blogging gobbledygook and such

the seeds of discontent

unhappiness from the boredom of routine and frustration of certain people at work is beginning to get me down. i don’t want to and i won’t leave my job but thinking about this makes me feel lower than i’ve been in a while. i know i have a lot to learn with this job, but it feels as if certain people expect me to know more than i actually do. i suppose this is all part of life’s lessons, but damn it’s real hard to swallow sometimes.

a couple of weeks ago i went to vacation in penang. it was my first time there and i enjoyed it tremendously with my travel buddy. i managed to score a free hotel voucher so we stayed at the holiday inn by the beach free of charge, which was extra sweet. the five-hour bus ride wasn’t, though!

one might think a trip like that would’ve refreshed my spirits, a break from the work routine. instead, the past few days has left me feeling very negative and down in the dumps. mostly, it’s to do with certain issues going on at work. i haven’t confided in anyone about it (except here in the blog, part of it). maybe keeping all the negative feelings inside is affecting me.

i don’t dare to talk to colleagues at work about it because it feels like i’m admitting a weakness. i’m not saying i put up an image of perfection there, but it seems like everybody is happy and doing well at work. i don’t want to feel inadequate. though i am actually feeling so, aren’t i?

i just have to go through this personal storm and hopefully i will come out of it quick and be in a better place than i am right now.

Comments on: "the seeds of discontent" (4)

  1. Dear Sulz,

    Sounds like you feel you’re different, being dissatisfied. Feeling different is positive; you can own and explore your own unique individuality, in good faith with your true self. Perhaps information and support on the Inner Bonding site might help you learn to listen to and trust your insights and intuitions as vital information for you from you to you by you > Many articles can be accessed without paid membership with email sign up. Main message is take your unhappy feelings seriously, be willing to feel and learn about what you’re feeling, ask your inner feeling self exactly what you’re feeling about what, ask yourself how your feelings arose, both now, and from where and when in the past, ask yourself, your inner feeling self and your imagined-invoked wiser loving self, what your truth is for you, and what loving actions you can take to honour and love and care for yourself, implement those insights and actions, and evaluate them to see if they help you feel real joy and peace and satisfaction in being yourself in your life.

    Hope this may help. Have checked the Inner Bonding site and am not quite sure whether free membership is still available, although think so, but will check today. Best wishes for your happiness in being all of you, Leaf.

    • hi leaflittering, thanks for the comment and advice. to be honest, i don’t want to delve too deep into my feelings because of what i’m afraid to find. i don’t think i can handle something like that on my own and at the moment, there’s no one i can do that comfortably with.

  2. Good luck dealing with work place frustration. I was there a few months back, and now out of it. If it gets to you continuously, I think its worth thinking whats the cause and addressing it with your boss.

    • hi aathira, glad to know you’ve come out of your bad work situation. perhaps i’ll get lucky like you too. now, if only i have the courage!

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