blogging gobbledygook and such

This Whole Maturity Business

I’m in my early twenties. I could still be considered a young adult, but it’s generally expected that at my age, I have some level of maturity in the way I conduct myself. Which means when I do something generally considered immature, some people may express disappointment at my lack of maturity in handling a situation.

What is this maturity thing, anyway? How do you judge what’s mature and what’s immature? If I cry from stress at work, is that immature? If I delete people from Facebook because I don’t want to read about them talking about me in their Facebook, is that immature? If I go online more than the average person and stay home a lot because I enjoy doing that, is that immature?

Now, I’m not suggesting these things that I’ve done are remotely anywhere the scale of maturity. I just feel it’s so easy to brand anything I do that someone disapproves of as being simply, ‘immature’. Why can’t I do the things I do, think the things I think, because I have a rational reasoning behind it and not because I have maturity or immaturity in thought?

Why am I so annoyed by this whole maturity business? Could it be that I secretly consider myself mature and am upset when people use the word ‘immature’ to refer to me or my conduct?

Well, so what if they do, sulz? Maturity is subjective, just like beauty. For every person who thinks you are beautiful, there will be another person who thinks a cow’s arse has more beauty than you. For every person who thinks you are mature, there will be another person who thinks a nine-year-old kid without tear ducts has more maturity than you. For every characteristic you possess that is generally considered ‘mature’, there is also an ‘immature’ side of you.

So honestly, do you consider yourself mature, sulz?

I don’t consider myself mature or immature, just as I don’t consider myself beautiful or ugly (well, I’m trying for this one). I know I don’t know a lot of things, but I also know I do know some things. Sometimes I sulk, but sometimes I forgive too. Sometimes I make mistakes, but so do you too.

Maturity, or lack of, is not black or white. Please don’t label me either, because in that labelling I feel I am expected to behave in accordance to what is normally associated with the maturity label.

But then again, you are free to form what opinion you might have of me, so I really can’t stop you from thinking how immature I am if you are so convinced.

(Aha, so there you go sulz. You are indeed annoyed at being thought of as immature because you secretly think you are! So who’s immature now?)

Comments on: "This Whole Maturity Business" (20)

  1. 😀 I guess there are a little of both attributes in all of us. We don’t have to accept each statements or criticisms on immaturity or maturity very dramatically. It’s always humbling to know that we are also imperfect 🙂 There is a “childish characteristic” in all of us, that some times unleashes immaturity behavior 😉 It’s OK!

    sulz: hehe, good point! 😀

  2. gentledove said:

    If anyone criticises Liam Galagher he gives them a flying drop kick-take a cue from that!!

    sulz: haha, i’m not quite as mad as him. nor as fit as him! 😛

  3. gentledove said:

    …..just be sure to be wearing knickers

    sulz: for when? :mrgreen:

  4. Yes, what Kiran said. I love my childish characteristic. I am immature a lot and enjoy being that way immensely. On the other hand my daughter was born mature. She told me that living with her father and I is like living with two teenagers. She thinks he and I are very immature. We sit upstairs laughing and giggling and listening to loud music. She actually tells us to turn down the music. I guess everyone is different and some of us never really grow up. Fine by me.

    You know what sweetie, I wouldn’t even worry about it. Just be yourself and be happy.

    sulz: haha, i can see why your daughter’s so mature, in view of her immature parents. :mrgreen: in a way, immaturity keeps us young at heart, despite the negative association!

    i know i should worry less about what people think of me, sigh. i’m not sure when will i ever truly learn that lesson!

  5. I like the quote “It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.” I also, generally, don’t equate the word “happy” to the word “mature”. There is such a thing as responsibility or reliability, but, if you can’t have some good silly fun now and then, you would be a dull sulz. (Which you’re not!) The things you mention sound like normal, human, emotional reactions to me! Sometimes people mix up maturity with emotionlessness (is that a word?). If you were having hissy-fits all the time, then people wouldn’t want to be around you, but honoring your emotions doesn’t make you immature. IMO. 🙂
    Now, pay attention Missy sulz, because I’m about to give you some very mature advice: “When in trouble, when in doubt; run in circles, scream and shout!” 😎

    sulz: interesting quote – i thought childhood is only possible when you’re still a child? not counting the phrase second childhood. 😀

    i think the people who refer to me as immature weren’t exactly talking about silly side, but things they think i shouldn’t do because i’m adult and therefore supposed to be ‘mature’.

    haha, i’d definitely be branded immature if i do that in the office! 😆

    i must say, though, i don’t feel very grown-up now too, so i suppose these people do have a point…

  6. It’s best if people never mature! I haven’t and I don’t intend to! 😀

    sulz: it sounds like people like you immature. not everybody is as lucky as you! 😉

  7. Quite honestly speaking, you are one of few whom I’ve met who I do have high regards to when it comes to maturity. Of course, that’s not to say you don’t have your childish times but then again, we all do 😉

    I think this maturity vs immaturity thing is something I battle against everyday, especially in my line of work. Sure, I definitely feel oh so much more mature than the wittle kids I teach but sometimes, when it comes to handling them or even controlling the things I say to/when around them, I find myself often wondering whether my actions would be deemed rather immature to my colleagues and worse, boss.

    You know I babysit a lot, so I tend to speak and act “kid” a lot. It amuses kids and that makes me happy. I do it so much that sometimes I don’t know how to stop because it’s become a part of my mannerisms now and at times I worry that people think of me as immature when I behave like this among adults.

