blogging gobbledygook and such

Work & Emotions

Finished the article! Relief.

Enjoying the rest of the day off with an unputdownable book! Bliss.

Have another day off tomorrow to enjoy! Fantastic.

Twitter-like statements aside, I have been wrestling with some emotions which I feel as if I shouldn’t be feeling. Now that I’ve worked at my dream job for over a month, the rose-tinted glasses have fallen off. It’s only natural that I am beginning to have gripes about certain people and the way some things work at the bookshop. They make up a part of the emotions I feel every day at the shop.

I am confused, however, at the emotions that I feel about my job itself. The things I do at the bookshop… don’t feel like work. And I feel strange about that.

This is the part where you might want to slap me on the head a bit. I’ve been moaning about how my previous jobs felt like such a chore, and now that I’m doing work at the bookshop that doesn’t feel like work, I feel strange about it???

Maybe strange is not the right adjective. Perhaps I feel… uneasy? Yes, but I have no good reason to feel that. I feel… underworked? Yes, but I shouldn’t feel guilty about that!

Don’t get me wrong, I quite enjoy my job. It’s experimental, fun and exciting. The success of which has yet to be proven, but that is where part of the excitement comes from.

It just doesn’t feel like work. I mean, it is work, I enjoy doing it most of the time but the tasks that I do, I feel it does not justify my pay. I feel… overpaid.

Yes, isn’t that the most ridiculous thing to think? This is in no way suggesting that I should be paid less, but it doesn’t stop me from thinking this way. One reason could be that I see most of my colleagues working their butts off for the bookshop but are being paid significantly less than me simply because they do not have a degree. While I get to enjoy sitting on my butt the whole day, should I choose not to help attend to the retail duties.

I’m also finding it hard to accept that my proper title should be marketing executive. When people ask me what I do at the bookshop, the term ‘marketing executive’ comes to mind but I can feel the reluctance in my mouth as I utter them. I don’t feel like a marketing executive. Yes, I have all these ideas on how to improve the bookshop and why we should do it, but that doesn’t make me a marketing executive. That makes me a person who is just saying what she would do if this bookshop were her own.

Comments on: "Work & Emotions" (7)

  1. I guess when we go for a job, the idea is that we work and we earn. But I guess you like your job so it doesn’t feel like work. I guess you should get used to it because, you know, you have the degree. Think of all the money you’re getting as salary for slogging all those years studying. It ain’t your fault that the other guys have to work their butts off, is it? That said, you could help them if that makes you feel any better.

    That makes me a person who is just saying what she would do if this bookshop were her own.

    Yea, you got the title wrong. You’re the owner of the bookshop, not the marketing executive. How cool is that now? Free books, please?๐Ÿ˜›

    sulz: you’re right, of course… i’ll just have to work harder. i find it ironic that people who do physical jobs get paid less than people who don’t. and i do try to help out, yes.

    haha, i don’t mean to make it sound like that! even i had to buy my own books from the shop – after staff discount it’s still quite a lot of money to pay!๐Ÿ˜ฆ

  2. I second Ish!!

    sulz: sorry, no free books.๐Ÿ˜›

  3. I understand why you feel so uneasy. You shouldn’t apologize for it. But I also think you don’t give yourself enough credit. Your degrees aren’t something that were given to you magically by a fairy who thought you were cute. No, you worked for them, invested money, time and effort on them (even if it was your parents money). Now, you are more valuable for your bosses and the shop for your potential and your ideas that for any “hard work” you could be doing. You would be wasted doing the same work as your coworkers who have no degrees. As you start to realize this you’ll see how your title and pay are not too much. You’ll beging to feel better as your work starts producing more tangible things. Remember you’re just starting now.

    sulz: my degree was funded by a study loan i’m paying back now. i wonder if i needed that degree to do what i do now? you and ish have a point. the effects of my degree and past work experience may not seem to contribute in an obvious way to my job now but it would have shaped the way i think and work.

    and yes, i’m just starting. thanks for reminding me. i am an impatient person, as you know. i wish i had some results to show now from the effort i’ve put in my project at the shop!

  4. “I find it ironic that people who do physical jobs get paid less than people who donโ€™t. and i do try to help out, yes.”

    I don’t find it ironic. The reason is that it only takes being a healthy human to do lots of physical work. For the most cases it doesn’t require any special preparation. If I want someone who carries boxes, cleans and arranges things in my store, I won’t have to look too hard. Of course this doesn’t justify unfair treatment of employees, how sometimes bosses make it clear that they should abide to their crazy rules because there are lots of people lining up to do the job anyway.

    At the hospital I always felt weird around nurse assistants. No matter how hard I had to study and do shifts, their work was crazy hard. They spent their shifts standing up, administering medications, executing orders, running around, bathing patients, cleaning their mess. Most were around my age and gave me weird looks. Maybe they thought “she doesn’t have it that bad because shees this “dooctor” *rolls eyes*”. Well, my work is just different. I didn’t just happen to get this role. I trained for years compared to three semesters. I’m not injecting a patient or bathing them, but I was the one who decided what treatment to give them to make them better. My training gave me the knowledge to analyse a case and make a decision, and then everyone in charge of executing it is just following my orders. Therefore it’s my responsibility. If I spent my time doing their job, I would be wasting my capabilities.

    Sometimes in medicine when the case is too complicated you’ll want someone even more specialized. This is a person that often doesn’t work that hard, but has a trained brain to solve cases that most people wouldn’t. They just come, analyze, decide and go away. And they earn at least 20 times as much as the people who execute their orders. They also trained for about a lifetime to get there.

    I’m not sure if I made my point the way I wanted to, but education does mean something. Your increased abilities make you a valuable resource for the place you work at. It’s only fair that you are compensated accordingly.

    sulz: you made many good points! i guess i might be taking for granted my education and experience just because i’m not as good at shelving and storing books as my colleagues. maybe my boss doesn’t expects me to anyway. i hope.๐Ÿ˜›

  5. */That makes me a person who is just saying what she would do if this bookshop were her own./*

    sorry to remind you.. but that is not your book shop. you work there.. so you ought to get paid good. not only because you invested in your studies. but the bookshop needs someone to give those ideas.. anyone can lift books and slog all day but not all can run blogs and generate more sales.

    and not all jobs involve intense physiacal work.. think what your job is worth for the bookshop.. is it bringing in new customers has it improved sales..? if yes then you are working.

    and that is what a marketing executive does.. thinks of ways to improve sales. so you are doing your job..๐Ÿ™‚

    don’t bother yourself thinking too much.

    sulz: there’s no need to remind me – i know it’s not mine!๐Ÿ˜†

    it’s not proven if what i’m suggesting is effective. yet. cross fingers!

    you ought to know by now i’m quite a worrywart sometimes, to put it mildly!

  6. You know, I think that if it doesn’t feel like work to you, that suggests that you’re exactly the right person for the job.

    sulz: i hope i am! now i feel a bit pressured to make it a success.๐Ÿ˜ฎ haha.

  7. I think when you really like your job, it won’t feel like a job.
    Maybe, you really like working here.

    sulz: i do, it’s the nicest one among all the jobs i’ve had.๐Ÿ™‚ and i hope there are more good things to come!

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