Friends will always have something in common, whether it’s personal interests, or relation by proximity. What I mean by friends is the generic meaning, not necessarily people whom you really consider your true friends.
Friends will also always have something not in common too. Like in my case, MusEditions dislikes shopping but I love it; Juan doesn’t like girly songs but I love them; I’m sure there’s something I’ve mentioned here that I love and when you read it you wrinkled your nose and go bleh. Which is perfectly natural, since we can’t like all the same stuff. What you like I could possibly detest very much.
In such moments, we may not agree with our friends’ likes or dislikes, but we might understand them. For example, I’ve been asking my friends this question: If you have to choose between eating only chocolate-flavoured ice-creams for the rest of your life, or any ice-cream flavour but chocolate the rest of your life, which would you choose? I chose chocolate, because I really love chocolate and I can’t imagine not being able to eat any chocolate-flavoured ice-cream for the rest of my life that I’m willing to forgo all the other amazing flavours. And I think if this is a decision I have to make in real life, I would choose the same thing; even right now, each time I have a treat at Baskin Robbins (Maui Brownie Madness, mmm!!) or want to buy ice-cream of any sort, my instinct is to go for the chocolate ones. None of my friends have chosen chocolate when I posed this question to them – they all rather forgo chocolate so they won’t miss out on all the other great variety of flavours. And that’s understandable to me; I know not everybody likes chocolate the way I do, and if you look at it, to be able to have practically any ice-cream flavour more than makes up for having to forgo in my humble opinion the best ice-cream flavour of any time!!!
My point is that, in these moments, we can disagree and yet understand why our friends do not feel the same way as us. We don’t judge each other negatively for having differing opinions.
But it’s just ice-cream in that situation. What about differing political opinions, religious outlooks, sexual preferences, et cetera? When the topic is more complicated, it’s harder to put ourselves in our friend’s shoes, it’s harder to see the rationale of their inclinations… so we judge. We wonder, how on earth could they possibly feel / think / do / act / say that way, when it’s clearly not right? And we try to justify with reasons we feel explain their choices. She’s a pessimist, that’s why she’s suicidal… He’s deluded, that’s why he thinks he will strike it rich one day playing the lottery… He’s lazy, that’s why he’s so fat… She’s fussy, that’s why she isn’t married until now…
It’s easier to judge because it’s harder to empathise.