blogging gobbledygook and such

I just made a comment in a blog about how I have more friends online than I do in real life… and that just hit me.

Does it sound as pathetic as I think it seems?

I know I’m introverted and I have few friends, but the fact I’ve just casually remarked that I have more friends online than I do in real life, that seems to be an indication of something bad. That I’m a socially maladjusted person. Which I do know I am to some extent but I never thought of myself as the stereotype of someone like that

Oh no, I am that stereotype of a social misfit who doesn’t have (m)any friends and only talk to people via a monitor and seriously lack social skills. I’ve said it countless of times, I just didn’t phrase it as, “I have more friends online than I do in real life.” And that phrase really hit me.

My social skills are far from adequate. I’m very shy around new faces, it takes me a while before I warm up to people (and when I say a while I really mean a few months or years – that’s how long it took me before I actually felt I belong in college), my last two romance-related relationships were online flings, I’m more comfortable writing about personal things than talking about them, ‘cos I talk very ineloquently, full of stammers and repetitive words, so unlike my written diarrhoea where a sentence of mine can go on and on without needing a full stop anytime soon, such as this one.

I think if I were to die a sudden death now I would have more people attending my virtual funeral than real people at the real funeral itself. (On the upside, I would probably have more well-written online obituaries.)

Gah, what will become of me???

Comments on: "The Alter Ego Has More Friends Than the Real Person" (14)

  1. I have had many friends in college, but with job I realized that its very difficult to make friends. So I have started to make online friends ( mainly through my blog).

    Well, I am not sure whether they are friends, but yes I guess people I talk to more are online, than in person.

    I have just 2-3 people who I talk to every day in real life ( apart from my parents)

    Now, I guess I am pretty much in the same boat, right? 😉

    sulz: i’m going through that exactly! i find online friends so much easier to maintain too – you can communicate with them anytime and you have more meaningful conversations sometimes.

  2. that’s not soo bad u know… all you need is a handful of friends (in real life), not a horde of ’em. and writing is your asset, rather than elocution… thats why people like you here!!

    go on, write some more

    sulz: you made some good points! i still wish i’m less socially awkward sometimes, though. but i guess i am who i am.

    i won’t stop writing, don’t you worry. 🙂

  3. I agree with above commenters. I don’t worry about the quantity of friends that I have, only whether they enhance my life, and I theirs. As long as you have people to shop or travel or eat with, it’s ok, right? I’m sure I would know less people if I weren’t involved in groups, and blogging is one of those. Also, it sure seems that people “come and go” in the blogworld even more than in RL, although in the groups that happens, too.
    I have a friend who has known me since I was BORN, who is coming to visit next month, but this is rare. And the thing is, we don’t really communicate much otherwise. But we do have this history, and can revive the relationship when we are nearby.
    I do like about blogging that I can post and comment and email in my own time. I sometimes keep strange hours. I wouldn’t call a friend at 2am to go out (although I know some people who would) 😉 but I can blog then when I’m up, and people can talk back to me when they are.

    sulz: yeah, mohit made a good point! when i was in college, i had equal share among friends in classes and friends online, so i felt somewhat balanced. now, my online friends are who keeps me going every day, while my real life friends are little ‘treats’, we meet up occasionally and it’s a big deal for me when we do.

    wow, that must be a special friendship! yes, i like blogging for that sort of communication but i also like the instantaneous ones. i think i need to add some blog buddies on my messenger!

  4. I’m quite similar to you. I have more OL than RL friends. I know I’m a social misfit. I don’t fit in here in Korea (actually I stick out like a sore thumb). I don’t fit in back home in the US.


    sulz: do you like being in korea, though, in spite of that? how nice would it be if we could form a new world of social misfits like us so we can live there away from the socially fit. oh wait, i think it’s called the internet. 😆

  5. actually… i think quality is more important than quantity, but it won’t hurt to boost up quantity. 🙂 and oh, i think i have fewer online friends than you but i guess finding people who means much to you is more important than having a large network (but this is not to say it’s not good to form large networks).

    sulz: yeah. i would like to find quality friends in real life (i think i have good ones enough online already) but i don’t ‘click’ with people easily. it seems easier to do so online. oh well, i think things like that, it will come in time, like love. i hope!

