unhappiness from the boredom of routine and frustration of certain people at work is beginning to get me down. i don’t want to and i won’t leave my job but thinking about this makes me feel lower than i’ve been in a while. i know i have a lot to learn with this job, but it feels as if certain people expect me to know more than i actually do. i suppose this is all part of life’s lessons, but damn it’s real hard to swallow sometimes.
a couple of weeks ago i went to vacation in penang. it was my first time there and i enjoyed it tremendously with my travel buddy. i managed to score a free hotel voucher so we stayed at the holiday inn by the beach free of charge, which was extra sweet. the five-hour bus ride wasn’t, though!
one might think a trip like that would’ve refreshed my spirits, a break from the work routine. instead, the past few days has left me feeling very negative and down in the dumps. mostly, it’s to do with certain issues going on at work. i haven’t confided in anyone about it (except here in the blog, part of it). maybe keeping all the negative feelings inside is affecting me.
i don’t dare to talk to colleagues at work about it because it feels like i’m admitting a weakness. i’m not saying i put up an image of perfection there, but it seems like everybody is happy and doing well at work. i don’t want to feel inadequate. though i am actually feeling so, aren’t i?
i just have to go through this personal storm and hopefully i will come out of it quick and be in a better place than i am right now.