blogging gobbledygook and such

Bits and Pieces

1. It’s exam week and I started off really well: I only realised that I didn’t have my exam slip with me just as I was about to enter the exam hall. I panicked, but I wasn’t too panicked; I was trying not to hyperventilate or break down because I’m sure the slip just slipped *hoho* somewhere outside the exam hall. Nope. I still didn’t panic, because it would be useless to and I need to calm myself down, otherwise I may not be able to concentrate on my exam when I finally got around to finding the damn slip. Checked my jacket’s pockets again. Nope. Got my friend’s car keys and walk slowly back to the car – slowly not because I’m not panicking but because my flats are loose and I can’t walk fast in them. Thoughts raced through my head; what if I can’t find the slip? I can’t take the exam? Would I fail if I can’t take the exam? What if I did and I can’t graduate all because I lost the fucking slip?? Oh slip is there stuck between the car seat and door (I once lost a parking ticket the same way, without getting out of the car, so it was instinct to first look it there, haha). šŸ˜ Adrenalin was pumping (not to mention sweat glands, sigh) by the time I began my exam and managed to finish in over an hour and was first to leave exam hall.

2. Friend I used to be close with messaged me out of the blue and we talked for a bit. She just started talking as if we never drifted apart, calling me endearments and telling me her personal problems. I did not feel comfortable with that but I advised her like I used to and entertained her because she was once a very good friend and she did some favours that I’m very grateful for. I felt used (for being her emotional dumping ground). I was used. But I allowed myself to be used because I remember what she did for me. But I will not let her in.

3. For my second exam (which was one of the tougher exams), I was so fucking pissed with the inconsiderate exam assistants who were just outside the exam hall talking and laughing quite loudly when they were supposed to be monitoring the exam hall, and even if they weren’t supposed to maybe it’s their break time or what it was fucking stupid of them to be talking just outside the exam hall because even if you were talking in your normal voice it would be quite loud in the silence of examinations. It went on about 15 minutes, until I couldn’t take it, went up to them and told them off. My friend said they were shooting daggers with their eyes at me. HAH AS IF I FUCKING BOTHER THAT I OFFENDED YOU WHEN I’M IN THE MIDDLE OF A FUCKING HARD EXAM AND NEED ALL THE SILENCE I CAN GET TO CONCENTRATE SO I DON’T FLUNK AND WILL NOT BE ABLE TO GRADUATE FOR YOUR FUCKING 15 MINUTES OF CHITTY CHATTY IDLE POINTLESS INCONSIDERATE EMPTY VESSEL OF A TALK.

4. Secretly reading a blog of a classmate and in one of her latest posts she ranted about my class, describing us in a rather unpalatable manner. Initially, I only saw how scandalous it was if my class knew what she said. It didn’t even occur to me that I could probably be one of the people she is talking about and I therefore should be quite offended. Well, I am not simply because I do not care about her. However, I realised that if anything, I feel offended for my classmates who she is dissing (after discussing this with some other classmates who knew of her blog) because she does not realise why they treat her that way and for her to judge them without seeing the way she treats people can be offensive and inconsiderate is just plain wrong and ignorant. I remember a dream I had about her, where I spilt everything everyone has told me about her… that was a satisfying dream. :mrgreen:

Huh, so much for bits and pieces. More like chunks and lumps!

Comments on: "Bits and Pieces" (6)

  1. My, we’re a little testy today, sweetie—must be the test anxiety. šŸ™‚
    1. Isn’t it frustrating when you’re all ready for something like an exam, and this happens? Well, good for you that you didn’t panic, and ended completing the exam well and quickly. Yay!
    2. I have a few friends I don’t talk to for a long time, because we’re far away or whatever, but when we do talk it’s like that, almost like picking up in the middle of a conversation. I wouldn’t like it if I felt they were just calling me to get something from me. Sounds like you were polite, but wary.
    3. You’re pretty po’d about this! Probably good you can blow off steam here! Certainly I agree that your exam space should be respected so that you can have all the quiet and ability to concentrate that you need.
    4. Sometimes it’s best to work these things out in dreams! May I just respectfully ask, though: If you don’t care for her, why do you read her blog? šŸ˜‰ Love & Hugs…exams over soon. šŸ™‚

    sulz: haha, yeah. i’m fine now though so must have worked. šŸ˜‰

    1. yes! it’s the first time it happened to me and it was simply carelessness, sigh. luckily i didn’t have to pay for my mistake. šŸ˜¦

    2. yes, i was wary and cynical. we never spoke all this while despite my few attempts asking why didn’t i see her anymore these days and that i miss her… i think as we grow up, we tend to shed a lot of things that once was a big presence in our lives, including friends.

    3. ohhh yes, i was so mad! after i told them off, my hands were shaking for a few minutes when i resumed writing for my exam. i really hate to lose my temper with strangers so if i do, you know i was really tested.

