blogging gobbledygook and such

Relationships

Bloggers ‘feel more connected’
Chee Chee Leung, Science Reporter
March 4, 2008 – 2:53PM

Blogging may help people feel happier and more satisfied with their friends, according to Melbourne researchers.

The findings, from researchers at Swinburne University of Technology, show that after two months, new bloggers felt more socially connected than those who did not blog.

Psychologist James Baker said this suggested that blogging could actually be good for people – helping them to feel part of a community.

“It makes people feel closer and more connected,” Mr Baker said.

“That’s good because there’s been a fair bit of press about the dangers of blogging … so you’d hope there’s some sort of benefit.”

The research, conducted by Mr Baker and Professor Susan Moore, is based on two surveys, with the first asking 134 new users of the social networking site MySpace whether or not they intended to blog.

The results, published in the latest edition of the journal CyberPsychology & Behaviour, showed people who intended to blog were more psychologically distressed than those who didn’t intend to blog.

They had higher levels of depression, anxiety and stress, were more likely to use self-blame and venting to cope and also less satisfied with the number of friends they had.

Two months later the researchers followed up 59 of the same group of MySpace users, this time comparing those who had blogged to those who had not.

The findings, which have been submitted to a journal, showed the bloggers were happier about the number of friends they had, both online and face-to-face, and were more likely to reach out to these friends for help.

‘They felt more socially integrated,” Mr Baker said. “They felt that their friends were a better fit and they connected better.”

The researchers are planning further research that will look at the experiences of a larger group of bloggers.

Blogging has taught me a whole lot, but it’s the relationships I made through blogging that really taught me the important lessons in life. I learnt that

1. I have to be responsible for my own words, and stand by my words.
2. people are actually interested in what I have to say.
3. people actually like me. For the way I am.
4. the more you open up yourself to people, the more love you can get in return.
5. it’s okay if people don’t agree with my point of view; it does not make them like me any less.
6. revealing your flaws will not drive your real friends away, but make them accept and love more of you.
7. I can be myself, even if it means being judged by others, because I have to be myself.
8. I deserve for good things to happen to me just as anyone else.
9. I can make people happy just by being happy myself, and by showing them that I care for and appreciate them.
10. I am actually… beautiful. In a way that only I can be and no else can.

*

And the best part about relationships? It’s that they cannot be bought.

i think buying relationships is something that will ultimately disappoint you because the beauty of relationships is that they cannot be bought. that’s what makes the sincerity, the authenticity of a relationship.

you are only in a relationship with someone, whether as a friend or lover or family member, because you want to. (other factors like blood relations and proximity notwithstanding, because the desire to form a relationship has to be there first in order to establish one.)

and that’s why i feel very blessed these days. i’ve made lots of awesome friends online, one of them being you. =)

– me

ps. Thanks Dave for the link to the article above! 🙂

Comments on: "Relationships" (14)

  1. Brilliant article and post this. And finally that’s one logical study they’ve done. Otherwise they are always doing studies as in how the internet makes you addicted, reserved and stuff like that. Finally someone talks about the benefits of blogging. Feels great to read that. And it’s completely true as well, I’m definitely a happier person than I was before I started blogging. It helps in many ways. One is that it helps you vent out your frustrations and express your happiness. And when people comment on that, it feels good. It doesn’t happen in real life because we don’t open up as much. And there’s always a chance that you can find someone who thinks like you and likes you. If not that, you get to know so many things from the blogs you read and you get to know so much about different people, their ways of living, their countries and so much more.

    And I agree with every single point you’ve mentioned. It’s great to have you as a friend too, Sulz. You’re teh absolute shit. 😀

    sulz: haha, that’s true. exactly, exactly! it’s really helped with my esteem and body issues, and at the moment i’m going through a rough patch with friends in college, but i don’t feel as lonely because they aren’t the only ones in my life, you know? and it feels great knowing that i have friends elsewhere who wants to be friends with me not because of proximity reasons but because they like me. 🙂

    you are full of teh shit to me too. :mrgreen: *hugs*

  2. Awesome. I like the list of things you’ve learned from blogging, because really, they’re very similar to the things I’ve learned myself.

    I can dare say my blog is what has kept me sane all this time, and a big tool for fighting my depression. It made me organize my own thoughts and realize that they were as valuable as any other opinion, which made it easier for me to defend them in real life.

    Blogger friends show a face they would probably not show as easily in real life, and I like most things I’ve learned from people and from myself.

    sulz: hmm, maybe you should recommend blogging as part of therapy at the psych ward you’re currently intern at. 😛 or have some places used blogging as part of therapy? blogging definitely helps when i’m feeling sad or angry and i need to say something about the issue without being judged for it. and you certainly learn how to rationalise yourself because others will be reading and commenting on your words.

    yeah, i feel blogging helps me connect on a deeper level. i mean, we don’t talk about stuff that we usually blog about, do we? and yet these are the stuff that we feel are important to us but can’t be shared with people in our lives for various reasons.

  3. Well of course blogging is “good for you.” After all it’s what brought all of us together! Just think, we’d have no idea who each other was if it weren’t for blogging. Where else could a Malaysian student and a Pennsylvania horse racing lover come together and talk about everything from rats to love? It’s simply magical, but it is somewhat addictive. Still, it beats sitting around watching tv! 🙂

    sulz: haha, that’s a good way to put it! i think it’s a healthier addiction to watching tv, that’s for sure. i mean, we’re interacting with real people, not the idiot box, haha.