    So that being said, I try to draw lines when I can/should, but let me loose in Disneyland and, well, I’m just a big kid 😀

    sulz: wow, that is a very big compliment coming from you indeed, knowing how much rubbish i used to utter in class… 😳 thank you!

    you’ve never seen me talk kid (not that kids talk the way i do with them) – it’s probably more annoying and embarrassing! :mrgreen: if they ever do think that of you, i’m sure knowing that you’re a teacher would make it more understandable. remember how we had a few ‘childish-sounding’ lecturers in class before too? that said, i don’t consider you immature too… unlike a certain friend we know. 😉 (but a good, generous person at heart nonetheless – which is a better quality than maturity/immaturity, imo)

    disneyland is the place where nobody grows up, so naturally nobody should be acting too mature… except the people running the theme park rides, hehe.

  8. In my experience, mature = boring (but nobody will admit it) and immature = annoying. Since those are both negative opinions, maturity has to be subjective.

    Therefore, I suppose, it’s best to be neither.

    sulz: haha, so if i thought i’m mature it means i’m boring?? hmm, i do admit i’m not particularly exciting. :mrgreen:

    yeah, just as i don’t view myself as mature or immature (at least, i think i do but we know the truth, hehe).

  9. Maturity & immaturity!! hmmm… I guess like you said we all have both. I end up annoying people I suppose by acting mature when they expect me to be absolutely immature. I have been known to amuse people with my immaturity too…and I am in my early 30s! 🙂 Don’t think it is about being grown up. It is about being you and living life the way you want to 😀

    sulz: oh, i’ve had those moments too! hmm, true… people are really commenting on how the way i live my life.

  10. Maturity is something that grows in increments. Nor is a growth in maturity an across the board experience. There are many instances that I have matured greatly in – other aspects of life I am as frustrating to be around as a little kid. Maturity is not a bad thing. It is a necessary part of survival. The trick is not confusing maturity with obtuseness.

    sulz: survival? hmm, i didn’t consider that before… how could maturity possibly be confused with obtuseness?? there’s stupid and there’s boring. :mrgreen:

  11. I’ve never thought of you as immature. You are still young. Still experiencing new things and life on your own. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders.

    I hope I never grow up! 😉

    sulz: aww, thanks for the vote of confidence! 😀 hehe, i don’t wanna grow up, i’m a toys r us kid… (the ad jingle when i was a kid!) growing up is one thing, growing old… now maybe i’m a bit scared of that!

  12. Methinks its good to be immature at times. Being mature takes away all the fun from life. 🙂
    And you are supposed to make mistakes when you are young. That’s how you become boring….err…mature. 😛

    sulz: haha, good advice! 😀

  13. I dont ever want to mature and become all-knowing and the think-before-you-do-anything kind.:)

    I am immature at times, mature at times. That is certainly the best way to go!

    sulz: you’re right, a bit of both is what i always say! 🙂

  14. Oh… btw,
    I love your new theme!

    sulz: hehe, thanks! only for the season though. 🙂

  15. hi sulz, i realized that i don’t think i’ver ever stopped by here & said hello! :/

    i think you are right about the whole maturity thing being subjective…

    i would venture the following though: generally people who are immature are not concerned or even aware that others see them in this light…

    if this is true, i would suggest that you are not immature

    sulz: yes, this is your first time commenting. thanks and welcome! 😀

    hmm, interesting perspective! but you know, for someone like me who isn’t too keen on getting older, i’m not sure why am i fussing about being considered mature! 😆 i think being the youngest in the office doesn’t feel very good, on top of being new.

    (but yeah, i like to think i’m somewhat mature. 😳 )

  16. I’m in my mid thirties and I can tell you, one can take life too seriously. There are things in life we all choose to find too take seriously, but I think one can find some childish fun in everyday.

    As you say, Maturity is not black and White; and it is subjective.
    I think that maturity is in the ability to intuitively decide: when to be responsible; to Action, Listen; Blow off steam; or just to have some silly fun.
    maturity is really assessing situations and the behavior to fit, silly or serious.– thats my subjective take on maturity.

    sulz: nice take then! 😉 i suppose it’s easy to label me immature on the account of my age, but like many people here feel, i’m not exactly dying to grow up so quick either. 😀 it just irks because from a professional perspective immature is not complimentary!

  17. Gurl! You KNOW that I KNOW you’re not immature.

    sulz: haha! thanks for the vote of confidence. 😉 can i work with you instead? lol.

  18. Is it just me, or is maturity a bit… overrated?

    sulz: judging by the general response to this post, well then yes it is. 😀 in the working world it’s quite valued it seems!

  19. I think maturity means different things in different situations and it’s an aggregate. ie: in the workplace, at least in my experience, maturity translates to professionalism. In one’s life, it could mean responsibility. I guess it adds up. 🙂

    Happy New Year, sulz!

    sulz: it adds up like age, huh? 🙂 i’d like to stay young at heart too, though! happy new year to you too, ellaella!

  20. Kevin Drye said:

    Sulz: I completely agree with everything you just said. I have had the same theory and views in college… ever since I got in about 2 years ago. I was the man in high school cuz i just did whatever i wanted and cuz it was fun!!! College students seem to be too concerned about this maturity thing instead of having fun with life. It seems like a conformity thing too… I have seen a lot of my buddies conform to being mature and now their boring. lol Thanks for blogging this, I really enjoyed it.

    sulz: thanks for your comment, kevin, i likewise enjoyed yours too. 😉 and yeah, please enjoy college life as much as you can ‘cos once your working life starts, it’s very difficult to enjoy it the way you could in college! if i could turn back time that’s what i’d do.

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