blogging gobbledygook and such

I absolutely cannot stand people who are so absorbed in their own views that they cannot accept other people’s views and respect them.

Even more I absolutely unconditionally cannot accept is that these same people sing a different tune about the same issue if they are discussing it with their friends.

Which means they are fucking hypocrites. To be so adamant about their own stand when discussing with people who are not ‘friends’ per se, but in front of their friends, they pretend to be ‘understanding’ and ‘accepting’ of other people’s views, when in actual truth they only see themselves as the right ones.

And I cannot, cannot tolerate people, who after being pointed out that they have a wrong attitude or approach to things in life, refuse to admit that they are wrong and create excuses or change to the subject of your own flaws. So they’ll always end up ‘superior’ after a fight.

This is what Malaysians call a kiasu attitude – kiasu in Hokkien means afraid to lose. When you are kiasu, you always have to be right, you always have to have the best of everything, you always have to be number one. Dee came up with a more derogatory term – maisu, which means refuse to lose in Hokkien. A maisu person is worse than a kiasu because the maisu person makes you look like a kiasu, that’s how manipulative he or she can be.

To all the kiasus out there, here’s the newsflash: admitting that you are wrong does not make you lose face. It makes you a humble and better person. Accepting other people’s views even if you don’t agree with them does not make you look weak for agreeing. It makes you a considerate and understanding individual. You actually gain respect from others this way.

This is my personal observation: I find this attitude only in people who are older than me. It is as if my age is an indication of my wisdom. I may not be the wisest person in the world, but I have lived, I have experienced, and I have learnt. We can learn from anybody, even little children. The question is: is your mind open enough to accept lessons from anybody regardless of sex, age and race?

Comments on: "Don’t ever, ever be a fucking kiasu" (10)

  1. Right on. Well said and timely as hell. You have your readers, but are those this is for going to see it too? Better yet, take the advice?

    sulz: this post is for someone who doesn’t even know how to switch the computer on, let alone visit my blog. thank goodness. πŸ˜› but well, if anyone who reads this feels a stirring in their conscience, then they ought to give this food for thought then. myself included.

  2. Well, there are two ways to win an argument. One, you’re on the right side. Or two, you’re stubborn.

    The problem with these people is their ego, which blinds them to the point that they will vociferously defend their stand despite knowing they’re wrong. Still others go further; they automatically assign the value “correct” to their viewpoint like a preprogrammed bot.

    Well, the world will be a better place without them. But maybe even if a ‘kiasu’ comes across this post, he/she will probably mutter, “bah, you bitch”, and take their ego to their graves.

    sulz: haha, what an ironic way to look at it, but yes you’re right! we can’t reach through people who refuse to be reached… they risk destroying themselves, but since they don’t see it that way, they can never see the truth.

    it all boils down to perspective! relative! πŸ™‚

  3. So basically you’re trying to say that kiasu is an over enthusiastic person who refuses to accept that he’s wrong right?

    I don’t think I’m a kiasu which automatically implies I can’t be a maisu. I can be a di*khead when I come to proving my point sometimes but when I know I’m wrong, I accept it. It’s better than people calling you kiasu behind your back I believe. My friend has a cat named Pisu. It was rhyming with kiasu and maise so I thought I’d mention it. I know I’m lame, see I accepted that? πŸ˜›

    Btw, does that maisu kiasu guy for whom this post is accept that he cannot switch on the computer? Or is he hellbent on trying to prove that he’s a computer geek?

    sulz: yeah, you could say that. we definitely have moments where we totally believe in our point of view, and that’s not wrong. it’s when you refuse to accept that there could be other points of view. you don’t have to agree with them, but you should accept them with an open mind and see from where they’re coming from. that’s the essence of the post.

    haha, does pisu means something? the two syllables in that name reminds me of two words in english… πŸ˜›

    oh, the issue i was ranting about has nothing to do with the fact the person can’t switch the computer on. it was how the person thinks nobody needs a cell phone on the basis that that person doesn’t use one. πŸ™„ (ie. i don’t need it so you don’t need it either. uh, hello, there’s something called various circumstances??)

  4. this post is for someone who doesn’t even know how to switch the computer on, let alone visit my blog.

    Wasn’t who I was thinking of then.

    Sulz, can you please check your AKismet spam queue? I sent some pings over this way and they appear to have not shown up.

    sulz: okay, i found them along with three other legitimate comments!! thanks for the ping. πŸ™‚

    well, like i said, if people have conscience, and it pricks them while reading it, then they have to stop and think if anything in their lives could be described that way…

  5. LOL, I know which 2 syllables and what English word you’re talking about. But I’m not gonna elaborate on that because there’s a chance that friend might read this and she’ll totally kill me if she does.

    I don’t know if Pisu means anything. She’s romanian so maybe it means something in their language. I don’t really think so though.

    sulz: it’s naughty, but i couldn’t help it. πŸ˜›

  6. lovelyloey said:

    Hm, I never used kiasu as a noun. In Singapore we use it strictly as an adjective. And we don’t associate it with anything so profound as in fear of losing an argument or fear of being seen as less wise as someone younger. For us it’s quite strictly tied to material things – like fear of LOSING OUT at an all-you-can-eat buffet, etc.

    But seriously speaking, the Chinese culture is strongly tied to this belief of not talking back to your elders because they are always right, because, in the typical Chinese idiom, they have consumed more salt than you have consumed rice (one wonders if they are what, trying to mummify themselves?)

    sulz: that’s probably the original meaning of the word, but language evolves, maybe it will expand to other such spirit of competitiveness? (is there such a word as competitiveness?? or competitivity? haha.)

    sure they consumed more salt than you have rice, but doesn’t mean they have eaten the same salt or rice you have eaten, if you get what i’m trying to say… and that idiom is quite condescending towards the younger generation. as i’ve said, different people have different experiences. doesn’t mean you’re older means you’ve experienced whatever i have! hor? haha.

  7. lovelyloey said:

    Yeah it’s competitiveness.
    Ya, but see the older Chinese generation are condescending to the young because it’s in their culture to do so.

    sulz: true lah… i guess to me, as the younger generation, respect is not given, but earned.

  8. I think I may be guilty of being a kiasu sometimes. I’ve noticed that it’s best not to rock the boat when your bosses or people above you at work start talking about “issues” and you disagree with them. It’s almost like alliances are formed that way. I just keep my opinions to myself, but from time to time will nod or go “uh-huh” in false agreement even if I strongly disagree.

    In my youth I was a “boat rocker”, but I’ve been tamed a bit after years of hard knocks that way.

    Actually, I change my mind on things quite frequently now that I think about it.

    sulz: i’m a bit like you. probably not so much because i’m more chicken, heh. :mrgreen:

  9. My father wouldn’t come to our wedding 24 years ago because to him it was “wrong” to marry outside of the Catholic church…….there was and still is no point in trying to discuss with him anything that he does not deem as his way of doing things.
    I was brought up with respect your elders no matter what…..while I brought my son up with your idea of respect is earned. He is now able to get on with all ages because I feel he was always respected as an individua

    sulz: wow, this is a coincidence; i know someone whose father is threatening not to attend his child’s wedding because he doesn’t approve of his child’s significant other.

    well, i’m generally respectful to most elders even when i don’t feel like it. i do admit though i have been disrespectful.

    you raised your son very well, i must say! πŸ˜‰

  10. Don’t know what happened to the “l”

    sulz: haha, don’t worry. happens to the best of us! πŸ™‚

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