An office colleague has lent me her Buffy the Vampire Slayer dvds and i’ve been watching it daily like some teen horror soap opera. Which it is, in a way.
Anyway, as with all protagonists who fight evil, buffy finds it hard to conceal her secret identity. In the show, the friends who know have come to accept it and become part of her scooby gang.
I don’t have any superpowers, but i can relate to Buffy when it comes to fighting demons. Except that my demons are personal. Well, she has her personal ones too, but the ones that really requires her commitment are more of the threat to Sunnydale and ultimately mankind sort of demons.
As i was saying, my personal demons. We all have them and for the most part, we hide it. Sometimes, i really want them hidden, repressed. Other times, i wish i were brave enough to open up and reveal these demons. But almost always, i don’t. Fear of being rejected, not being understood always kept that desire in check.
A few weeks ago, i had a fight with a friend. In the course of the fight, some of my inner demons were revealed. My friend did not understand them. And i was crushed.
I just want to be accepted in spite of my inner demons. But i guess it’s not fair to ask for acceptance from someone who doesn’t understand them, nor wants to.
Buffy may have to save the world over and over again, but she has friends to help her fight those demons, universal and personal. If i were Buffy, i think it’s worth having to go through shit like that with friends like that.
Because not having to go through the bad stuff in life all by yourself, it’s a weight off your shoulders. You know they’ve got your back and you have theirs. I think life is more comforting when you get to share everything with people you care about… And care about you too.
Meanwhile, i fight most of my inner demons myself. Until i can find someone who understands them.
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