(before i start, isn’t it a coincidence that this month’s posts all fall on the 8th? 8th, 18th, 28th…)
my new job (well, it will be my third month in august) teaches me many things every day. i’m also getting to know new people, mostly from my department which has about 20 of us perhaps? but we work in shifts so it’s not all 20 of us each day.
i think a part of us changes when we go through a new experience. it feels like this new job is slowly changing me. i know new people and i’m doing new things at this new place.
one thing i did that stuck out the most to me was that i had a drink after work at the bar near my office. on the surface, it seemed like i was having drinks with two old men (who are my colleagues from the same department).
let me explain that picture. i’m no prude, i do have drinks on an occasion, but so far it’s only with close girlfriends. so the fact i’m having a drink is not unusual. it’s the two old men that may make the picture seem a little wrong, if you knew me in person.
if you knew me in person, you’d know my circle of friends is largely made up of the same sex as i am. i’m not uncomfortable with the opposite sex. it just so happens that in all my previous jobs, there were more women than men. and i didn’t exactly stay long enough to keep in touch with any of them, save the bookshop ex-colleagues.
if you knew me in person, the sight of me laughing and drinking with two old men (old enough to be my father) might seem strange to you and might warrant some questions like:
– why is she hanging out with old men?
– do they have any hidden motives for wanting to drink with her?
before i answer those questions, i must admit i do feel a twinge of awkwardness for hanging out with these two colleagues. not because i don’t want to hang out with them but because of what people might think when they see me with them. (yes, yes, i know i should give a flying fuck about what people think of me just as long as my conscience is clear. let me get to the point first.) i don’t want people thinking that i’m one of those girls – the kind that dates or hangs out with old men because they’re loaded.
now, to answer the questions:
– i hang out with them because one, they’re my colleagues and two, they’re people whose company i enjoy.
– i don’t know if they have hidden motives but they have been nothing but gentlemen towards me and my other female colleagues (though one of them has a reputation for hanging out with other girls my age). i think that deserves the benefit of the doubt if anything.
but really, does it matter that i enjoy the company of two men who are old enough to be my father? perhaps if you don’t know me that well you might question our relationship. but i know me and i like to be around people that i can talk to and tease and gossip and enjoy a bit of fun. they may be old on the outside, but on the inside they are about as young as i am in some ways.
i know about wolves in sheeps’ clothing, and i know my limit when it comes to drinking (two and i get tipsy, haha) and the dangers of spiked drinks. perhaps time might prove my naivete of this friendship. or maybe they are genuine people. my naivete likes to think the latter is the case.