So I went through my convocation yesterday. I wasn’t looking forward to it at all. To me, many celebrations in life are kinda pointless when it’s done in a huge crowd, because there’s no intimacy, it’s not special to everybody involved. Which is to say if I ever have a wedding or birthday celebration (I only had one birthday party in my life, when I was nine, which consisted of my classmates and my parents’ friends and their kids) I would make it very small because I want to connect with each and every one at the celebration. Which means that I rather have 5 small birthday parties than 1 big giant one. 😛
Anyway, yes, back to my convocation and how I wasn’t looking forward to it. Which was why I managed to have a hearty breakfast and lunch, unlike some friends who were so excited by this that they didn’t feel like eating. Until we were waiting to receive our scrolls, that is. Haha. And it was good that I ate well, because even then I got hungry half way through the ceremony and ate a granola bar. Actually, we’re not allowed to eat in the hall but I didn’t care. I’m hungry and I need to eat, damn it!
Okay, convocation. You know what? I actually enjoyed it more than I thought I would. Maybe because I had no expectations. I was so not bothered about convocation that I turned up at the graduands’ meeting point in just a pair of black pants and a black tank top. Everybody else wore office-ish clothes – formal, that is – and I wore a tank top. I was that not bothered! (Well, I did bring along a black cardigan – smart casual is at least better than plain casual!)
Thankfully, I have great friends because when I turned up, my robe was still in the paper bag it came in (and that too was collected by 9 for me because the robe collection day was the day I came back from Macau itself, and I was sick so I couldn’t pick it up), and I had no clue how to wear the damn thing. Enter my great friends, 9 and Bug, who helped dress me up. All I had to do was stand there. 😛
Then, there was the rush to stand in our proper lines to walk towards the hall etc etc… Finally, we were seated. They said graduands weren’t allowed to bring bags in but I was alone when they announced that and had nobody to give it to so I just held on to my bag. Which was a good thing, because the ceremony was so long I would’ve died of thirst and starved if I did get someone to take my bag. I even managed to read a bit during the whole thing, haha.
When the VIPs finally came in and gave their speeches, suddenly my faculty’s graduands were first up to receive their scrolls. (It’s fake ‘cos it’s empty, you only get the real certificate after you return the robe! Great insurance, huh?) Didn’t even have much time to panic, so I didn’t when my turn came. (62nd person I was to receive my scroll.)
I love to get such things over and done with so that I could relax for the rest of the ceremony. It was boring, but luckily my friends sat near my seat and so we talked to while away the time. I even camwhored! (I don’t do it, like, ever. Really.)
It was chaos when the convocation finally ended, because there were so many freaking people waiting outside the hall. I held on tight to 9’s hand as she find her family. My whole class were supposed to wait by this spot to take photos as a class, but the crowd was everywhere, and my parents were waiting for me, so I decided to not waste time and found my parents so we could go take a family portrait at the building across the street.
Paid the exorbitant photo fees – RM100, over and done in less than 5 minutes! M needed the toilet, so we took a while to find one, which was at this corner. By this time, I was naturally sweating buckets so I decided to take my robe off. Then we walked back towards the car, which was parked a good 10 minutes away.
Actually, now that I’ve written about my afternoon, it wasn’t really that fun, was it? But I enjoyed it. It took my mind off my troubles. I got to see my classmates one last time. I got to see my lecturers one last time – I was really, really happy when I saw them in their robes, I would’ve done this all over again just to see them again!
I also realised – whether this is the result of the convocation I’m not sure – that I’ve been moping. I should’ve gone out with 9 on Monday even though I felt low. (We’re going out today.) The thing with feeling depressed is that you should never stay in that situation. If you feel blue at home, get out of the house. Sometimes you feel better after that. It doesn’t work all the time for me, but at least it’s an attempt to make myself feel better.
So, yes, I do feel better now. Does that mean my problems are gone? Not at all. They’re still there, but I see them differently now. Before this, I think about my problems and it makes me feel depressed. Now, I think about my problems and think, it’s not what I want, but it’s really not all that bad. The reason it felt so bad for me before was that I was focusing too much on it!
ps. I know I promised the pictures for my blogging project, but I just can’t wait to record how my convocation went. At least I did keep half my promise – this is a happy post! 🙂