blogging gobbledygook and such

I swear I wrote this post before this happened… Just had other posts that I wanted to publish first.

*

When you have a personal blog, you tend to write about things that affect you very personally, whether in a positive or negative way. If it’s positive, the only person you can potentially embarrass is yourself, since it can be pretty silly to be raving about a crush you have on this guy, or talking about your mom and dad in a way you could never say to them because it’s so awkward to show appreciation to the people closest to you sometimes.

When it’s negative, chances are people in your life are involved in it, and they are the people you can hurt the most by writing about what you feel on a very public space, despite the personal atmosphere.

I am doing this right now, and I don’t proclaim to have found a better way to express my negativity on my blog without hurting the people I talk about negatively. Even though I try, by giving pseudonyms to give them a semblance of privacy, it doesn’t guarantee total anonymity. And even if nobody ever knows who exactly am I talking about here, it doesn’t make the person feel less hurt for knowing that this is how much hatred or anger or dislike I have that I have to rant in public in a passive aggressive sort of way.

To all the people I have mentioned negatively in my blog posts (with the exception of trolls and disagreements in comments), I want to say I am sorry that in my attempt to express my frustration and hurt, that I inevitably hurt you too. That is never my intention – my posts are first and foremost to express myself, and never intended to hurt the people I care about. I guess in that sense, you are collateral damage. If you are ever hurt by what I have written here, please tell me and give me a chance to explain myself or apologise to you. I think you are entitled to express your disappointment in me, and in a way I do deserve it because if I have a problem with you, I should really be talking it over with you instead of airing dirty laundry in public in a passive aggressive way. Even though I have the right to say what I want, you are entitled to have privacy too.

Just because I have the right to express myself, doesn’t mean that I should put exercising my right above the feelings of people I care about. And if I choose to do so, I must be ready to face the music.

Comments on: "My Expressions And Your Privacy" (13)

  1. I actually did think that you had gotten over what happened, but I guess I had assumed wrong πŸ˜‰ . I caught up with MovingGifsOnPPTs and she is feeling better, thank goodness.

    It’s funny how your post came just as I took one down myself–about half an hour after putting it up while in a mixture of raging female hormones and quite possibly anger. No doubt I am still upset, but I think I should just address it when I get a chance with the concerned party.

    It’s scary to think how one can say just about anything while clouded with all those emotions.

    sulz: well, depends what you mean by gotten over. am i angry with her? no. did i have her in mind when i wrote this? no, it was someone else, actually (not that that someone else would know i’m referring to him/her, i think, haha). and i really did write this before she commented, though i admit that it was inspired by what she wrote, which led me to think about posts that i had written. πŸ™‚

    hah, lucky you did it within half an hour, my feed reader didn’t catch it. πŸ˜› what i usually do when i write rants is that i pre-publish it, so it gives me time to proofread my post before it really publishes. also, if i felt the post isn’t right, i may postpone the published time or delete it entirely.

    personally, i think it’s scarier what people keep bottled in their hearts…

  2. lovelyloey said:

    Well, at least you tried to protect the people in question with anonymity; that is respect enough. I think there is nothing wrong in discussing the negative things people do, because we’re not supposed to give an objective viewpoint on a blog. Maybe an online forum, yes, but this is a personal blog. We are entitled to our subjective commentary and if people don’t like it, just stop reading.

    sulz: yeah, you definitely have a point there. i don’t know if people can just stop reading just because they don’t like what you say though, haha. i mean, you see that sort of behaviour over and over again in popular blogs, and also it’s not easy to stop reading a blog of a person who wrote about you, because some people want to know what exactly is being written about them. i guess celebrities should teach us how they ignore the trash gossip written about them! πŸ˜†

    personally, i wouldn’t be able to stop reading a blog of a person who’s written about me, but that’s because i’m a masochist. πŸ˜›

  3. havent read on what uve written on yr posts on them… but good for you to take this first step of apologising πŸ™‚ anyway, continue blogging! πŸ™‚

    sulz: thank you! πŸ™‚ thanks for visiting too.

  4. Hi,
    I just happened upon your blog from blog catalog, so I decided to check it out. I know that you don’t know me, but I just wanted to tell you that I really like what you wrote about hurting others while trying to express yourself. It shows, maturity, wisdom, compassion, and honesty. You have a beautiful way of expressing yourself…keep up the good work!

    sulz: wow, such a lovely compliment from a first-time visitor, thank you so much! πŸ™‚ well, while i may have expressed that, i still don’t know how to get past that – being able to be honest with myself here without hurting people.

    thanks for dropping by and commenting; hope you’d come back soon. πŸ˜‰

  5. gentledove said:

    It’s horrible when you’ve hurt someones feelings, and who can afford to hurt friends?
    And I’ve noticed that “straight talkers” don’t like it if you straight talk them.

