keyboard and both are very similar. I’ve always wanted to be Chris Martin, the lead singer of Coldplay. He’s amazing at the piano and sings very well too. And to top all that, he’s got a super sense of humor.

    sulz: oh, that kind of pianist. thought you wanted to be a classical pianist! had played the piano until grade 8. *shudder* never again!

    he’s got a great-looking wife too! πŸ˜›

  10. Yeah, that kind of a pianist. Basically a part of a cool band. I try writing songs too sometimes but it doesn’t work unless you’ve got an idea about how it’s going to sound like. Maybe some years from now I will actually make a band. I know the people who I want to be my band members. A person who’s on the drums, one lead guitarist and one on the bass guitar. The crap part though is that I’m on talking terms with only one of them now.

    And yep, Gwyneth Paltrow is really pretty! πŸ˜‰

    sulz: well, there’s still time to find other people to form a band with. πŸ˜‰ or join an existing band who needs a pianist/keyboardist.

    best of luck!

  11. I’m one of those people who thinks that you should always pursue your dreams. Because, when it comes down to it, what else are you on the planet for? I only get one life, and I’d rather spend that life doing what I enjoy than doing things that are more easily possible but less worthwhile!

    That said, you don’t always get your dreams, but it’s got to be worth trying, hasn’t it? You don’t want to throw your life away, but nobody ever achieved anything by doing nothing about it!

    ish is right though – this is probably not a philosophy that can be applied to love.

    Gee, I’m depressing myself… I’d better shut up now. πŸ™‚

    sulz: love troubles? πŸ˜‰ well, a life of hope sounds much better than a life without one for sure, and if by pursuing your dreams without giving up makes it so, then guess you should be a happier person as a result!

  12. I think that can be quite a dangerous way of looking at it, Bobby. Having only one life and making the most of it is [IMO of course!] like saying ‘Everything or nothing’ and ‘no matter what’ [sulz, you’ve started me on the phrases now!!].

    I think we all or at least most of us have that ‘off switch’, the point where we know we’d go too far anf we realise that the dream isn’t doable and we need to stop. I mean it’s logic, right? I’m dreaming of flying, yet I wouldn’t jump off a building to, but rather do a bungeejump instead [just an example!].

    I guess what I’m trying to say with this is that we / our brain / common sense stops us and we make compromises that at least have parts of our dreams come true.

    Either way, this comment doesn’t make much sense, I just can’t explain it!

    am sure b0bbyg gets what you’re trying to say. guess something like this is up to the individual. for one person keeping on to that hope makes him happy, as his pursuits to achieve his dream does. for another, realising the impracticality and focusing on other great things in life one can achieve makes him feel better, that there’s more to life. so in the end… do what makes you happy, perhaps? πŸ™‚

  13. My opinion is that we should not give up on any dreams. There is always a way for some form of them to happen. What I would rather see people do (and myself, too, more) is to ask “Why?” Why do we want to achieve a particular thing? If we really look at it, and keep asking “why” each time we get an answer, then eventually it usually comes down to a way we want to feel. I would encourage us to get to that feeling as quickly as possible.
    For example, now that we all know you want to be a high-fashion supermodel, sulz, πŸ˜‰ if you asked yourself “why”, you might say you’d enjoy the status, the money, and the clothes! If the modeling isn’t happening as quickly as you’d like, then ask what else would give you those same feelings. Ohhh, ramble, ramble, ramble…

    sulz: sigh, if ever die in some horrific crash, shall be known as the girl who wanted to be a model. πŸ˜• well, lots of people have that a story behind that one dream or dreams.

    guess maybe one could tweak the dream, as you said. πŸ™‚ like if you can’t be a model, you could replicate the feeling of being one by doing your own glamour photoshoots. :mrgreen:

  14. baptizedbyice said:

    When do you give up? You don’t. Ever.

    Any dream is reachable if the dreamer wants it bad enough and wants it for the right reasons. Of course, some people fulfill their dreams without effort for the comepletely wrong reasons, but for the hard to get, painfully far, live changing dreams, perseverence and persistence are always necessary. Any difficult dream requires an amount of effort that many people do not have the time and energy to committ. Delayed gratification has become the iron cage or humanity. Neverless, the people who achieve are never lucky. “Luck” is when opportunity meets preparation.

    To have fought for something makes getting it so much more beautiful. Fighting for the dream is what makes it worthwhile. Humans are rarely satisfied with what is handed to them, regardless of what we say. And in the end, if you do not reach the dream you started out with, chances are you will have found another one in the fight.
    I would have to agree with Teddy Roosevelt:

    “It is not the critic who counts, not the one who points out how the strong man stumbled or how the doer of deeds might have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred with sweat and dust and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who, if he wins, knows the triumph of high achievement; and who, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory or defeat.”

    sulz: that’s one persuasive argument you put forth, coupled with a very inspiring quote! πŸ™‚

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