    4. well, i’m nosy. :mrgreen:

    sigh, thank you for the love and hugs. *hugs back* šŸ™‚

  2. thebeadden said:

    Sulz I hope you did well with your exams. You are right, all that chatter during an exam is not right. I would have been pretty upset. The slightest thing ruins my concentration.

    How many more exams do you have?

    sulz: thanks! but at this point, i don’t even care for my grades anymore. i just want to pass! i just had another tough exam today, and will have one more tomorrow, before the final one another week later. šŸ‘æ the end just cannot come any faster! haha. šŸ˜€

  3. Eek. Sounds like these exams are pretty stressful! I can’t believe the nerve of those exam assistants – how can anyone be so inconsiderate? Good for you, telling them off. They probably deserved worse!

    Good luck!

    sulz: yeah, exams are always stressful but this is particularly more so because it’s the final one… don’t want to fail any papers now otherwise can’t graduate! šŸ˜® yeah, they better hope karma doesn’t bite them back and give them bad exam assistants when they’re having a tough exam, hmph.

    thanks! just two more to go.

  4. At least the exam wasn’t a practical with lecturers watching your every move. I have to resit mine which totally sucks, and plus I don’t like the lecturer for that class. The way he talks about the subject of sound makes me wonder if he has a life outside of college.

    sulz: urgh, that does sound awful! hope you passed the second time!

    i think he doesn’t, which is why he’s teaching in college – never really left it after graduating! šŸ˜‰

  5. No.4 Ms morose etc said:

    You’re really into CHIC LIT aren’t you? Stirring up a storm after reading my blog?

    Btw, i’ve found out abt YOUR blog in the days you refered to [edit] as Ms. Ick and many more sarcastic names of the people that have accepted you as family today. In the time that you fanatically defended all FAT people… in your first year.

    Everytime you say you did not blog in class i NEVER did blow your cover because i treated and respected you as my friend.

    I’ve respected your opinions abt Ms. Ick and the rest of the class as your personal thoughts. Never did i mention any of your feelings to any of my close friends altough is tempting to.

    And this is how you repay me by discussing publicly abt what i wrote?? You really dissapoint me.

    I never knew you were a person like that. I had always thought you had some amount of integrity.
    I’m seriously dissapointed with even upholding the fact that you are my friend.

    sulz: hey there. can you explain what you mean by stirring up a storm after reading your blog? if you were referring to this sentence “Initially, I only saw how scandalous it was if my class knew what she said” it means that i saw how scandalous it was; it was an observation.

    “people that have accepted you as family today” which people are you referring to exactly? as for ms ick, there were things that happened between me and her that made me dislike her that you would not know about.

    if you thought of me as your friend, you would have been honest about knowing my blog since the first year; that is how i think a friend should be.

    “And this is how you repay me by discussing publicly abt what i wrote??” well, in the first place i had not idea i owed you such a big debt. and if you wrote something in public, then i should be able to discuss the content publicly. i think it’s karma in your case (even though you don’t believe in it, being a christian), because you did the same thing to our classmate. šŸ™‚

    to be frank, i don’t see you as a friend, which was why i had no qualms writing about it. i’m sorry to say that, because i believe that everybody has their good and bad side (as you discover of me today). despite that, i protected your privacy the best i can (and i don’t think that people who don’t know about your blog would know it’s you anyway), and i believe not many people in my life know about this blog, unless everybody i know is like you. i don’t consider you my friend because i saw more of your bad side than your good, unfortunately. and you have proven to me you are no friend because of the circumstances in which you have revealed yourself to be secretly reading my blog. if i have never spoken of you this way, would you ever tell me, your so-called friend, that you are reading something that is considered extremely private to me?? that was why i have never told you i read your blog; i do not feel any obligations toward you.

    i stand by what i have said. you are free to tell others what i said if you want to, and i am ready to apologise to these people if they confront me, if i think what i have said is unfair. i don’t believe it makes a difference to you, but i want to state that i did not reveal your ‘secret’ blog to anyone except the ones you have revealed it to. however, there were some people who were able to find it through a simple yahoo search before you blocked it. and just because nobody has told you, does not mean what you have said about our class was not offensive to those who have read it. read again what i have said:

    she does not realise why they treat her that way and for her to judge them without seeing the way she treats people can be offensive and inconsiderate is just plain wrong and ignorant.

    there are reasons why people in the class treated you the way they have.

    as for the issue of integrity, i think you should look in the mirror and question the integrity of the girl there as well. what i did is no different that what you have done to our classmate, with the only difference is that i protected your identity while you did not with hers.

    and by the way, it’s chick lit. but chick lit is chic. šŸ™‚

  6. […] Expressions And Your Privacy I swear I wrote this post before this happened… Just had other posts that I wanted to publish […]

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