    sulz: well, i think if they are your true friends, they will understand you’re not perfect and will forgive you in time, just as you should with them when they make mistakes. πŸ™‚ as for friends in the most superficial sense, yes, those you can’t afford to hurt if you plan to keep them!

    ooh yes, i live with one and know several. πŸ˜‰ i’ve yet to figure out how to ‘win’ in any disagreement with such people! πŸ˜†

  6. When it’s negative, chances are people in your life are involved in it, and they are the people you can hurt the most by writing about what you feel on a very public space, despite the personal atmosphere.
    I am hurt when people talk positively of me… I’m the freaking EVIL emperor of the world! You SHOULD speak negatively of me! πŸ˜€

    Btw, I do NOT wrestle Geeks, I am the Geek Wrestler who wrestles nerds. [There is a difference… for one, Geeks have Charisma. My millions… and millions of fans know that! πŸ˜› ]

    Have a great day and keep your chin up. πŸ™‚

    sulz: haha, okay, noted for the future. πŸ˜€

    heh, i was teasing you lah… but yes, pardon my ignorance. πŸ˜‰ thanks, you have a great day too!

  7. This is a really mature, honest post about a really awkward subject, so I really admire you for that.

    You’re really quite polite about this because you preserve people’s anonymity when talking about them, but I guess if people realise who you’re talking about, and it isn’t very nice, they’re bound to be upset. It’s a very tricky situation.

    Personally, I’ve always said I don’t mind what people say about me behind my back, but that’s only half true really, and I’ve never seen anything really nasty about me written online.

    sulz: wow, thank you. πŸ™‚ tricky is the right word about this situation! i guess in the end it comes down to what you choose, do you place your expression higher than their privacy, or vice versa?

    i’ve had read people writing about me before, and believe me it fucking hurt! πŸ˜₯ it was even worse because the person used my real name and other people commented in that post because they knew me. i’m over it now, and i admit part of what he said had some truth, but i wish he had respected my privacy. so yeah, brace yourself… but you’re a nice guy, i don’t see it happening to you! πŸ˜‰

  8. ROFL. You changed it pretty quickly! πŸ˜€

    sulz: haha, ‘cos i’m a bot in truth! πŸ˜‰

  9. I swear I feel the same!!! My close ones keep telling me it isnt fair… to the people you are close to. May be you can write stuff about people you dont care a damn about, but what about those you really care for?

    Damn! Thats a challenge!!

    sulz: i know! i think it’s a matter of two choices: choosing to express yourself, or choosing to respect the people you care about. it doesn’t mean by expressing yourself that you are not respecting them, but they may perceive it that way. and if you choose to express yourself, you must be prepare to face the consequences… good luck! πŸ™‚

  10. Very well said Sulz. I find that I instinctively rant on my blog when I get seriously ticked off and sometimes, I get ticked off by people I care about. Just writing it down makes processing things easier. what has helped me though is that my i.ph blog lets me select which posts can be viewed by who. I usually just keep potentially hurtful posts accessible to myself or a few close and trusted people. This keeps friction between me and my family to a minimum. Good on you for recognizing the privacy of other people. Good day and blog on!

    sulz: thank you. πŸ™‚ hmm, good solution to the problem! what if you wanted to rant about someone who has access to these posts, though? πŸ˜›

  11. Jelly Bean said:

    In reference to what Sushi said, I would just like to laugh and applaud the pseudonym: “MovingGifsOnPPTs”. It’s so apt and yet so ‘hidden’.

    sulz: at first i thought of the wrong person! due to other memorable ppt presentations… πŸ˜› apt, but a mouthful to say in person!

  12. Well, if it does happen to be about somebody, I keep their names partially blanked, or I could shove that idea over and let them know, because chances are the people around us know we dislike each other. Anyway, I hate keeping up with the whole “pretending that nothing happened” beeswax because faking something went something has happened is rather useless by then.

    sulz: well, there are the kind who are seriously clueless and do not know how you feel about them! and that is the strangest thing with women – we do that whole pretend nothing happened thing, simply because it seems easier to do that… well, it is, but it also has effects.

  13. Hi
    Hsve just come to your blog after you so kindly comented on my own( thank you for the advice). I was browsing though in the brilliantly nosy way you can on blogs, and this blog really cought me attention – It’s that eternal dilema between the right to free speech and trying to avoid direct confontation (though sometimes it’s needed). I feel that if people don’t want to have angry things written about them it’s best not to make people angry to start with, and perhaps avoid readint eh blog of the person they have irritated. But, in the same vein, I’m glad that you’ve extened an apology, because sometimes a rantand a rave can be mor hurtful than it is meant to be.
    I agree with what you say πŸ™‚
    xx

    if people don’t want to have angry things written about them it’s best not to make people angry to start with

    sulz: this sums it up very simply and nicely! thanks for your perspective and returning the comment luv. πŸ™‚

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