1. It’s exam week and I started off really well: I only realised that I didn’t have my exam slip with me just as I was about to enter the exam hall. I panicked, but I wasn’t too panicked; I was trying not to hyperventilate or break down because I’m sure the slip just slipped *hoho* somewhere outside the exam hall. Nope. I still didn’t panic, because it would be useless to and I need to calm myself down, otherwise I may not be able to concentrate on my exam when I finally got around to finding the damn slip. Checked my jacket’s pockets again. Nope. Got my friend’s car keys and walk slowly back to the car – slowly not because I’m not panicking but because my flats are loose and I can’t walk fast in them. Thoughts raced through my head; what if I can’t find the slip? I can’t take the exam? Would I fail if I can’t take the exam? What if I did and I can’t graduate all because I lost the fucking slip?? Oh slip is there stuck between the car seat and door (I once lost a parking ticket the same way, without getting out of the car, so it was instinct to first look it there, haha). 😐 Adrenalin was pumping (not to mention sweat glands, sigh) by the time I began my exam and managed to finish in over an hour and was first to leave exam hall.
2. Friend I used to be close with messaged me out of the blue and we talked for a bit. She just started talking as if we never drifted apart, calling me endearments and telling me her personal problems. I did not feel comfortable with that but I advised her like I used to and entertained her because she was once a very good friend and she did some favours that I’m very grateful for. I felt used (for being her emotional dumping ground). I was used. But I allowed myself to be used because I remember what she did for me. But I will not let her in.
3. For my second exam (which was one of the tougher exams), I was so fucking pissed with the inconsiderate exam assistants who were just outside the exam hall talking and laughing quite loudly when they were supposed to be monitoring the exam hall, and even if they weren’t supposed to maybe it’s their break time or what it was fucking stupid of them to be talking just outside the exam hall because even if you were talking in your normal voice it would be quite loud in the silence of examinations. It went on about 15 minutes, until I couldn’t take it, went up to them and told them off. My friend said they were shooting daggers with their eyes at me. HAH AS IF I FUCKING BOTHER THAT I OFFENDED YOU WHEN I’M IN THE MIDDLE OF A FUCKING HARD EXAM AND NEED ALL THE SILENCE I CAN GET TO CONCENTRATE SO I DON’T FLUNK AND WILL NOT BE ABLE TO GRADUATE FOR YOUR FUCKING 15 MINUTES OF CHITTY CHATTY IDLE POINTLESS INCONSIDERATE EMPTY VESSEL OF A TALK.
4. Secretly reading a blog of a classmate and in one of her latest posts she ranted about my class, describing us in a rather unpalatable manner. Initially, I only saw how scandalous it was if my class knew what she said. It didn’t even occur to me that I could probably be one of the people she is talking about and I therefore should be quite offended. Well, I am not simply because I do not care about her. However, I realised that if anything, I feel offended for my classmates who she is dissing (after discussing this with some other classmates who knew of her blog) because she does not realise why they treat her that way and for her to judge them without seeing the way she treats people can be offensive and inconsiderate is just plain wrong and ignorant. I remember a dream I had about her, where I spilt everything everyone has told me about her… that was a satisfying dream.
Huh, so much for bits and pieces. More like chunks and lumps!