blogging gobbledygook and such

recently i lost my temper a few times. one incident happened on my penultimate day at my previous job. another happened yesterday.

i was angry about a financial situation that i tried to work my way around but couldn’t. it was frustrating for me because i’ve been waiting for my paycheck since i quit my job. because of the financial situation i am only able to withdraw my salary on the day i’m due to begin my new job. i much rather solve my money issues before then as i am planning to make an expensive purchase.

when things don’t go my way, i get upset. i guess we all do, the only difference being the way we react to the situation. i get angry when the chain of events do not make sense to me. i get angry when i feel unfairly treated. you could say i get worked up easily.

i know i have a bad temper and that it could be a downfall, a flaw in my character. when you get mad quickly, you get stressed easily and you may react irrationally due to the anger. i am aware of that and i do try to the best of my ability to control my temper in situations where i realise losing it will not help the situation.

i guess being angry doesn’t help much. for instance, if i’m stuck in a traffic jam, i might get worked up. but what’s the point? my anger does not make the traffic go away. yet, i find that as pointless as it may seem to be angry about a situation i may not be able to change at the moment in time, expressing that anger helps me in a therapeutic sense.

it’s like crying. i try not to cry, but if i can’t help it i just have to let the tears fall. i cry until i can’t anymore and then i try to move on. so like the tears, i release my anger so that i can get over my rage and move on.

people with well-meaning intentions have advised me to stay cool and try not to lose my temper. maybe i lose it more often than the average, even-tempered person. to me, i feel like anger is passion viewed negatively. anger is mostly not a nice emotion. but without anger, i don’t believe there is passion. that’s not to say people who do not get angry are not passionate people. i believe that if you have passion, you have anger too.

anger and passion, they are like two sides of a coin. they are both fueled by a motivation, except that anger has a negative motivation and passion a positive motivation.

so, even though it’s not good that i get angry over things that seem trivial after the anger is gone, i appreciate that i could feel and express anger. because if i could do that, i could feel and express its alter ego – passion.

maybe i should not just express my anger but also learn how to channel it positively. then my anger will be a good thing to possess!

Comments on: "that double-edged fire." (5)

  1. Controlling one’s temper is usually a difficult thing. I used to have a terrible temper. Still do at times. The weird thing is I rarely get mad over large events. What usually trips my trigger has mostly been inconsequential events. When my temper flares beyond control, I find a way to isolate myself where I can vent without worrying about others. In my younger days I was bad at taking my temper out on inanimate objects. Perhaps aging and experience has helped me mellow. I don’t know. I still get mad at times but I rarely lose control of my temper anymore.

    • tell me about it. i’m pretty much the same. i won’t blow up at the thing that makes me upset. i’m more likely to snap at the smallest thing – the final straw that broke the camel’s back or something along those lines.

  2. I suppose one could always follow the advice of royals -such as King Arthur and Lady Guinevere– when faced with events that try the minds ability to control crippling emotional moments!

  3. Controlling anger can be tough. In my case, I get worked up for things that are not life threatening at all. Like a week back, when i reached hoe, I found that two tress that used to shade my balcony from the road had been massacred. They were’nt trees in my compound, or those that I planted. In fact, I shifted to this house just 4 months ago.

    But the rage that enveloped me! Took me about 2 hours to calm down. Why? Don’t know? And for what joy? None!

    I guess the trick is to NOT REACT, but to just respond to situations. But well, gyan’s all there. Practicing it is tough. In times of anger bursts, gyan never comes to mind 😉

    • lol that is a really strange thing to get upset over! but i guess your balcony won’t be as nice to be at without the shade from the trees.

      what is gyan?

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