The past few days, I stumbled upon Facebook profiles of old schoolmates, people I used to know. Being the infamous busybody that I am, of course I had to look at all the pictures I could.
But besides being a closet exhibionist (of which I shall explain how and why), I’m an open masochist. I mean, I’ve openly admitted that I like bruises (not in getting one but in suffering from one). Now I’m openly admitting that though I hate looking at pictures of what people do in Facebook, I still do. The busybody in me has to know what are people doing, who they are dating, where they are working, how much they are earning, how much weight they lost since I last saw them…
I hate it because I end up feeling so unaccomplished. Ex-schoolmates are models, or pilots, or engineers, and I’m like this fat, pimply, vertically-challenged, measly English editor in some tiny publishing house. They earn thousands and thousands. They’re slim and sexy. They are engaged or married or attached permanently, whatever. THEY ARE SO GLAMOUROUS IT HURTS. 😦 😥
You must be thinking, this isn’t the sulz I know. sulz doesn’t get jealous of material possessions, at least certainly of people she doesn’t even keep in touch with. sulz doesn’t care about money (that much) or glamour. sulz loves to be in the background and wants as little physical attention as possible.
Well, guess what? sulz is a closet exhibitionist.
Sometimes, sulz wants to be in the centre of attention. (Why else does this blog exist for, then? Certainly not to make friends, pffft!) Sometimes, sulz wants to show off. Sometimes, sulz wants to be admired for her beauty (hah!) and curvy figure (HAH!). Sometimes, sulz wants to hold a respectable, glamourous position in the rat race. Sometimes, sulz feels like showing it to people who used to diss and belittle her, that SHE HAS MADE IT IN THE WORLD AND SHE’S BETTER THAN YOU, NYEH NYEH NYEH. *STICKS TONGUE OUT AND MAKES MONKEY FACES*
ps. I seem to be in the closet for quite a few things. Are there more stuff to dig out? In time, I’m sure!
pps. Protected post is updated! Juicy news inside. Of course. 😉