I notice that I’ve been viewing my job and jobs I’m interested in the same way I view guys I like and their potential in a relationship with me.
My current job came to me by chance. I wasn’t looking for a job, but I chanced upon the classified. I thought, “There’s no harm in trying for an interview. You don’t get a job that you are interested in, which is near your house, every day!” And when I got the job, I was only given a day to decide because I was leaving for Macau that weekend. I took it, because again, you don’t get a job offer you are interested in, with a workplace that’s near your home every day!
Just like my previous involvement with a guy, which happened by chance too. I mean, nobody goes around looking to have an Internet relationship… but it happened to me. And I was interested. (Maybe still am. Maybe.) And it would be stupid to turn something you’re interested in down just because of your conception of an Internet relationship and the society’s misconception about it, right? And it’s not like guys are lining up around my block waiting to catch a glimpse of me. So, I took that chance.
The longer I work at this job, the more things I discover I don’t like. Like the condition of the restroom. Or the stifling silence at the office. Or being around people who speaks a language I don’t speak, which makes it hard for me – a natural conversationalist to begin with – to socialise. And then I wonder if I’m cut out for the job. Wonder if this is the right job for me. I was interested, but I’m not so sure if I am anymore. Do I break up with this job?
Just like the previous guys I liked, the longer I got to know them, the more I saw another side of them I was less than thrilled about. My first boyfriend’s fervent faith of his religion, which became the reason he dumped me. This guy’s two-timing streak – he liked me, I didn’t want to be in a relationship, he found another girl he liked, he ended up with her even though he liked me. And she knew it too. (Yeah, we even spoke and were friends for a bit after he left the picture.) And the previous guy’s many many priorities which led to his unavailability. Of course I wondered if I was right to continue my involvement with them then, and contemplated ending all ties (I did at some point and changed my mind later. Can’t help my treacherous heart.).
But then, I think about what I like about the job. I have a great supervisor. I’m making good use of my degree and using my best assets for work (my natural tendency for grammar… but I’m not grammatically perfect, you can find plenty of mistakes in my blog). I have a 5-day week work, with hardly any overtime. Just a few days ago, I even got to read my book because I completed all my work early. (I helped my colleagues until there wasn’t anything I could do. I even rearranged the recycled paper stack and refilled the copier with paper, that’s how free I was. Then I harassed colleagues for more work but since they could find none, I was allowed to read so I could get off their backs. 😀 ) My job is very predictable – nothing unexpected (and unwelcomed) dumped on me last minute. It’s something I know I can do better the more I do it. If I ever consider leaving, this part of the job would make me very reluctant to, because there are no guarantees I will get the same luxury in the next job.
And of course there were reasons I liked the guys I liked. The first boyfriend was charismatic and willing to talk to me on the phone every day (hey, I was 14, and he was self-absorbed.. most of the time he was talking, honestly). This guy was sensitive, intuitive and spoke good English – we were on the same wavelength. And the previous guy was sweet, generous, forgiving and idealistic. Remembering these parts of them is the reason why I’ve always found it hard to get over them and let go. I don’t like guys easily, and I don’t fall out it easily too.
The difference between my job and I, and my relationship and I, is that I pursue my job with my head, and I pursue my relationships with my heart. So far, neither has any proven results. Perhaps I need to pursue my job with my heart, and relationships with my head.
bloggerdygook 
Comments on: "Jobs Are Like Relationships" (10)
The thing is sulz, whether it is a guy or job relationship, if one side of it is not fulfilling the other, then it just won’t work out and you will struggle just to keep the relationship going all the while remaining miserable. It takes work from both sides. And just as you have never “settled” for a particular guy, don’t just “settle” for a job either. However, careful on who and what you decide to let go…you’ll know it’s right when both the head and the heart are intertwined 😉
That’s my ramble for the day!
sulz: i don’t know if i’m being too fussy and end up getting out of the frying pan into the fire if i did something about it, or if i should stay put and work it out. some days seem to get better, and others seem to get worse.
oh well, i’ll cross that bridge when it comes! 🙂 and you’re not rambling; henry would’ve agreed with me. 😀
Interesting insight, sulz. I think any relationship is like a relationship, um, I mean, I can have a relationship with a book, or a waterfall, or something. Some people feel married to their jobs, which is OK, as long as they have their priorities straight. It’s often been said that we spend more time with our co-workers than we do with our families, so that might argue for more effort put into finding companionable co-workers than boy/girlfriends! (not really. just kidding, honest… 😕 ) I’d be interested in reading the results if you do pursue boyfriend with head and job with heart. 😉 Probably a balance in each would work, as apinkykiss said.
