When I am heading towards a door to enter or exit, I always wait for the person in front of me (whether on my side or the other) to move first. I am usually mildly surprised if a guy waits for me to go past the door instead, that I usually decline his offer to let me through first. I believe in gender equality. Which does not mean I think women are equal, or unequal, to men as such, but rather I do not see the need to underestimate or overestimate a person’s ability based on his or her sex. So since I am perfectly capable of opening doors myself, I do not see why you should open it for me. Though I do honestly appreciate the thought behind the gesture!
That said, I do like, enjoy, and appreciate chivary when I expect it. If I were on a date, I would expect a certain amount of chivalry displayed for me. I don’t think I would think highly of a guy who opens the door to a fancy restaurant and leaving me behind. I would think him terribly rude if he talks for more than a couple of minutes, should his phone ring in the middle of a date. I would think him… no, I would not think of him anymore if he were to drive off after dropping me home after the date at night without waiting to make sure I entered the house safely.
Ironically, if you do all that to me and you’re just a friend, I would not like it very much. I appreciate the thought, but I won’t like it. I’d feel as if you think me weak; that I am not perfectly capable to do all these myself. Of course I realise some guys are chivalrous by nature and do not have anything but the kindest intentions when they treat me like a lady. I guess I equate chivalry with romance, so if you opened doors for me, I’d be alarmed.
I think I like chivalry when there is a romantic intention behind it. It makes me feel like he only does this to me, because I’m special to him. Chivalry seems spoiled to me when I know the guy does not have romantic intentions; I do not feel deserved of such attention.
I wanted to write about chivalry and gender equality, if they are or are not mutually exclusive. Instead, I went off-tangent into my self-absorbed mode and wrote about what I feel of chivalry instead.
I like to talk about myself, but I don’t want to scare too many of you away. 😉
So yeah: chivalry & gender equality: are they mutually exclusive? Or not?