In the previous post have realised the need to be self’s own source of happiness. A question in the comments got self wondering: what makes self happy?
It would be nice to give the generic, true-to-a-certain-extent kind of answers, like sleeping in on a rainy morning, or curling up on the couch with a good book, eating a slice of decadent chocolate cake…
Yes, little things like that make sulz happy, but what really makes self truly happy? The kind of happiness where even after the thing that made you happy has long gone, it still puts a smile of your face? The kind of happiness where things that usually bother you, like traffic jams, make you not bothered at all but instead makes you start singing in the car, even though you don’t like how your voice sounds? The kind of happiness where you drift off to sleep with a smile, feeling safe and loved and knowing that that will still be there for you in the morning?
Am really happy when feel loved by the people self care most about. When get to share a private joke that makes us laugh till our stomachs and cheeks hurt and we cry. When get to spend the day with them at the mall, watching a movie or having lunch with a great conversation, the kind that makes you laugh every few minutes and annoy the other diners in the restaurant because they aren’t having what you’re having. When get to hear their secrets and they open up to self, and make self feel honoured to be shown this private side of them. When they tell self that they appreciate self’s friendship and that self mean a lot to them. When they don’t tell self that they appreciate self’s friendship, but know that they do by their actions.
That’s what makes self really happy.
And because I don’t really have that (I do sometimes, very fleetingly, never enough) at the moment, my college work is suffering very, very badly. I’m the sort of person who can’t separate personal matters from business. I”m also the sort of person who reads too much into things and take things way too personally. 👿 I think that’s a problem and I’m not sure how to solve that. If my personal life is suffering, my work will too. (I won’t make a good employee, that’s for sure, sigh.) Right now, I have
1. a research paper draft to complete and hand in by today, of which I am very, very far from finishing.
2. a group assignment about intercultural communication.
3. a group assignment comprising a report and a presentation.
4. a group assignment about Australian English.
5. to write a travel brochure in a foreign language.
6. to write a script in a foreign language (we’re doing a news report – I’m doing the weather report section, heh)
Except for no. 1, which was due last Friday and which I am not even close to completing (?!!!), the rest are due within the next 4 weeks. Including no. 1 too since the deadline for the draft was last week and I have to hand in the complete work by the end of the semester.
What the bleeding hell am I doing blogging this??? Start doing your fucking homework, sulz!!!