Recently, I wrote a post about secrets and how keeping them can consume you, suffocate you. Well, I have one right now and even though I said I don’t want to keep secrets, I just can’t bear to blog about it. For one, it involves someone who reads my blog, and for another, it’s very, very personal and recent. I would like to talk about it a few months’ later, but the urge to say it now is strong. Yet at the same time I cannot bring myself to do it. Does that make sense? I want to say it so bad, but I just can’t.
I believe this is the reason I feel rather uninspired to blog lately. Okay, so I’ve been churning out posts at the normal rate, but I didn’t particularly feel passionate or excited about them. The ideas are good, or quirky enough, but they were calculated. It’s been a long time since I wrote posts the moment I get the first strike of inspiration, where my fingers flies over the keyboard as I furiously type my thoughts out, trying to capture what’s in my head and put in down in words before they vanish like a wisp of smoke.
Not just that, I’ve been cooped up at home this whole week, because I was given an unexpected holiday from my part-time job. I haven’t been earning money, and I am basically in contact with just my family. Yes, I do keep in touch with friends over the computer screen, but it’s not the same as socialising in person. I mean, great as you are – and you really are, because you are the people I come in contact to most after my family – I need some face-to-face socialising with friends. Which is why I was so sad when class is finally over. I could go shopping on my own, but I don’t want to spend since I’m hardly earning as it is.
Please excuse the dourness of this post. I’m hoping that I get my blogging mojo back by half-pouring what’s on my mind (not totally because I can’t bring myself to tell you exactly what it is that troubles me). Well, I’m going out this Sunday for Sesat’s birthday dinner with Angel, so there’s my social fix. And I have my new blogging project out tomorrow (look at the sidebar for the link!); I’m sure it will put a smile in my heart if you want to participate in it. 🙂