blogging gobbledygook and such

The past few days, I stumbled upon Facebook profiles of old schoolmates, people I used to know. Being the infamous busybody that I am, of course I had to look at all the pictures I could.

But besides being a closet exhibionist (of which I shall explain how and why), I’m an open masochist. I mean, I’ve openly admitted that I like bruises (not in getting one but in suffering from one). Now I’m openly admitting that though I hate looking at pictures of what people do in Facebook, I still do. The busybody in me has to know what are people doing, who they are dating, where they are working, how much they are earning, how much weight they lost since I last saw them…

I hate it because I end up feeling so unaccomplished. Ex-schoolmates are models, or pilots, or engineers, and I’m like this fat, pimply, vertically-challenged, measly English editor in some tiny publishing house. They earn thousands and thousands. They’re slim and sexy. They are engaged or married or attached permanently, whatever. THEY ARE SO GLAMOUROUS IT HURTS. 😦 πŸ˜₯

You must be thinking, this isn’t the sulz I know. sulz doesn’t get jealous of material possessions, at least certainly of people she doesn’t even keep in touch with. sulz doesn’t care about money (that much) or glamour. sulz loves to be in the background and wants as little physical attention as possible.

Well, guess what? sulz is a closet exhibitionist.

Sometimes, sulz wants to be in the centre of attention. (Why else does this blog exist for, then? Certainly not to make friends, pffft!) Sometimes, sulz wants to show off. Sometimes, sulz wants to be admired for her beauty (hah!) and curvy figure (HAH!). Sometimes, sulz wants to hold a respectable, glamourous position in the rat race. Sometimes, sulz feels like showing it to people who used to diss and belittle her, that SHE HAS MADE IT IN THE WORLD AND SHE’S BETTER THAN YOU, NYEH NYEH NYEH. *STICKS TONGUE OUT AND MAKES MONKEY FACES*

Ahem.

Sometimes.

πŸ™‚

ps. I seem to be in the closet for quite a few things. Are there more stuff to dig out? In time, I’m sure!

pps. Protected post is updated! Juicy news inside. Of course. πŸ˜‰

Comments on: "I’m A Closet Exhibitionist" (11)

  1. haha.. i guess we all do experience this one way or the other. Cheer up, it’s part of life. We all need the attention at times πŸ˜‰

    sulz: and i get a daily dose of it right here, so i’m not really sure why i’m complaining! 😳 like you said, it’s a phase. now shoo, phase!

  2. thebeadden said:

    Oh Sulz. I just got in from work and have to cook dinner BUT had to write this first.

    My Goodness, I had no idea you thought that way about yourself!

    Do you know how much I envy you? Your education, your adventurous trip. How well you write. And this is just your first serious one? You are so young, intelligent and have so much in store for you. This is just the beginning.

    I do manual hard labor. I enjoy it, but believe me, I would have taken the education and done something different had things been different.

    So remember the next time you feel that way, there are some of us, thinking wow, I wish I was more like Sulz!

    Take care.

    sulz: but, but, my friends are better and more glamourous than me! i went to macau, people are jetsetting off to new york and portugal. they’re younger and prettier and slimmer and…

    haha, there’s no end to that! 😳 ooh, what do you do? that is an unimaginable thought for me… i wouldn’t dream anyone wants my life! not that it’s such a terrible one. πŸ˜›

    but thank you for telling me that! *hugs*

  3. thebeadden said:

    I meant to say serious job….sorry.

  4. gentledove said:

    Everybody’s toes point upwards in the morgue > <

    sulz: hmm, true. but until then i’d be having this fit every now and then. 😳

  5. Stop putting yourself down! If you’re going to be exhibitionistic, have some pride in yourself! πŸ˜›

    I know all to well what you mean about ex-schoolmates going on and accomplishing things. It can be disheartening. On the bright side, remember, you still have a lot of future ahead of you!

    But as for “fat, pimply, vertically challenged…” *shakes head in disbelief* Hey, what’s wrong with being vertically challenged, anyway? I’m not the tallest of people, either!

    sulz: 😳 haha, touche!

    exactly. i mean, i’m not exactly jealous of them, nor am i exactly looking down of what i’ve accomplished. i guess i don’t like of how people might compare me with them. which they shouldn’t, but people do. i do too.

    i’m actually fine with my height, on my own… until i stand next to someone who makes me feel like a midget!

  6. Actually I thought this is exactly the sulz I know. As in you’re always putting yourself down. What you’re feeling, it’s understandable. Facebook was cleverly created to do just that, to drive us all crazy with information about people that we met oneday that are not relevant for our lives right now. They don’t post their drug issues or that time when they were walking on the street and a dog barked a block away and they got so scared they jumped and fell on their arses. No, they’ll post their pretty pictures and their acomplishments, right?

    I am with Bobby, Vertically – challenged people are the coolest.

    sulz: πŸ˜₯ you’re supposed to make me feel better! haha. ooh, exactly! they should come up with an ‘arsebook’ for everybody’s sordid details. :mrgreen:

    oh, is that why you like me? πŸ˜›

  7. lovelyloey said:

    Your community service thing rocks!
    It’s very nice of you to extend free tuition to those who need it.

    sulz: thanks! i just hope i won’t hate doing it. scared of unruly kids!

  8. gentledove said:

    oh that’s vertically challenged means-I was afaid to ask

    sulz: don’t be afraid to ask! bloggerdygook is a safe place for all sorts of questions. πŸ™‚

  9. Do u know that many famous people in history were vertically challenged?
    I don’t know…I cannot say that you should not feel bad…I have felt bad looking at successful people. Though, it was more because I have done nothing not because they are doing well! Weird thing my mind is πŸ˜€ I guess each of us have our thing.
    You are a very talented person. Just be proud of that and all os us blogosphere friends πŸ˜‰ You will definitely get where you want to. You are young.

    sulz: haha, and there are many tall famous people too. πŸ˜‰ actually, most of the time i like my life. i like leading a quiet life, being with friends and family. just sometimes, i get this little fever that makes me want to be like a celebrity or something! πŸ˜†

    aww, thank you. my blog buddies are definitely people i am proud of knowing and one of my accomplishments in life now! πŸ™‚

  10. Nice pics! I checked out the protected post. I dont have a profile on facebook and it didnt interest me even. I do have an orkut profile and its limited upto keeping in touch with my old classmates and friends. Sometimes I heaved a sigh or two but I never felt too bad seeing their present jobs or anything. Dont feel bad dear. I know sometimes it hurts but count your blessings.

    sulz: thank you! πŸ™‚ oh don’t start, it’s very addictive. πŸ˜› yeah i should… i remember how homesick i felt in macau. globetrotting isn’t all it’s cracked up to be!

  11. I’m not on any of the social networking thingys either—I’m too private. I might try one, though, someday. But blogging is a way to be both in the closet and exhibitionistic. Works for me. As a tall person, I can’t empathize with your shrimpiness πŸ˜‰ but there were times when being tall was awkward, and I’d would have liked to lose a couple of inches. Now, I like it. I will only say what you already know, that comparing yourself to others is not a happy path 😦 but listing your MANY assets—I can start a list for you!—can make you realize that you’re pretty darned wonderful! πŸ™‚ I looked at the protected post; now off to comment there. Very exciting!

    sulz: oh, if you do try facebook, let me warn you it’s addictive. you can actually have an account without revealing personal details. otherwise, fake it. πŸ˜† hehe, since i love blogging, i guess the closet exhibitionist is an obvious thing, huh?

    shrimpiness, haha! i can too! if i’m in a shameless mood. πŸ˜‰

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