sulz: a book or a waterfall… man, you’re weird.
haha, why not? we definitely spend more waking hours at work! 😛 and office politics may not be a problem if you focus it that way.
nah, talk is cheap. i don’t think i can actually be with someone i’m not attracted to any more than i would go for a job i want but with impractical factors like really far working place or pittance for wages. maybe the trick is to learn to fall in love with what you have (or in my case, don’t)! 🙂
I think your comparison is very valid. I also take a step further going with muse when they talk about books and waterfalls. Besides the potential joke there, it’s true. My best friend in real life has a boyfriend/ex (no idea what they are in the moment). She tells me all about it, and both of us often consider the relationship to be unsustainable because of all the cons… but then she remembers all the pros and her emotional side takes over her. Now, I am not emotionally involved in that relationship so I can do some analisis…
I think there will always be pros in your present or past relationships. After all, you entered them for some reason, nobody forced them on you. Right? It is very rare to analise one relationship and find absolutely nothing good; no, this would be too easy. Someone once told me that you can never have 100% certainty in something… or you can, but by the time you do it will be too late to act on it to change the outcome. So, here’s the fact: sadly, you are going to have to make a decision that is not easy to begin with.
So, knowing that the person, job or waterfall have these bunch of good things you can’t ignore, you will have to seriously consider if the pros outweight the cons or viceversa. Is staying in worth it considering the information you currently have? Are you clinging to the current situation because of a valid reason that will benefit you? Or are you acting out of fear? Are you making a choice based on a false hope that one day the inconvenients will disappear and leave you only with the good things you don’t want to give up on? What will be better for you in the long run?
Unfortunately, whatever you choose, you will have to give up on something.
And don’t worry, I have lots of mental speeches like these, but I am not good at following my own advices. It is always easier said than done. Good luck. 🙂
sulz: sigh, you are right, of course. you bring up all the questions that i myself wonder. sadly, i haven’t found the answers for it. 😦 maybe something will happen soon that helps me with the answer!
life is not easy to learn, huh?
Look, I have always believed that relationships are a lot of heavey work – much like a heavy job!
sulz: and you’ve picked the toughest kind of job to love! but he’s obviously worth it, huh? 😉
Relationships involve a lot of work – way too much sometimes. Frustrating. Currently I am looking for work so I don’t need to think about my relationships 🙂 I doubt if any of us will ever find the perfect partner or job. Gr8 if we find both right? 🙂
sulz: it’s be beyond gr8 – better than striking the lottery! they both involve a lot of work, but doesn’t mean we’ll give up trying, right? 🙂 we might take a break though!
Nice comparison. Of course, one thing that jobs and relationships have in common is that it’s nigh impossible to find one that is actually perfect – or maybe I’m just pessimistic.
Jobs, relationships, head and heart… why not pursue both with both?
sulz: well, there’s relatively perfect of course. 😀 i usually try to do that, but something always wins over the other. in the case of my job, my heart didn’t want to at first, but my head insisted. and in the case of my previous relationship, my heart wanted to even though my head knew better.
i think no matter what the heart or the head wants, it’s important to have tried. it’s worse to be afraid to try!
New skin!!!
sulz: new theme, not skin. skin is when i have the css upgrade. 😉 i thought this is easier on the eyes than the previous!
Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get until you bite into it.—> Forrest Gump
sulz: trust forrest to sum it up so succinctly! 🙂
Interesting thought. I don’t have a job so I guess I’ma try comparing it with college. But then again, I’ve never really been in a relationship so what am I gonna compare? I guess I should just shut up, isn’t it?
Or maybe find someone and get in a relationship. Fast.
Or maybe get back to tearing newspapers and pasting clippings in scrapbooks for my stupid accounts teacher. She doesn’t even check them.
sulz: don’t worry, son, your time will come, i’m sure. my son’s hot. even hotter when he blogs. 😉 (haha, just teasing, okay?)
whoa, what’s with the sudden random change of topic?
Hi again (I think I told you what my company firewall thinks of your blog 😀 )
Anyway, just a line from me….. don’t do your job by heart!!!! And for other part (relationships), no comments 😀
sulz: i think it’s more convinced than ever of my questionable content after one of my recent posts, haha.
hmm, why not? care to elaborate? 🙂