I Don’t Have To; I Want To

This is my more down-to-earth want to do list, rather than the sort of list of, say, things you want to do before you die.

1. Have the next Movie Night with Angel and Sesat
2. Pack for Bangkok (it’s way too early, but I love packing, that’s part of the fun of travelling!)
3. Clean room and rearrange furniture for incoming bookshelf
4. Arrange books in bookshelf in alphabetical order according to author
5. Improve my English by doing exercises in a grammar book I found
6. Improve my proficiency in a foreign language I’ve previously learnt, either through class or self learn
7. Prepare for my blogging project

The thing with want to do lists is that it’s so flexible because you don’t have to do it, you just want to. Unlike paying bills and turning up for work. Now that I barely have time to just chill and leisurely go about my day, I’m often thinking about what I have to do next. In the morning, I’m quickly going through my Internet routine because soon I have to go to work. In the evening after getting home from work, I’m quickly going through my evening routine because I have to go to work the next day. So a lot of times, things I want to do are pushed behind the things I have to do.

However, it’s that flexibility of want to do lists that usually ends up with us not doing a lot of things in said list. We postpone it for the many other pressing things we have to do. The things we want to do can only be done when we don’t have to do something then.

Well, I’m not like that. I don’t want to be like that. I don’t want to postpone things that I want to do because I have so many other things to do. If I have many things to do, so be it. I will find a way to fit in things I want to do. That is the attitude I take up with my reading habit. I have been reading consistently for many years now as a result of this mentality. Now I need to extend this mentality to the other things I want to do.

Part of this approach is due to my impatience. When I read a book, I intend to finish it in the near future. As long as the book holds my interest, I will keep reading it until I’m done. Some books feel too tedious to do so, so after a while I drop it, unfinished, for another book. I don’t want to waste my time on something that takes too much effort on my part for something I want to do because it’s turning into something I have to do.

So, when I say I want to do something, I really do mean it. If it were possible to do it just then, I would. But some things are best done slowly and methodically, like getting a tattoo – which I’ve said before that I will and I still intend to, but this is something I don’t want to rush into as it’ll last forever!

Other things, however, I get the impression that I should need this much of time before I can devote myself to it, like nos. 5 and 6 on the list. But if I think again, what’s wrong with starting now? So what if I may not have the same amount of time every day to set aside for the thing I want to do? I don’t have to do it every day, but I can try to.

So this is my revised want to do list:

1. Have the next Movie Night with Angel and Sesat
Planned date: Early next month, after receiving paycheck
2. Pack for Bangkok (it’s way too early, but I love packing, that’s part of the fun of travelling!)
Planned date: This weekend or next
3. Clean room and rearrange furniture for incoming bookshelf
Planned date: Before leaving for Bangkok
4. Arrange books in bookshelf in alphabetical order according to author
Planned date: Before leaving for Bangkok
5. Improve my English by doing exercises in a grammar book I found
Planned date: Preferably now
6. Improve my proficiency in a foreign language I’ve previously learnt, either through class or self learn
Planned date: Preferably now
7. Prepare for my blogging project
Planned date: Before Bangkok, of course!

I probably won’t be able to complete the list on the planned dates. But this gives me an idea when I should be doing the things I want to do, so I will mentally adjust myself into finding time to fit these things soon. Deadlines give people pressure. I don’t like pressure much, but if it’s for something I want to do, then it’s motivation. If I find that I don’t feel like doing it on the day I planned, it’s alright – I’ll just schedule it for another day. It is flexible, after all.

I hope you don’t think I’m trying to be preachy about this because I certainly have not done all that I’ve said I would. There are blog posts I’ve mentioned in my blog previously about wanting to write them, but they’re still languishing as half-written drafts in my blog. There are lifestyle changes I want to make but have no willpower to do so.

This is just a start for me in my attempt to try and do things I say that I’d do. I know a few people who are all talk and no action, and their talk bugs me somewhat because to me, action speaks louder than words. Don’t just say it, do it. And while it’s fine to postpone what you want to do for what you have to do, when those want-to-dos keep getting pushed behind the queue and the have-to-dos just keep cutting the queue, you might want to take some time and think if you’re treating yourself, your interests or your family the way they deserved to be treated. That, or maybe deep down you don’t really want to do it.