blogging gobbledygook and such

Lurking & Thinking

What is lurking? I would define it as visiting a particular place repeatedly but not making any contact with the owner or other frequent visitors like you. You are a regular stranger, so to speak. What is thinking? To define that would be patronising you, because as long as we are human and have wits of any sort, we can think and are thinking already anyway!

I love having visitors in my blog. More visitors means the more chance I may snag a regular reader and hopefully commenter. I know there are lurkers here, as any other established blog would have. I thank you for lurking, even though I wonder who you are! I’m sure if you have been lurking long enough you would know I am a nosy person by nature (my friends can absolutely attest to this uncontrollable curiosity, as I can get answers about things you wouldn’t dare ask a friend, but only because they indulge me, heh).

That said, if I could choose, I would really prefer you not to lurk. That’s why I like widgets like MyBlogLog and BlogCatalog, where I can see who’s visited the blog recently. I like knowing what goes on in my blog, including who came and who went. I wish WordPress.com could come up with a widget like that! It could work like how Friendster does it – if you wish to know who’s visited your blog, then you cannot be a lurker yourself and every visit will be logged. On the other hand, if you still value your privacy and want to lurk in peace, then you are not allowed to know who’s lurking on your blog, if you have one. I think that’s a great system – you get to meet lurkers who sometimes don’t lurk intentionally but just do not have anything particular to comment in my writing, and at the same time, respect lurkers who want to stay lurkers.

All that said, I do understand why people lurk because I do it myself too.

1. I lurk because sometimes I don’t have a response to a blogger’s writing; this is just a matter of personal taste. Some things appeal to me more, and some less. Or that I love to read the blog for the sake of reading. It’s like reading a story – you enjoy it, but it doesn’t make you want to go e-mail the author.
2. It also depends on the blogger’s writing style – if he or she puts forth a persuasive argument about an issue but sounds aggressive, I would not leave a comment even if I have an opinion because the blogger seems likely to be offended if my opinion is opposite of his or hers and may be rude in return.
3. I also don’t comment when in previous occasions I did not receive a reply to my comment; I think it is only polite to respond to comments because people take the time and effort to communicate with you.
4. I lurk because I feel intimidated by the blogger or his or her readers. They write so eloquently and knowledgeably about an issue, that my opinion pales in comparison. This is how I am in forums too, and in real life.

Whether you own a blog or not, you’ve done both. Thinking, well, you definitely have to do that, but lurking, you don’t have to! Lurking is very much like thinking. You do it, but very few people, if any, are truly aware of you doing it. While it is fortunate that we can think without people knowing exactly what we are thinking, because there are some things you wouldn’t want people to know you are thinking (!), it is unfortunate too that people cannot know what we think, because thoughts are beautiful, and what a pity it is when you have something thoughtful to appear in your head, but nobody else to appreciate it but yourself.

Which is why I love to blog; it’s a form of thinking out loud. It not only preserves my thoughts, but share them with people. People who I care about, and people who may be thinking the same things that I do. Isn’t it amazing when you read something that echoes exactly what you think or how you feel? Or writes about something that has never occured to you before and made you think and widen your thoughts? As for de-lurking, isn’t it equally amazing to discover who actually reads your blog, people in your life you never thought would? Or how amazing it is to find kindred spirits who feel the same way as you do, so far apart in body but so close in mind?

I think it is amazing.

(Moral of the story: don’t lurk! People may find you amazing.)

Comments on: "Lurking & Thinking" (13)

  1. Hello, I am Nessa and I am a Lurker.

    … not of your blog.

    Well, not all the time.

    I always read, but I don’t always comment.

    Sometimes it is because of pure lazyness.

    sulz: hello familiar lurker! flurker? haha, sounds like a bad word. πŸ˜›

    hahaha, i can understand the laziness bit. i’m guilty of it myself too! πŸ˜€

  2. Actually I have been a long lurker in your blog. Sometime you lurk because though you enjoy reading, you really don’t have anything to say. 😦

    sulz: oh you are? i didn’t know that, i always thought you seldom visit. πŸ˜€ yeah, i know what you mean since i do that kind of lurking too. i thought it’s just me, that i’m not as articulate as those who always seem to have a reply for everything and anything, anytime!

  3. Oooh, may I be a flurker, too? I can’t, though, I am almost always provoked into saying something in response to your posts; you just have that effect on me. πŸ™‚ I have felt all the things you put on your list. I also don’t comment on posts that have, like, 57 comments already. I’d have to have something really amazing and unique to say! I do think, I think…

    sulz: i can be quite provocative, huh? πŸ˜€ oh yeah, that 57-comments bit is my reason too, feels kinda redundant saying the same things the 50-odd comments have said in so many words!