  4. Yeah, I whole heartedly believe in blogging being good for us. If I never started blogging, I wouldn’t have met you sulz. And I can’t imagine that.

    sulz: aww *hugs* i’m glad to have known you too! 😀 and i hope we can stay friends for a long time more.

  5. lovelyloey said:

    Heh, I was just randomly thinking about how we “met” and I recall it being me commenting on how we wrote the same history of English (sort of) essay. Despite being in two different countries. 😀
    How far we’ve come aye!

    sulz: aye indeed. i remember i left a comment in your post about wanting to go backpacking in europe. that was the first time i realised the power of random commenting! haha. 😀

  6. Wonderful post!
    My take on blogging is this: it is a means of self-expression, and whether a person who blogs is lonely, depressed, etc depends very much on the person. and whether it helps the person in real life, also depends on too many other things. Overall though blogging is a wonderful platform to express things that are close to one’s heart.

    sulz: thank you. 😀 you’re right, i think blogging can be the ultimate tool of expression if you know how to use it to benefit yourself and those around you.

  7. Lovely post Sulz and agree with everything everyone has said. As a matter of fact I am going to take it further with a request that should any of your group of readers for whatever reason decide not to continue blogging…..and believe me I cannot imagine it……that they would keep in touch at times by email. I do not think it would happen here but CJ told me not to get too attached when I started blogging as some people stop…just like that!!! I know…..it is hard to comprehend.
    But it did happen with two people whose crafting blogs I was a regular on. No warning just a sudden ….I need to get on with real life and living …which is understandable but deciding not to reply to emails or comments on the final blog entry seemed a little cruel to me. These were small blogging communities so it was hard to see why it would be so especially since we had a relationship going by email as well. I think that craft blogs may be different to other blogs as essentially they are to showcase our work and if for whatever reason that work stops perhaps the blogs stop.
    I have been attempting to open my blog up a bit by including vintage shopping etc and I do not solely read craft blogs so hopefully won’t feel the impact again so much should one of my regulars simply drop off the face of the earth…that is what it felt like!

    sulz: thank you. 🙂 i’m the sort of person where i don’t lose touch with people but rather they don’t keep in touch with me, so i know what you must feel when that happens. i’ve had that experience with some blogging friends. it’s sad but like everything else in life, it happens and we just have to learn to move on. while i enjoyed the friendship, it was quite casual (since i feel i am closer to other blogging friends than them), so… i guess it is even easier to quit friendships online than it is offline. so we should always appreciate our online buddies because they are making an effort to stay connected with us! 🙂

    so i must say thanks for dropping by and commenting in my posts! 😀 i really appreciate it.

  8. hehe…

  9. @sulz: as do I.

  10. Yes,yes,yes blogging is beneficial! As KStaff said, how would we have known each other without it. I check on you and blog friends daily, more than I talk to real-life friends usually.
    Blogging has also given me an outlet for my thoughts and opinions that’s just…different than talking about them. I have learned much from you and others and I so appreciate that opportunity.
    I agree with some of MagikQuilter’s concerns. I commented on a another blog that I intend to leave instructions for someone to post if I’m unable to blog, or dead, or otherwise uncommunicative! 😉

    sulz: indeed! 😀 i have yet to plan that… i haven’t told anyone about my blog but i guess i should… i mean, it wouldn’t be very responsible of me if i suddenly drop dead and you’d be wondering what happened to me, eh? 😉

  11. Muse I am glad you said that last bit and not I but it is an extremely wise thing to do! Morbid but at our stage of life wise!!! I think it shows the esteem you hold for your blog friends that you would be considerate enough to do that.
    So it goes back to Sulz and what a great crowd of people she has gathered to her. I am on the fringes as do not want to cramp CJ’s style but rest assured am enjoying the posts when they come up and it is a highlight of my day. And I enjoy the proxy hugs too!

    sulz: gosh, thank you for the compliment! 😳 i honestly think you’re a really cool mom and cj should be proud of you, if anything! 😀

  12. Aw thanks Sulz…I know he is proud of me and likewise but there should be something that children, whatever the age have that is theirs alone, not their parents and as CJ and I are quite a bit alike we seem to get on with each other’s friends. As a matter of fact one of the great joys of my life has been when his school friends became adults and started to introduce me to their mates as their friend Kathleen. Of course it also means he can’t go down the street without my friends flirting with him!

    sulz: i think it’s lovely that you and him have mutual friends. 🙂 i’m sure he has friends of his own you may not know about. 😉 hahaha, i can certainly imagine cj being a magnet for mature women; it’s the beard. :mrgreen:

  13. lovelyloey said:

    Maybe a point for discussion; what if someone has an online persona that is so fabricated (and I do mean really entire different, not just a shy in real life vs outgoing online sort of difference) and that this person is so obsessed with his/her online persona that he/she sort of forgets how to live a real life? All of his/her “friends” are online people he/she’s never met before, he/she mail orders everything, works at home … is that considered quality life? Is that considered quality life in our present day society?

    sulz: of course not lah. you need an offline life more than you do an online. when it’s the reverse, i think there will be social effects to the individual.

  14. Ooooo…Great post. I am quite new to this blogging world but somehow its great. Love it. I was telling a friend some days back that I wish I knew earlier that blogging could be so great and so much fun. Nowadays I am so much busy at times that I am quite late at commenting. See…I almost missed two of your posts. 😦

    sulz: hey, when it comes to commenting, it’s never too late! i love comments, even when the post is years old. yeah, you definitely miss a lot if you don’t check every other day! but as long as you make an effort to blog, you should be able to keep in touch with the online community. 🙂

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