Am one of the most sensitive person self know. No matter how objective or well-meant your critiques are, will take it personally, despite being aware of the benevolent intentions of the critic.Am trying hard to not let it get to self personally. Guess it’s difficult when you’re a critical person yourself. It also doesn’t help when you have a relative who constantly criticises you, highlights your flaws until it seems that you are only full of flaws, and makes you feel so unworthy of yourself. It doesn’t help at all when some people around you offer criticism for the sake of criticising, without offering solutions or helping you get past your flaw or giving a fuck’s thought about how their offhand criticism affects self long after they forget the poisonous words they spewed. It doesn’t help even more when people in your life leave you, telling you it’s because you have this attitude problem or that, or even worse, not telling you what was your problem that drove them away, leaving you to wonder what the hell you did wrong. Maybe everything about you is wrong.
How do you offer criticism without getting people offended? How do you tell them, you want to say this because you care about them, without sounding like it’s just a placating line uttered to sound sincere because you’re actually not? How do you show, you want to say this because you love them, and you still love them despite this? And how do you handle it, when they flinch at your criticism and hate you for it? How can you love them, when you discover these flaws? How do you continue loving them, when they drive you away for knowing their flaws and hating themselves for it? How do you do that?
How do you accept criticism for its message, and not its motive?