  4. πŸ™‚ I also lurk in two blogs on my blog roll cuz of the 3rd reason. I think any good blogger should be polite enough to reply to comments even if he/she gets over 30-40 comments.
    //isn’t it equally amazing to discover who actually reads your blog, people in your life you never thought would?// Totally agree on this!!

    //I would not leave a comment even if I have an opinion because the blogger seems likely to be offended if my opinion is opposite of his or hers and may be rude in return.// Hope that wasnt a reason in case of my blog??? I’m fine with reason 1. :)And sometimes we lurk cuz we relate so much to a post that we have got nothing to say :)like ur post “Regrets” for me.

    sulz: i agree, though i think it would be tough replying to so many comments!

    oh, i don’t find you rude at all! πŸ™‚ i usually try to comment in blogs of commenters, though if i find myself not knowing what to say in any particular post i don’t force myself – there’s always the next post. πŸ˜‰

    oh, that’s interesting! thanks for saying that, i wouldn’t have known you read it or how you felt about it otherwise. πŸ™‚ yeah, sometimes to just comment saying i’ve got nothing to say but i liked reading this sounds a bit lame, isn’t it? but i honestly don’t mind such comments. if anything, at least it tells me you liked it!

  5. I liked the point where you said that people get intimidated by the bloggers. Usually, popular bloggers have many lurkers who even though would have something to say but would not say because they would feel that their comment would get lost amongst the so many already there and that the blogger wouldn’t reply. This is pretty much what museditions said now that I’ve read the comment.

    And as for me, well, I cannot lurk. My verbal diarrhoea doesn’t let me. I always have to keep saying something. πŸ˜›

    sulz: yes, just as you put it too. πŸ™‚ well, i like your verbal diarrhoea here, haha. that sounds gross, doesn’t it?

  6. //i usually try to comment in blogs of commenters, // Ohhh u can add me on ur blog roll u know :):P

    sulz: oh, i did! didn’t you notice? πŸ˜‰

  7. I’m a lurker of sorts. I often lurk on blogs and then come back and comment later, after thinking about what I have read.

    sulz: that’s what museditions does, if i’m not wrong. that’s doubly good, since you gave an extra hit or two, haha. πŸ˜€

  8. iLurk. Alot. Especially on blogs, generally because a. I’m too lazy to comment; or b. Whatever I had to say has already been said by a previous commentor, possibly in a better manner, and I don’t like being redundant.

    sulz: oh, so that’s where you’ve been! i thought you stopped dropping by here, you know. good to hear from you. πŸ™‚

  9. Nah, often I leave a comment on every post I read on every blog I read. It’s just because since I’ve started blogging I’ve realised how nice it is to get comments, and I want as many other people as possible to feel happy like that. :mrgreen: I’m a saint!

    The weird thing is, I’ve always got intimidated by popular bloggers too, or by blogs where there’s a community of commenters who all seem to know each other – like this blog… πŸ˜› … which I don’t comment as often as I would. But now my own stats are on the rise, and since I started replying to comments the way you do, I’ve found that people are feeling the same way about my blog – that they’re too intimidated by the ‘community’ and my hits to comment.

    But I’m nervous too.

    And it makes me a bit sad they’re scared when I am too.

    So that’s my exciting story for the day! πŸ˜€ And I also try to comment the blogs of my commenters.

    Suzy x

    sulz: i know, i love it too! i’ll try to comment in return on blogs of commenters, but right now i’m having a hard time replying to comments in my own blog as it is seeing that i’m away from home! but i will reply. πŸ™‚

    no, you mustn’t be intimidated at all! yes, i do have a few regular vocal readers here, but i always welcome and enjoy newcomers. that’s why i take the time to reply to every single comment; this is my home and i want everybody to feel welcome. it’s my ‘job’ to make you feel good here and want to come back and visit again, you know? πŸ™‚

  10. Sheesh, that comment was long.

    Suzy x

    sulz: don’t worry, i’ve had longer ones and i love them! πŸ™‚

  11. I lurk a lot on blogs. Have never done it here though. Reached here via Reema’s blog via Nita’s blog.

    I do a lot of blog hopping, going from one’s blogroll to other’s. Reading post after posts and not commenting. And visiting those blogs again if I like them.

    But after reading your post, I think I should atleast comment on blogs where I lurk and tell them how frequently I lurk there.

    sulz: thank you for visiting and hope the first time was good enough for a repeat visit? πŸ˜‰

    i’m glad you feel that way after reading my thoughts about it. i think your future bloggers will be very happy when you do that.

  12. Oh boy.
    I just came to your blog somewhere. and the very first thing–I’ve been lurking all morning, what the heck. I’m just plain lazy. And I hate *having* to comment on all blogs on my blogroll.
    Ah well, here’s your comment.

    sulz: aww, i’m sorry i made you feel like you had to leave a comment. if you really don’t want to, it’s alright. i’m just encouraging those who might want to comment but have reservations for some reason or other.

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