  6. Once u leave college its hard to make new real life friends. Not every one is lucky to have their colleagues as friends. So online friends are good especially those made thru blogging.

    sulz: i’m finding out how true that is with each job i have! thank goodness for online buddies. 😀

  7. Well, I must say I have an equal share of online and offline friends. Some online have become offline too.
    As many have said, it is not the quantity but the quality of friends you have. So, end of the day if you like your friends whatever their origin and they like you – that is about it – don’t ya think? 😀

    sulz: so far i have met one blog buddy in person. most of the people i can’t meet ‘cos they live so far away! yet that is so strange – they live so far away from me and yet i feel closer to them than people who are near me.

    yeah, it would be kinda stupid to look for more friends in real life just because the online quota exceeded it. 😆

  8. I am the same, but it really doesn’t bother me now, it used to.

    It sounds cliched, but I don’t care about quantity, I care about quality.

    And I’ve found more quality in some of my international friends with whom I communicate by writing using the internet. That is all.

    sulz: simple and direct. 🙂

  9. oh please sulz……..DEATH ……..ghosh, are you going nuts
    its not about being socially maladjusted ……its just that evreyone is different ……and its not a virtual world where we all are fictitious characters….the only difference is that we are all too far off to meet
    think positive…………..remember “glass half empty and half full”
    and you were eager to see the garfield……he has been revealed …but just the snaps from his childhood( curiosity continues……lolz )

    :p 😆

    sulz: sometimes i like to be not different – i think this is one of those moments! 😆 and about the half-empty half-full glass, my response is: what glass in the first place? 😛

    yeah you misled me! 😦 i really thought i could see a picture of you… in more recent times!

  10. and you added 2 more page…..will check them asap 😛

    sulz: yup, i did!

  11. actually i was thinking of including the farewell snaps as well but i had already prepared and posted the slide show when i got them
    nonetheless , you will get to see me…..but you just have to wait a little more….( garfield likes to play games 😆 )

    sulz: ah, so i will see you soon. good! i’m very curious. 😀

  12. it is true.. even my alter ego has more friends than my real self…
    i feel more free to write what i think than say.

    but having said that, i don’t feel it is some maladjustment. people are different. we may fell shy in presence of people but can say when the person is not visible. as we don’t feel being judged. i was a quiet one even in college. but while writing.. well you can see i can create some controversies. 🙂

    so you are not maladjusted. you have freinds. its just that when we are younger we connect better with anyone but as we grow up we have our minds made up on the kind of people we want to be with. and maybe you are not finding anyone like that or the time to look for someone like that.

    sulz: i’m just like you! and your last paragraph has some truth in it, at least in my situation. in college i had a few people like me, but at work there isn’t any like-minded people.

  13. Awww, sulz. I feel your pain. Even though my social skills were drummed into me and developed from the earliest possible age, I am quite shy around new people, and all the social skills in the world don’t remove shyness.

    What I do with new people is ask them about themselves or compliment them on something (scarf, whatever) I really do like. Most people love to talk about themselves so the more I ask about them, the more I think I’m a brilliant conversationalist! 😀

    sulz: it doesn’t?? i thought it would make you feel more confident ‘cos you’d know the right things to say… yeah, that’s my ‘strategy’ too, but when i do that, they just give me one-word answers. sometimes i’m afraid if i’m asking too personal questions, so i end up not asking anymore in the end. 😦

  14. I think that you are just more comfortable expressing yourself in writing. this is not a bad thing!

    I think most people find social situations stressful to some degree, it’s just that some people have better coping mechanisms. I find meeting lots of new people in one go very stressful, but I just try to keep in mind that there are probably quite a few of them feeling equally nervous. Also, I used to cling to the idea that if a situation was really awful – I could always leave. I would even chant this to myself in the car on the way to a particularly horrific event. “I can always leave, I can always leave” It gives you a sense of control that allows you to relax a bit and feel a little more confidant.

    Also, as Oorja says – you can express yourself more honestly in writing, so often in conversation, I find that the topic changes before I have said what I wanted to. Online, you can be honest and really say what you mean.

    sulz: it is not a bad thing, true – i would hate to lose that skill ever! – but i wish i have better interpersonal skills as well. with your strategy, you know what i’d do? i’d really leave! and that was quite bad what happened after, in my past experiences doing that. 😆

    yeah, i know! i find that some clients don’t listen to me, especially when i try to explain things related to the project we’re working on because they just think what they have is always better than what i can suggest. 😐 thankfully there are some who actually listened to me. sometimes i get amazed even! tricky thing, this talking to people business.

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