Archive for the ‘Fat’ Category
Male bras or bras for men are specially designed brassieres for men who have large breasts. Such enlargement of breasts may be the result of obesity or gynecomastia. Gynecomastia is a condition that involves the enlargement of breasts due to abnormal mammary glands. This condition may be caused by the abnormal response of tissues to an imbalance of sex hormones in men. Other causes of this condition are diseases and side effects of synthetic medicine.
This condition in men can bring about distress or embarrassment, which is why bras for men were invented. This type of bra provides support to your breasts. Bras for men also help you in move comfortably despite your large chest. They also give a better look to your body form. As a result, your clothes may look better on you.
Bras for men don’t have that much difference from the brassieres designed for and worn by women. They also have a wide variety of cup sizes that you can choose from. The size of your chest determines the size of the cups of your bra.
One of the first things you must do before shopping for bras for men is research. Turn to different sources online to find ideas and the best source of bras for men. Also, you can search for online forums where the members are other men who wear or plan to wear bras. These forums can make you feel that you’re not alone in your condition. You’re more likely to gain motivation in searching for your own bra knowing that other men have their own.
Another thing you can do to make your search for bras easier is to ask for assistance. This may be from your female friends who wear bras or other men who have experience in shopping for bras for men. This is a way for you to be better guided in finding your own set of bras. Tagging a friend along also makes shopping more comfortable and less stressful.
Remember to be open when consulting other people about bras for men. Ask your friends about certain questions that may be bothering you. Inquire from salespeople about bra sizing. Confide in them if you think a certain bra is comfortable or irritating. They can better help you find the most suitable male bra.
My current technique is a kind of reverse psychology where I’ve started calling absolutely everyone fatty, no matter how large or small they are, so that everyone can feel bad about themselves, not just a select few.
Liberté, Égalité, Fatté
– Alabaster Crippens on how to make fat people feel good
Having recently shown a few pictures to a select number of regular blog readers, am wondering if am as fat as once thought. More than half who commented said am not fat. That’s at least six people. Perhaps one person can be wrong about something, maybe two, but six people?
Okay, not only six people, but countless of others who have insisted am not fat.
But these are friends. And friends are known to be indulgent. They can’t tell you to your face if you suck. They would tactfully say things in such a way that your flaw doesn’t sound like a flaw anymore. Or some slimmer girlfriends would pinch their so-called flab on their flat tummies and wail about gaining weight / being fat, and in the same breath, tongue firmly in cheek, irony totally lost in them, when countered with them self’s flab for comparison, claim that am not fat. Uh, where’s the logic in that…
And that’s not what have been told at home. They say family tell you the truth, even if it hurts. Em has always been vocal about self’s weight. She makes self feel shy to wear shorts any shorter than above the knee, because she would look at self’s thunder thighs with such distaste. It is only this year that have actually worn a skirt which length is above the knee; for years have been hiding tree trunk legs in long skirts or pants. She makes quips like young unmarried girls shouldn’t be fat so they would look good when wearing their wedding dress some day. The first thing she comments about after meeting self’s friends is their body size.
Okay, even am not that neurotic not to realise that Em is a terrible example to refer to about body issues!
That doesn’t hide the fact that according to self’s BMI (the Asian BMI, not the conventional BMI that is more suited to Caucasians) am overweight. Am scientifically / medically considered overweight. Isn’t that proof enough?
Hmm, the question shouldn’t even be that. The question isn’t are you fat. The question is
Do you feel beautiful?
Yesterday, told Dee that plan to buy McDonald’s after class on the way home (because want to make use of the coupon), and would he like anything for dinner from there? He said to get him a couple of Filet-O-Fish.
So today after class, called him to tell him that am going to the drive-thru and does he still want them, in case he had gotten himself something else or if he felt like eating something else today. He said he wanted two Filet-O-Fish.
And when reached home, found out that he bought a Subway sandwich for self for dinner.
Uh, isn’t it logical that if have called you to tell you that hey, am going to McDonald’s, do you want anything? it basically means that am going primarily to get self’s own dinner, and perhaps you should’ve informed self that you have got self’s dinner already?
He claimed that have told him to get self a Subway for dinner, when did not said so! But he’s always been forgetful and absent-minded like that, so what’s done is done. We’d just share the Subway sandwich together on top of our McDonald dinner.
Then Em had to butt in and chastise us for buying more food than we need and eating more than we should. Then she nagged and nagged about the evils of fast food, how once you overeat how hard it is to lose the weight (a moment on your lips, a lifetime on your hips 🙄 ), how pizza is full of cheese and calories (how pizza came into the picture have no freaking clue) etc etc.
