I would be the first person to tell you that I’m fat. It doesn’t really matter whether I am or not, point is, that’s what I’d say.
But, that doesn’t mean I see myself lowly for being fat. Well, at least not all the time. I may have flabby bits, but I also have curvy bits. (And anyway, I think no matter how in shape you are there’d always be something you’d prefer to have, like bigger lips or rounder butt or something.) I know my body well – how it looks, what goes with it, what doesn’t go with it. I have my own personal style, and I like my style, repetitive as it may be at times (like the ratio for black and non-black clothing is 1:1 – I just can’t help buying black ‘cos it hides the tummy so well; I must say that I’m buying more colours these days).
So even though I’m fat, my arms are flabbier than what I would like them to be, my legs are chunkier than what I would like them to be, my tummy sticks out even though I’ve been practising sucking my tummy in since teenage years, that doesn’t mean I don’t feel sexy. There are days when I feel like the fattest, most bloated being on earth, and on those days I couldn’t be bothered to dress up. I’d wear my ugliest, most unflattering things. Then there are days I feel I look good, and I want to dress up to fit my mood. It makes me feel happy, confident, pretty. So there are times when I’m underdressed or overdressed for the occasion simply because my mood dictated how I should dress. (But obviously I have enough sense not to dress provocatively if I’m walking about the streets for the most part of the day, alone, at night!)
I wear sexy clothes for me. If I feel like dressing up, I would do so because I want to look good for myself, not for anybody else. (It’s like people who wear nice underwear – which I do – ‘cos even though nobody sees it, you just feel good knowing what’s there yourself, you know?) I never wear something sexy for a guy. (Or rather, I have yet to. I may stand corrected in this claim if I have a significant other in future.) In fact, the brief time I had a boyfriend long, long time ago I would deliberately not dress up even though I wanted to because I didn’t want him to think I’m wearing whatever I wanted to wear for him. Besides, I’m not sexy all the time, so he should get used to the fact that I like wearing baggy t-shirts and pants when I feel like wearing them.
I don’t wear sexy clothes for a guy’s attention. I actually hate it when I think a guy’s staring at me because of what I wear. I also equally hate it when a girl does that. But I might wear sexy clothes to annoy Em, though, who believes that wearing sexy clothes is an invitation to rape. Excuse me, so if you bought a new Ferrari, would you keep it in the garage because if you flaunted it on the streets, it would be akin to inviting thieves to steal your car?!? 😕
And I was talking to a friend the other day, and I told him that there’s a difference between being sexy and wearing sexy clothes. As in, you could be wearing a trash bag but if you’re sexy (or is it if you feel sexy?) you’d still ooze sex appeal; you could wear the sexiest outfit and not look sexy at all. What do you think?