I just made a comment in a blog about how I have more friends online than I do in real life… and that just hit me.
Does it sound as pathetic as I think it seems?
I know I’m introverted and I have few friends, but the fact I’ve just casually remarked that I have more friends online than I do in real life, that seems to be an indication of something bad. That I’m a socially maladjusted person. Which I do know I am to some extent but I never thought of myself as the stereotype of someone like that…
Oh no, I am that stereotype of a social misfit who doesn’t have (m)any friends and only talk to people via a monitor and seriously lack social skills. I’ve said it countless of times, I just didn’t phrase it as, “I have more friends online than I do in real life.” And that phrase really hit me.
My social skills are far from adequate. I’m very shy around new faces, it takes me a while before I warm up to people (and when I say a while I really mean a few months or years – that’s how long it took me before I actually felt I belong in college), my last two romance-related relationships were online flings, I’m more comfortable writing about personal things than talking about them, ‘cos I talk very ineloquently, full of stammers and repetitive words, so unlike my written diarrhoea where a sentence of mine can go on and on without needing a full stop anytime soon, such as this one.
I think if I were to die a sudden death now I would have more people attending my virtual funeral than real people at the real funeral itself. (On the upside, I would probably have more well-written online obituaries.)
Gah, what will become of me???