We don’t eat them every day. And we most certainly don’t buy more food than we should eat all the time or often enough. It was a mistake on Dee’s part, and he’s agreed to share half with self. It’s done, let’s just get over it.
Why does Em have to freaking lecture us for that?! Especially in that fucking superior, holier-than-thou tone… grrrrrrrrrr!!!!
Seriously, it’s her attitude about food like that that influences self in the way am seeing food too. Each time eat something that’s considered ‘unhealthy’ would feel incredibly guilty and feel like a total loser and failure for succumbing to ‘hedonistic’ gastronomic pleasures.
Am saying that sometimes, it’s okay to indulge. You don’t have to kill yourself if you ate a bit more than you should at a party. So you had one too many chocolate cake yesterday. You don’t do that every day, do you? So you ate too much ice-cream last night. Just eat something else today.
(And if you really feel that bad for overeating today, just walk a bit more the next day.)
In between classes today, went for brunch with some classmates. There was a newly-opened gym nearby, and the promotion sounded attractive, so these friends went for a tour and just went along because there wasn’t anything else to do.
The five of us, we’re what self referred to as porky when we were in the car on the way to the place we had brunch. So imagine 5 porky people taking the gym tour…
Yeap, we definitely attracted stares from people in the gym and probably not the right kind either. Was actually slightly interested in joining the gym, because the promotion seemed pretty good (which turned out to be not good at all, typical of misleading advertisements), and going with friends to the gym after class will be the best kind of motivation to get fit. But as we walked around the gym, it’s obvious that those stares, we would be getting them perpetually should we actually hit the gym together.
And as the fitness trainer went about talking about the machines and the classes and what they would do to our bodies, couldn’t help feeling defensive about self’s body. On one hand, it’s ridiculous as there’s no doubt that am not exactly the healthiest of people and could stand to lose a few pounds. On the other hand, the gym, with mirrors instead of walls and superior-looking gym buffs hanging around snidely leering at our porkiness, seem to say with their eyes that everything about self’s body is wrong and
this is where you can start to fix the mess you’ve made out of porking that we don’t really belong here, because the gym is for fitness freaks like us who actually care about our health and not porky people like you who want to come here to look like us.
Okay, that was clearly nothing but the stretch of self’s paranoid imagination, but you get the idea. It’s no wonder fat people dislike going to the gym. Honestly, many fat people go to the gym not thinking they genuinely want to lose weight and get fit, but they want to be forced into doing that. Going to the gym means they have to fork out money, and this is the factor that binds them into going to the gym. Because otherwise there are other cheaper options to get fit, isn’t it?
They really should have a gym only for fat people.
Why don’t you try The Critic’s New Weight Loss Plans? It’s so hilarious am tempted to copy and paste the entire post here. Shall make do with teasing quotes instead.
After taking IntestiShine, let me tell you, there’s no more forcible action than cleansing your intestinal tract, several times a day.
By the third day, I was feeling a bit weary, my bottom was tender, and I had caught up on three months’ worth of People magazine back issues. Thank goodness for the fast-action IntestiShine Bottom Balm! But I could feel my body being cleansed, a blank slate on which to write my new self upon — all while perched atop my porcelain pedestal, violently crapping. According to its literature, IntestiShine works by reacting with the body’s liquids, foaming and then sweeping through the intestines. You really can feel those bubbles scrubbing, like a little army of fat, bald janitors, their tiny mustaches bristling as they nod hello… did I mention the hallucinations?
IntestiShine may be found wherever vitamins, diet aids and adult diapers are sold.
The “I’m in a Movie and This is Just a Fat Suit” Plan
For this method to work, ladies, you must be really fat to begin with. If you’re not sure if you’re fat enough, try holding up a pair of your biggest underpants. Are they hilarious? If you answered “yes,” then you’re totally fat enough, fatty.
Figuring out that you’re fat and in a movie are just the first steps to your amazing weight loss, though — the rest is all a matter of attitude. Be careful not to be too bitchy, loud, aggressive — you know, for a chick — or, God forbid, “sassy.” That kind of uppity stuff could land you in an Eddie Murphy movie, where you’ll never get to ditch the fat suit and you’ll get all the comedic abuse you deserve, chubcakes.
Better to tone it down. It’s a good idea to practice routines, such as Sighing Dejectedly At The Sight of Thin Happy Couples and Gazing Longingly at Tiny Bathing Suits in Store Windows.
Do this for 20 to 40 minutes or so, depending on the plot. (Hint: it’ll take less time if you’re in a flashback.)
Then, wait for the diet montage. You’ll know it’s happening when you hear the song “Suddenly I See.”